View Full Version : STAR WARS: A Stupid Menace
Darth Darthy
07-19-2003, 01:43 AM
STAR WARS : A STUPID MEANCE
Dobi-Kenobi or Dobi-Obi as he was once known, sat. On a chair. It was silver. And stuff.
He was the apprentice of Obidobi who in turn was an apprentice of Ohmay-wan-sumkenobi - the only transsexual Jedi known...
Obidobi
07-20-2003, 08:24 PM
.....inside Uranus. He was a first class swartzmaster during the fartwars.
Now he was........
Darth Darthy
07-20-2003, 10:32 PM
...just damn ugly.
By day he was a professional drunkard but by knight (get it it? hahahahahahah) he was selling his...
Javen
07-20-2003, 10:39 PM
....ding dongs for some pie, as he sat and ate the pie he had a great thought, he got up quickly and...
Darth Darthy
07-20-2003, 10:47 PM
...put away his 'sabre. As a pada**** he was told to keep his 'sabre consealed. A Jedi with his 'sabre on plain show was considered as odd. His next task in hand would be to...
Obidobi
07-21-2003, 12:33 AM
......find his other saber.....He knew it was inside his pants, but it was so long time ago since the last time he had wield it's power, and because of that...almost forgotten.... Suddenly a..........
Darth Darthy
07-21-2003, 12:39 AM
...Bounty Hunter Ladyboy called Obidobi-Bendovey came from behind...!
Obidobi
07-21-2003, 12:45 AM
.....Luckily Dobi-Kenobi or Dobi-Obi as he was once known, felt the butt hunter's presence through the swartz and avoided the cruel attack, and sent all the Norwegian semen.........
Darth Darthy
07-21-2003, 12:51 AM
...to conquer a far off planet called Toiltinne. They failed and died. Meanwhile Dobi-Obi did a hard slow motion 3 million and sixty degrees ninja kick in bullet time and killed the evil Butthunter...
...Suqa-my-dique, who then shot to the moon of Tutunkaman where he ran into a bunch of clown that looked like his mother-in-law. then the apprentice...
Obidobi
07-21-2003, 07:30 PM
.....fell asleep.
But not before the usual smoking of the old underpants he got from Prruuiit von Fart and Ohmay-wan-sumkenobi - the only transsexual Jedi known.....!
When he finaly........
Obitwokenobi
07-21-2003, 08:14 PM
completed his "happy time" he...
Darth Darthy
07-24-2003, 07:30 PM
...disposed of his Kleenex and washed his hands. He left the ladies public toilet and decided to go to the most scummy and villainous cantina for a nice...
Obidobi
07-24-2003, 07:40 PM
.......kick in the nuts....and maybe some teeth kicked out by the "wannabe virgins when they are 50, girls".....! One dark and ...........
JonanMephi
07-25-2003, 01:07 PM
...terrible drink later, he turned to ICUP, his loyal mandroid servant, and said, "I think I need to vent some frustration!". Horrified at what might happen ICUP began...
Darth Darthy
07-25-2003, 02:21 PM
...to weep openly. He ran but he made one fatal mistake - he stood on Obi-Dobis stroodle in his haste to escape. Obi-Dobi was most displeased...
JonanMephi
07-25-2003, 02:24 PM
...and so turned to his mentor, Poota. "Master Poota? Please....I must know the truth! Is Dora the Invader really my mom?"
As Poota rips one, *pbbbbbt*, "No, your sister she is!" *pbbbbt*
Feeling dejected he...
Darth Darthy
07-25-2003, 02:33 PM
...he decided to drown his sorrows with a couple of brews and some spice sticks at his local intergalactic YMCA...
Javen
07-25-2003, 02:39 PM
...as he was drinking away, he noticed two women joined by their hair. They were sipping on a bottle of Vodka with two straws. They passed him a note and the note read...
JonanMephi
07-25-2003, 02:46 PM
..."Want some doublemint gum?" Having read that Obidobi called upon his smuggler friend, YouGo Solo. "Hey YouGo! I need a pickup NOW!! I am in a sticky situation and need...
Obidobi
07-25-2003, 11:33 PM
....some rubber, so I can entertain this lovely ladies with their pube hair grown together. Darthy came to the rescue and......
Darth Vegas
07-25-2003, 11:58 PM
...started sucking on...
Javen
07-26-2003, 01:01 PM
...a wet fart that smelled as bad as a ...
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 01:38 PM
...whiff of Javen's legendary "Sith" breath.
"Let me help you with those young ladies, Obi-Dobi" replied Darthy as he pulled out his...
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 09:06 PM
.....pair of scissors and started to help the ladies with their pube hair grown together.
"There you go", Darthy said and........
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 09:26 PM
...ObiDobi began to play with himself.
After being excluded from the bar ObiDobi, Darthy and the Pube Twins went to have...
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 09:35 PM
......some hot steamy coitus at the local......
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 09:37 PM
...Love Motel. After Darthy finished and ObiDobi complained that he couldn't get it up they decided to...
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 09:43 PM
.....go look for the swartz so ObiDobi could find his old self back to what he once was.
In the meantime on the dark side of the moon........
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 10:28 PM
...an evil Sith Lord Called Master Bater. Master Bater was planning to...
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 10:38 PM
....take his horizontal and lay shara vertical so he could.....
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 10:48 PM
...slip his Sith in. But they were interupted by a huge, greasy...
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 10:55 PM
...stupid maniac who suddenly totally lost his mind and started to babble Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.....
I like it here.....but...... 15 men and a dead mans chest......yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.......
Somebody help me....I'm going nuts.......look....there are my nuts.......
"I can't keep the vision out of my head. They're my friends. I've got to help them."
blablubblubyeeeeehaaa.......
Darthy and Obi-Dobi looked at each other and.......
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 11:00 PM
...decided to throw the empty bottle of Bacardi away and crack open the JD.
"It's a higher class of drink." Noted Obidobi,
"I'll have mine stirred not shaken" replied Darthy. Just then...!
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 11:03 PM
Jedi Master Bates and his lover Darth Sucksikle came along hand in hand singing......
Darth Darthy
07-26-2003, 11:14 PM
...the theme tune to A Differen' Strokes. Suddenly Obidobi....
Obidobi
07-26-2003, 11:24 PM
...was assaulted by Halle Berry and dragged into a huge bed with red lights all over and......
Darth Darthy
07-27-2003, 01:32 AM
...poked in the eye with a ladies mechanical pleasure device. ObiDobi winced in pain...
Obidobi
07-30-2003, 08:21 PM
......and threw inside about 16 beers andstarted to sing his old toilett songs............
Darth Darthy
07-30-2003, 08:42 PM
...about the "arab wipe" and such. One song went,
"I've dropped a corney bomb,
It was nutty and long,
The cleaner might be pissed,
Cause I think I missed.."*
After his song ObiDobi decide he wanted a naked...
*© Darth Darthy Productions.
Obidobi
07-30-2003, 08:50 PM
........anything and.....
Darth Darthy
07-30-2003, 09:00 PM
...whipped out his kebab only to find it had...
Saranac
07-30-2003, 09:03 PM
..had been severed by Clara in her "bad" time of the month...
Darth Darthy
07-30-2003, 09:12 PM
...luckily Saranac - who had just completed his internet course - "*****' and how to repair yours to full length" was on hand to give ObiDobi an extension a porn star would be proud of...
Saranac
07-30-2003, 09:16 PM
..if they liked short and stubby kebabs, although luckily Darthy was used to a short "thing" after that nasty...
Darth Vegas
08-01-2003, 02:47 AM
...old diaper he had for...
Darth Darthy
08-01-2003, 02:55 AM
...for a pubic turban. It was just then that...
Darth Vegas
08-01-2003, 03:41 AM
...with tweezers and a magnifiying glass he discovered his *****...
Darth Darthy
08-01-2003, 03:44 AM
..was roughly the same size as TK-007s record breaking 0.2mm long. If he was quick he could inform the Guniness Book of Pointless Galactic Records...
Obidobi
08-04-2003, 04:21 PM
..........to make a "model" of it to be the highlight in the Madam Tussauds .........
Darth Darthy
08-04-2003, 04:29 PM
...where thousands of American and Japanese tourists would flock - simply to be close to the 8th wonder of the world...
Obidobi
08-04-2003, 04:46 PM
.....just like the opposite size next to it which was the model of ObiDobi's huge "one" style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif ....On the other side of.......
Darth Darthy
08-04-2003, 05:13 PM
...the ObiDobi sculpture was an evil person called Saranac who wanted to steal the piece for himself...
Saranac
08-04-2003, 09:32 PM
...so he could implant it onto his body for all the ladies to admire...
Darth Darthy
08-04-2003, 09:36 PM
...but while attempting to steal it from the sculpture Saranac noticed it was only 0.3mm long. This simply wouldn't do...
Obidobi
08-05-2003, 07:09 PM
...him any good. He started to cry like I'm not mention any name, but he is around and called for his mother mother (or grandmother if u wish) who was stuck in the toilet .......
Darth Darthy
08-06-2003, 02:28 PM
...due to a particularly bad case of constipation brought on by...
Saranac
08-06-2003, 08:07 PM
...Tovor's foul stench from a three year old can of baked beans, he uncovered...
Darth Darthy
08-07-2003, 09:29 PM
...whilst rummaging through J-Los buttcrack to find the sofa he lost up there while he and J-Lo were...
Saranac
08-11-2003, 05:38 PM
...cleaning out Ben Afflecks rectum after his bachelor party at Obidobi's house, which included...
Darth Vegas
08-11-2003, 05:40 PM
....a special guest appearance by Giant Hairy Nipple lady and...
Saranac
08-11-2003, 05:46 PM
...Jeff, the stripper Obidobi ordered for his own personal pleasure, dances he did included the Alabama Slim Slam and...
Darth Vegas
08-11-2003, 05:48 PM
...Vader "Who's your daddy?" on your knees ***** dance, but it wasn't long before Obidobi's mom showed up and..."
Saranac
08-12-2003, 08:19 PM
...Darthy joined into the dancing fun gyrating alongside Obidobi's mom and...
Darth Darthy
08-15-2003, 10:21 PM
...decided he was just too damn sexy to the ladies. He didn't want their death on his hands. Luckily the thin, boney and smally-endowed Saranac noticed a twinkle in Obidobi's Mom's eyes and pulled off his pants to reveal a g-string and an almost minute-impossible-to-see-with-the-naked-eye...
Saranac
08-15-2003, 10:53 PM
...***** style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif which was emitting a fountain from it's spout, Darthy noticing this...
Obidobi
08-17-2003, 12:41 PM
.....laughing his brains out and put his......
Darth Darthy
08-19-2003, 08:39 PM
...foot down. On Saranacs manhood. The tears flowed as Saranac hoped abooooot while cupping his "little willy" in one hand, the other hand had an extended forefinger poking right up...
Saranac
08-20-2003, 12:07 AM
...his anal cavity in hopes of finding his extra nemo he kept handy there style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif, suddenly...
Darth Vegas
08-20-2003, 12:43 AM
...his ass exploded and globs of giant putrifide dung came out and covered the walls and...
Saranac
08-20-2003, 12:45 AM
...Darthy proceeded to start licking it up, stripping his clothes off in the process and waving...
Darth Darthy
08-20-2003, 10:26 PM
...a mexican wave that an authentic mexican would be proud of. It was just then he noticed the nutty texture an made the assumption that Saranac had previously eaten a pack of cashews to complement his main dish of...
Obidobi
08-20-2003, 10:35 PM
.....waves. Saranac was eaten by Darthy and Tk was filled with joy while he was taking a dump at the............
Darth Darthy
08-20-2003, 10:38 PM
...local Transvestite Convention which had been recommened by...
Obidobi
08-20-2003, 10:45 PM
.......Darthsikle, since he was the president of the convention. He was.....
Saranac
08-20-2003, 11:24 PM
...required to give hand-jobs to all the guest, while they...
Darth Darthy
09-07-2003, 07:20 PM
...all choked on their weiners on a stick at ObiDobis promotion in the ranks. The Master of Perv (Obidobi for the dumber readers) had his weiner on a stick ready to poke anything believing the old prophecy of "Any Hole's a Goal", taught to him by the great and wonderfull...
Saranac
09-10-2003, 10:34 PM
...Chester the Molester who was currently serving 4 consecutive life sentences for...
Darth Darthy
09-14-2003, 08:08 PM
...being Saranac. After his name change, Ches-erm, Saranac became a popular and well known trader in large, pink, almost life-like...
Darth Badly
09-14-2003, 08:18 PM
blow up dolls which the owner could also use in the day time to hide his...
Darth Darthy
09-14-2003, 08:25 PM
...willy in. Which Saranac did on the many occasions the police called around to his house built out of Jeremy Bollock signed photographs. Inside his house of signed photo's he also had a collection of long, hard...
Darth Badly
09-14-2003, 09:27 PM
rock crystals, each one of which he had carefully shaped into a loving 3D image of his beloved Jeremy Bollock. When the room was lit up by candle light the crystal Jeremys shone like stars that had fallen from heaven. He called it his Love Room. Saranac often tried to lure local women back to his house using tins of fish. In the evening he would walk the streets of the local town watching and waiting. Which ever lucky lady looked the most like his Jeremy would be going home with him to the crystal cave that was his special padded Love Room. Sadly few woman were a close enough likeness to Jeremy to be worth the trouble, and the few that were usually just laughed at the size of his...
Darth Darthy
09-14-2003, 09:47 PM
...*****. It came as no shock though. His streak across the International Table-Tennis Associations semi-finals in '95 did, however. He had exposed himself before and would no doubt do it again at the convention for...
Darth Badly
09-15-2003, 02:25 PM
Retired Deep Sea Divers held in New York every other Tuesday. How he loved to feel the throb of rubber against his skin. How he loved to turn his oxygen valve up to 'Full' and watch as the extra oxygen entered his blood stream and helped him to enlarge the size of his already impressive...
Darth Vegas
09-15-2003, 02:32 PM
jugs...
Darth Badly
09-15-2003, 05:17 PM
yes, his organic jugs sat on the kitchen table ready to be filled with beer at a moments notice. In fact on one famous Friday last week, he had drunk so much beer that he woke up next morning laying next to...
Saranac
09-15-2003, 10:32 PM
...a hairy ape-man known to the public as J.Lo., Saranac not remembering anything wondered what the throbbing pain in his buttocks meant...
Darth Badly
09-16-2003, 06:12 PM
perhaps he wondered he might have sat down too fast, but then he thought of something else, something so terrible that he grabbed hold of his...
Darth Vegas
09-16-2003, 06:18 PM
...favorite doll which he had named...
Darth Darthy
09-16-2003, 06:54 PM
...Mr Jeremy the Wonder Doll which according to the packaging had 2 realistic holes. However, Mr Jeremy had popped during the night of passion so Saranac took him to get him repaired at...
Darth Badly
09-16-2003, 07:42 PM
"Cum One Cum All" Repair Shop in town which was run by a rather short man with a thick red beard called Bob. Saranac always thought that was a rather odd name for a beard but he never said anything becuase he was rather frightened of the little owner guy becasue once he had peeked in the back room of the shop and had seen dozens and dozens of...
Saranac
09-16-2003, 10:29 PM
...buckets of feces style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif piled in the back stacked next to the strap-ons and double headers, Bob the Beard taking notice in Saranac interest...
Darth Darthy
09-19-2003, 08:35 PM
...in fecal matters and beards thought he should show Saranac his wide range of "poop beards", made of 100% human poop and corn. Saranac decided on the "Ginger Nut Corn Delux" with added stentch for realism. He reached into his pocket to pay but instead found a hole leading to a hairy...
Darth Badly
09-19-2003, 08:48 PM
rodent which had some how become trapped between his...
Saranac
09-22-2003, 04:15 PM
...sack and his anus, apparently it had latched itself on during the camping trip he took with his priest...
Darth Vegas
09-22-2003, 04:22 PM
...and his mother's boyfriend's uncle's granfather's aunt who's name...
Darth Badly
09-22-2003, 05:12 PM
...he couldn't remember because he was so drunk that evening. That evening when, for the very first time ever, he actually...
Saranac
09-25-2003, 08:00 PM
...had a full orgasm that lasted through the whole night and through to the day, after a long day of "thrusting" he decided to...
Darth Badly
09-25-2003, 08:58 PM
go camping in the woods with some squirrel chums of his. Just before bedtime as they were sitting around the campfire one of the squirrels asked him if he had seen his nuts. It was a tragic movie, one that would result in much...
Darth Vegas
09-25-2003, 11:14 PM
barfing all over the place at the sight of huge, fat, hairy...
Darth Badly
09-28-2003, 01:05 PM
...Bigfoot who suddenly stumbled out of the woods. He name was Johney and in his hand he was holding his own frighteningly large...
Saranac
09-30-2003, 06:27 PM
...twig and berries style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif , which he was stroking and motioning towards Saranac to...
Darth Darthy
10-01-2003, 07:00 PM
...nibble on his bag of berries. Saranac was about to oblige when a soft pair of...
Darth Badly
10-01-2003, 07:08 PM
hands suddenly gripped him by the throat. They lifted him from the ground and began to shake him. It was the Bigfoot's jealous mate. She stomped away into the thick lush undergrowth carrying him with her. They soon reached her cave where it became clear that what she really wanted from him was...
Saranac
10-01-2003, 08:23 PM
...his loose....ness in the rear region, apparently her mate was tighter than nun, upon ripping his pants off...
Obidobi
10-02-2003, 10:04 PM
.......and started to paint his behind into a baby blue......
Darth Darthy
10-03-2003, 09:25 PM
...hue of poo. After Saranacs arse painting, which let's be honest, came as a surprise to us all, he decided he spank his...
Darth Vegas
10-04-2003, 06:52 PM
...pet monkey which he called...
Darth Darthy
10-04-2003, 08:03 PM
...TK-007 in rememberence of his long lost love who shall remain un-named. It was mid-spank that Saranac noticed a strange groaning behin his closet door which suggested that someone was in his closet, watching and...
Darth Vegas
10-04-2003, 08:13 PM
...playing with her...
Darth Darthy
10-04-2003, 08:16 PM
...clit.
Saranac
10-06-2003, 08:32 PM
^put it a period therefore ending it ???
Obidobi
10-07-2003, 01:14 AM
Then from the ashes of that story a new and improved........
JonanMephi
10-07-2003, 01:25 PM
OOC: Whoop! Been a while since I've been here and posted in this thread. A lot to catch up on. Anybody feel like posting a compilation of the story up till now? Oops...I think I just volunteered...well, if you can hold off posting anything else here untill tomorrow, I'll assemble one.
JonanMephi
10-07-2003, 01:45 PM
STAR WARS : A STUPID MEANCE
Dobi-Kenobi or Dobi-Obi as he was once known, sat. On a chair. It was silver. And stuff.
He was the apprentice of Obidobi who in turn was an apprentice of Ohmay-wan-sumkenobi - the only transsexual Jedi known...
.....inside Uranus. He was a first class swartzmaster during the fartwars.
Now he was........
...just damn ugly.
By day he was a professional drunkard but by knight (get it it? hahahahahahah) he was selling his...
....ding dongs for some pie, as he sat and ate the pie he had a great thought, he got up quickly and...
...put away his 'sabre. As a pada**** he was told to keep his 'sabre consealed. A Jedi with his 'sabre on plain show was considered as odd. His next task in hand would be to...
......find his other saber.....He knew it was inside his pants, but it was so long time ago since the last time he had wield it's power, and because of that...almost forgotten.... Suddenly a..........
...Bounty Hunter Ladyboy called Obidobi-Bendovey came from behind...!
.....Luckily Dobi-Kenobi or Dobi-Obi as he was once known, felt the butt hunter's presence through the swartz and avoided the cruel attack, and sent all the Norwegian semen.........
...to conquer a far off planet called Toiltinne. They failed and died. Meanwhile Dobi-Obi did a hard slow motion 3 million and sixty degrees ninja kick in bullet time and killed the evil Butthunter...
...Suqa-my-dique, who then shot to the moon of Tutunkaman where he ran into a bunch of clown that looked like his mother-in-law. then the apprentice...
.....fell asleep.
But not before the usual smoking of the old underpants he got from Prruuiit von Fart and Ohmay-wan-sumkenobi - the only transsexual Jedi known.....!
When he finaly........
completed his "happy time" he...
...disposed of his Kleenex and washed his hands. He left the ladies public toilet and decided to go to the most scummy and villainous cantina for a nice...
.......kick in the nuts....and maybe some teeth kicked out by the "wannabe virgins when they are 50, girls".....! One dark and ...........
...terrible drink later, he turned to ICUP, his loyal mandroid servant, and said, "I think I need to vent some frustration!". Horrified at what might happen ICUP began...
...to weep openly. He ran but he made one fatal mistake - he stood on Obi-Dobis stroodle in his haste to escape. Obi-Dobi was most displeased...
...and so turned to his mentor, Poota. "Master Poota? Please....I must know the truth! Is Dora the Invader really my mom?"
As Poota rips one, *pbbbbbt*, "No, your sister she is!" *pbbbbt*
Feeling dejected he...
...he decided to drown his sorrows with a couple of brews and some spice sticks at his local intergalactic YMCA...
...as he was drinking away, he noticed two women joined by their hair. They were sipping on a bottle of Vodka with two straws. They passed him a note and the note read...
..."Want some doublemint gum?" Having read that Obidobi called upon his smuggler friend, YouGo Solo. "Hey YouGo! I need a pickup NOW!! I am in a sticky situation and need...
....some rubber, so I can entertain this lovely ladies with their pube hair grown together. Darthy came to the rescue and......
...started sucking on...
...a wet fart that smelled as bad as a ...
...whiff of Javen's legendary "Sith" breath.
"Let me help you with those young ladies, Obi-Dobi" replied Darthy as he pulled out his...
.....pair of scissors and started to help the ladies with their pube hair grown together.
"There you go", Darthy said and........
...ObiDobi began to play with himself.
After being excluded from the bar ObiDobi, Darthy and the Pube Twins went to have...
......some hot steamy coitus at the local......
...Love Motel. After Darthy finished and ObiDobi complained that he couldn't get it up they decided to...
.....go look for the swartz so ObiDobi could find his old self back to what he once was.
In the meantime on the dark side of the moon........
...an evil Sith Lord Called Master Bater. Master Bater was planning to...
....take his horizontal and lay shara vertical so he could.....
...slip his Sith in. But they were interupted by a huge, greasy...
...stupid maniac who suddenly totally lost his mind and started to babble Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.....
I like it here.....but...... 15 men and a dead mans chest......yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.......
Somebody help me....I'm going nuts.......look....there are my nuts.......
"I can't keep the vision out of my head. They're my friends. I've got to help them."
blablubblubyeeeeehaaa.......
Darthy and Obi-Dobi looked at each other and.......
...decided to throw the empty bottle of Bacardi away and crack open the JD.
"It's a higher class of drink." Noted Obidobi,
"I'll have mine stirred not shaken" replied Darthy. Just then...!
Jedi Master Bates and his lover Darth Sucksikle came along hand in hand singing......
...the theme tune to A Differen' Strokes. Suddenly Obidobi....
...was assaulted by Halle Berry and dragged into a huge bed with red lights all over and......
...poked in the eye with a ladies mechanical pleasure device. ObiDobi winced in pain...
......and threw inside about 16 beers andstarted to sing his old toilett songs............
...about the "arab wipe" and such. One song went,
"I've dropped a corney bomb,
It was nutty and long,
The cleaner might be pissed,
Cause I think I missed.."*
After his song ObiDobi decide he wanted a naked...
*© Darth Darthy Productions.
........anything and.....
...whipped out his kebab only to find it had...
..had been severed by Clara in her "bad" time of the month...
...luckily Saranac - who had just completed his internet course - "*****' and how to repair yours to full length" was on hand to give ObiDobi an extension a porn star would be proud of...
..if they liked short and stubby kebabs, although luckily Darthy was used to a short "thing" after that nasty...
...old diaper he had for...
...for a pubic turban. It was just then that...
...with tweezers and a magnifiying glass he discovered his *****...
..was roughly the same size as TK-007s record breaking 0.2mm long. If he was quick he could inform the Guniness Book of Pointless Galactic Records...
..........to make a "model" of it to be the highlight in the Madam Tussauds .........
...where thousands of American and Japanese tourists would flock - simply to be close to the 8th wonder of the world...
.....just like the opposite size next to it which was the model of ObiDobi's huge "one" ....On the other side of.......
...the ObiDobi sculpture was an evil person called Saranac who wanted to steal the piece for himself...
...so he could implant it onto his body for all the ladies to admire...
...but while attempting to steal it from the sculpture Saranac noticed it was only 0.3mm long. This simply wouldn't do...
...him any good. He started to cry like I'm not mention any name, but he is around and called for his mother mother (or grandmother if u wish) who was stuck in the toilet .......
...due to a particularly bad case of constipation brought on by...
...Tovor's foul stench from a three year old can of baked beans, he uncovered...
...whilst rummaging through J-Los buttcrack to find the sofa he lost up there while he and J-Lo were...
...cleaning out Ben Afflecks rectum after his bachelor party at Obidobi's house, which included...
....a special guest appearance by Giant Hairy Nipple lady and...
...Jeff, the stripper Obidobi ordered for his own personal pleasure, dances he did included the Alabama Slim Slam and...
...Vader "Who's your daddy?" on your knees ***** dance, but it wasn't long before Obidobi's mom showed up and..."
...Darthy joined into the dancing fun gyrating alongside Obidobi's mom and...
...decided he was just too damn sexy to the ladies. He didn't want their death on his hands. Luckily the thin, boney and smally-endowed Saranac noticed a twinkle in Obidobi's Mom's eyes and pulled off his pants to reveal a g-string and an almost minute-impossible-to-see-with-the-naked-eye...
...***** which was emitting a fountain from it's spout, Darthy noticing this...
.....laughing his brains out and put his......
...foot down. On Saranacs manhood. The tears flowed as Saranac hoped abooooot while cupping his "little willy" in one hand, the other hand had an extended forefinger poking right up...
...his anal cavity in hopes of finding his extra nemo he kept handy there , suddenly...
...his ass exploded and globs of giant putrifide dung came out and covered the walls and...
...Darthy proceeded to start licking it up, stripping his clothes off in the process and waving...
...a mexican wave that an authentic mexican would be proud of. It was just then he noticed the nutty texture an made the assumption that Saranac had previously eaten a pack of cashews to complement his main dish of...
.....waves. Saranac was eaten by Darthy and Tk was filled with joy while he was taking a dump at the............
...local Transvestite Convention which had been recommened by...
.......Darthsikle, since he was the president of the convention. He was.....
...required to give hand-jobs to all the guest, while they...
...all choked on their weiners on a stick at ObiDobis promotion in the ranks. The Master of Perv (Obidobi for the dumber readers) had his weiner on a stick ready to poke anything believing the old prophecy of "Any Hole's a Goal", taught to him by the great and wonderfull...
...Chester the Molester who was currently serving 4 consecutive life sentences for...
...being Saranac. After his name change, Ches-erm, Saranac became a popular and well known trader in large, pink, almost life-like...
blow up dolls which the owner could also use in the day time to hide his...
...willy in. Which Saranac did on the many occasions the police called around to his house built out of Jeremy Bollock signed photographs. Inside his house of signed photo's he also had a collection of long, hard...
rock crystals, each one of which he had carefully shaped into a loving 3D image of his beloved Jeremy Bollock. When the room was lit up by candle light the crystal Jeremys shone like stars that had fallen from heaven. He called it his Love Room. Saranac often tried to lure local women back to his house using tins of fish. In the evening he would walk the streets of the local town watching and waiting. Which ever lucky lady looked the most like his Jeremy would be going home with him to the crystal cave that was his special padded Love Room. Sadly few woman were a close enough likeness to Jeremy to be worth the trouble, and the few that were usually just laughed at the size of his...
...*****. It came as no shock though. His streak across the International Table-Tennis Associations semi-finals in '95 did, however. He had exposed himself before and would no doubt do it again at the convention for...
Retired Deep Sea Divers held in New York every other Tuesday. How he loved to feel the throb of rubber against his skin. How he loved to turn his oxygen valve up to 'Full' and watch as the extra oxygen entered his blood stream and helped him to enlarge the size of his already impressive...
jugs...
yes, his organic jugs sat on the kitchen table ready to be filled with beer at a moments notice. In fact on one famous Friday last week, he had drunk so much beer that he woke up next morning laying next to...
...a hairy ape-man known to the public as J.Lo., Saranac not remembering anything wondered what the throbbing pain in his buttocks meant...
perhaps he wondered he might have sat down too fast, but then he thought of something else, something so terrible that he grabbed hold of his...
...favorite doll which he had named...
...Mr Jeremy the Wonder Doll which according to the packaging had 2 realistic holes. However, Mr Jeremy had popped during the night of passion so Saranac took him to get him repaired at...
"Cum One Cum All" Repair Shop in town which was run by a rather short man with a thick red beard called Bob. Saranac always thought that was a rather odd name for a beard but he never said anything becuase he was rather frightened of the little owner guy becasue once he had peeked in the back room of the shop and had seen dozens and dozens of...
...buckets of feces piled in the back stacked next to the strap-ons and double headers, Bob the Beard taking notice in Saranac interest...
...in fecal matters and beards thought he should show Saranac his wide range of "poop beards", made of 100% human poop and corn. Saranac decided on the "Ginger Nut Corn Delux" with added stentch for realism. He reached into his pocket to pay but instead found a hole leading to a hairy...
rodent which had some how become trapped between his...
...sack and his anus, apparently it had latched itself on during the camping trip he took with his priest...
...and his mother's boyfriend's uncle's granfather's aunt who's name...
...he couldn't remember because he was so drunk that evening. That evening when, for the very first time ever, he actually...
...had a full orgasm that lasted through the whole night and through to the day, after a long day of "thrusting" he decided to...
go camping in the woods with some squirrel chums of his. Just before bedtime as they were sitting around the campfire one of the squirrels asked him if he had seen his nuts. It was a tragic movie, one that would result in much...
barfing all over the place at the sight of huge, fat, hairy...
...Bigfoot who suddenly stumbled out of the woods. He name was Johney and in his hand he was holding his own frighteningly large...
...twig and berries , which he was stroking and motioning towards Saranac to...
...nibble on his bag of berries. Saranac was about to oblige when a soft pair of...
hands suddenly gripped him by the throat. They lifted him from the ground and began to shake him. It was the Bigfoot's jealous mate. She stomped away into the thick lush undergrowth carrying him with her. They soon reached her cave where it became clear that what she really wanted from him was...
...his loose....ness in the rear region, apparently her mate was tighter than nun, upon ripping his pants off...
.......and started to paint his behind into a baby blue......
...hue of poo. After Saranacs arse painting, which let's be honest, came as a surprise to us all, he decided he spank his...
...pet monkey which he called...
...TK-007 in rememberence of his long lost love who shall remain un-named. It was mid-spank that Saranac noticed a strange groaning behin his closet door which suggested that someone was in his closet, watching and...
...playing with her...
...clit.
Then from the ashes of that story a new and improved........
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Continue....
Darth Darthy
10-07-2003, 06:43 PM
EPISODE II:
ATTACK OF THE GIANT SITH MUTANT PERVERT FROM THE ANAL BEARD SYSTEM.
IT IS A DARK TIME FOR THE INNOCENT. TK-007 HAS REBELLED AGAINST THE BUTT PLUG BAN AND BROUGHT MANY SYSTEMS WITH HIM. THE CONSTRUCTION OF THE DEATH SPHERE ALONG WITH THE CORRUPTION OF THE SENATOR OF PERV HAS PUT THE OUTER RIM IN TURMOIL.
ONLY A SMALL BAND OF PERVERTS BROUGHT TOGETHER BY ONE COMMON GOAL (TO GET SOME), CAN SAVE THE GALAXY...
After leaving his home planet, Corn Nugget 12 for a more perverted way of life, Saranac traveled to the Inner Rim in his space craft, SexSlave 1.
His best bet of finding equally perverted companions to join his intergalactic road trip would be to visit the local...
Darth Vegas
10-07-2003, 06:46 PM
...gay bar...
Saranac
10-07-2003, 06:49 PM
...brothel named "In an' Out", where he cummed upon a a suitable companion aptly titled Mike Hunt. After "it" gathered it's belongings it joned Saranac on board the ship for a game of Parcheesi which then turned into....
JonanMephi
10-07-2003, 07:02 PM
a game of strip poker. After finishing the game the realized that thier engines need greasing so they gathered up some large vats of oil and headed toward the engine compartment where they...
Obidobi
10-07-2003, 07:23 PM
....stumbeled over a couple of rodents, who........
JonanMephi
10-07-2003, 07:25 PM
promptly yelled "OH NO!! NOT AGAIN!!!"... then turned and ....
Darth Vegas
10-08-2003, 09:38 PM
...barfed right on his sisters face who then in turn barfed on...
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 06:08 PM
...the stupid fook who complained about Lord Darthy to the mods without having the courtousy to speak to him first. Said stupid fook then swallowed a large portion of Saranac Sisters puke. And died. From spasms. And blood leakage through the ear and nostril. And exploding internal organs. And pain.
So much pain....
Darth Vegas
10-10-2003, 06:14 PM
...in his groin area because...
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 06:51 PM
...he didn't have any testicles to start off with because he was a...
Darth Vegas
10-10-2003, 07:01 PM
....ballchinian with...
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 07:16 PM
...with a desire to stuff cotton wool up Saranac Sisters...
Darth Vegas
10-10-2003, 07:18 PM
...hairy butt that smelled alot like greasy chicken and french fries because...
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 08:20 PM
...she worked in KFC and used a "special" seasoning which many in the Galaxy thought was finger licking good whereas it was in fact so disgustingly greasy and sloppy that it usually slipped right in and out of her...
Saranac
10-10-2003, 08:51 PM
...anus, since she was born with an ass for a chin and a chin for an ass, luckily though...
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 09:17 PM
...she had a large hairy mole on her chin, which was in fact her ass so prospective boyfriends would know the difference. Unfortunately, TK-007 wasn't wearing his glasses that fateful evening, puckered and salved up his lips, stuck out his tongue and...
...got it stuck to the mole, because the temperature was extremly cold...
Saranac
10-10-2003, 10:53 PM
...devoured in faster than Elton John on a friday night, removing his face and licking his lips exclaims "....
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 10:57 PM
"My god Cher! I had no idea your ath was thith cold!" at which point his tounge shrivled to the size of a very small um...tongue, turned the colour of a ripe prune and dropped off into the toilet they were standing over. It was at this point Cher yelled...
Saranac
10-10-2003, 11:00 PM
...."Moooo! At this point EJ was on the floor gagging and Cher attepts to castrate him style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unsure.gif but instead...
Darth Darthy
10-10-2003, 11:16 PM
...found the job had already been done. So instead she ate him. With Elton destroyed and Cher on the verge of obesity due to her Elton John consumption, she turned on herself. And commited suicide by toilet bowl drowning. With Cher and Elton now a memory, Saranac could now continue on his adventure by going into a straight bar to gather some collegues for his quest to save the Rim....
Saranac
10-10-2003, 11:19 PM
...Saranac felt this task was attainable since he knew so much about rim, mostly just how to give it and take it..but to save it, he was clueless.....
Darth Darthy
10-18-2003, 09:02 PM
...so he visited a crappy drinking establishment which some would consider a bar, others a pub. But to those sad, sad Star Wars fans it would always be known as a cantina.
Fat Bobs Cantina, on Route 69 which was situated on the moons of Port-a-loo was his next stop. He ordered a drink and noticed a particularly large breasted woman with the face of sexy lady. Next to her was a frightening visage; a presence of perv if you will.
ObiDobi whispered something in her ear, she smilled and handed him a piece of paper with her comm number on it.
Saranac knew he'd need this kind of pervy mastery if he were to be sucsessful in his mission of love so he introduced himself to ObiDobi as a padawaan of perv and said...
Saranac
10-18-2003, 09:29 PM
...teach me ol' great one your masterful tricks anything you want you shall have. ObiDobi's first task for Saranac was to close his eyes and suck syrup out of a hose. Saranac was good at this back when he was a strug out crack addict he used to do this for money...why?!? he never understood. After completeing the task he...
Darth Darthy
10-18-2003, 09:47 PM
...was almost surprised to learn that such methods had no use when whooing a lady. So instead ObiDobi taught him...
Darth Vegas
10-19-2003, 10:55 AM
...the art of self pleasure by...
Darth Badly
10-22-2003, 09:56 AM
putting a black trash bag over his head and then squeezing his...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:09 PM
...kidney 'till it turned black and fell out his rectum, which then was supposed to be eaten by...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 08:10 PM
...a very sick chap who went by the name of...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:12 PM
...Greedo Boy style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif This sicko was the sickest of all the sickos who ever sicked a sick...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 08:18 PM
...chunk of carrot out of his bag of sick. Master ObiDobi was not impressed and knew he'd have to teach Saranac the ways of the clitoruuuuus if he were to succeed in his mission to satisfy the many nubile ladies of the galaxy. So he slapped Saranac around the ear and said...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:24 PM
...I'm not as think as you drunk I am now suck like you mean it, Saranac then proceeded to castrate him. At the site of his lost *friend* ObiDobi immediatly had a fatal heart attack. Saranac now had to find a new mentor...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 08:26 PM
...at which point Darth Darthy, Lord of the Stuff, walked in, drunk but still in control of his bodily functions. He yelled at the top of his voice...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:29 PM
..." Any ladies looking for a some-what alright time best cum on (um) over here". At which point 2 650lb. women rushed over followed by 3 transvetites who...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 08:35 PM
...rushed straight past Darthy and Saranac and screamed, "GBoy, oh how we've missed you and our special little game!!! Let us playy it now!!!". They dragged GreedoBoy out the door and although the patrons of the cantina could only get glimpses of the proceedings through a small window what they saw was horrorfying. They saw...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:39 PM
...Gboy completely naked getting his body ravaged by all 3 of them, but the most horrifying thing was his absence of a...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 08:47 PM
...pickle. At that point the story changed direction to avoid bad things from happening.
Darthy decided to take his apprentice Saranac to Planet Vaaj, a system close to the Rim, to teach him about...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:49 PM
...women's anatomy, which Saranac knew nothing except it was hairy of course his only experience was with ObiDobi's body which...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 08:57 PM
...didn't really resemble a womens body in any way. At all.
The first lesson Darthy taught his apprentice is that not all are hairy, indeed some are bald, a couple scary and if the owner calls hers larry then you know to leave that cherry. Darthy countinued his teachings through other memorable rhyms such as...
Saranac
10-23-2003, 08:59 PM
...There once was a man from Kent, Had his wife lay the landlord for rent, As she got older the landlord grew colder and now they live out in a tent...this story stuck out in Saranac's pants err...mind because...
Darth Darthy
10-23-2003, 09:08 PM
...as a man from Kent, he knew what was implied or at least meant, and as such the rhym, which was lacking in lemon or lime, was something he could truely lament.
It was just then she caught his eye, her bouncing breastage, her clean hair, the question was - did he dare...
Saranac
10-24-2003, 03:48 PM
...he didn't dare so instead he stare then went to his lair and squeezed the weasel like he had the measles, so....
Darth Badly
10-27-2003, 12:46 PM
the small rodent like animal exploded with a loud pop. This upset our heroes who then decided pass on to the weasel's family their lifelong gift of...
Saranac
10-28-2003, 06:17 PM
...testicles which had also been lost in the explosion. Now that Saranac was without sexual organs he needed to steal new ones. New ones soo big any female would drop trou- on the site of it's massive monstrosity. Darthy was uber jealous since he sported a 2 millimeter tweeter so...
Darth Darthy
10-28-2003, 06:21 PM
...he sold it back to Saranac and got a full refund on his 12 pounder python. Saranac still lacked an apendage that would be suitable for his conquest so he decided to surf the internet and came across...
Saranac
10-28-2003, 06:24 PM
...Dick's Dicks owned and maintained by GBoy. This feature live and dead "shafts". Saranac found a suitable size(7.5 feet), implanted it upon himself and attempted to walk out the store. He was stopped at the door by Gboy who..
Darth Darthy
10-29-2003, 08:37 PM
...wanted to sit on Saranacs face. Saranac promptly refused and a fight broke out...
Darth Badly
10-29-2003, 08:39 PM
...during the fight the two men fought at each other with such strength and power that both of them soon began to feel strangely aroused. This lead to them...
Saranac
10-29-2003, 08:45 PM
...getting slapped in the face by a salami, Saranac's salami of course. After knocking him out he dragged his body into Darthy's pitch black bedroom, then left. Later that night Saranac overheard Darthy's bed shaking and the wall vibrating, which could only mean...
Darth Badly
10-29-2003, 08:48 PM
Darthy's new monthy magazine had arrived in the post and that Darthy was in bed alone enjoying himself flicking through the pages of the new issue of...
Saranac
10-29-2003, 08:52 PM
...Hot And Over 60. After the rocking Darthy came out with a extremely sticky magazine which he gave to Ott the dog. Darthy then noticing he was pantless and all the stares from the city crowd...
Darth Badly
10-29-2003, 09:03 PM
were arousing him even more than the magazine. Darthy grabbed the dog and covered up his massive member by using him as a shield. But has he held that furry canine close to his personal pieces, something strange was happening. Darthy had always had a thing for Chewie, and now he could hardly control himself. Darthy lifted the dog and plunged him slowly down upon his...
Darth Darthy
10-29-2003, 09:04 PM
...R2D2 clock because nothing meant anything to him as he wasn't finished with page 23 - Mildred, 83 from Ohio so he finsihed his box of Kleenex and...
Saranac
10-31-2003, 03:46 PM
...lifted the dog and plunged him slowly down upon his...
Darth Badly
11-04-2003, 02:55 PM
flagpole with the flag of Uncle George flying there in the wind as proud as punch. The dog howled and ran for the hills. Sad and heart broken at losing man's best friend, Darthy went into town wanting enough beer to mend his tragically broken heart. As he sat sipping his beer Darthy's eyes suddenly met the eyes of a...
Darth Darthy
11-04-2003, 03:47 PM
...very sexy lady who beconed him towards a free stall in the toilets. He followed, closed the door and was shocked when she undressed and revealed a huge...
Saranac
11-04-2003, 06:25 PM
...*****, which Darthy lifted and plunged into his...
Darth Badly
11-04-2003, 10:57 PM
mouth, sucking heartly on its salty goodness. "I haven't done this nearly as much as I should like" thought Darthy to himself as he chomped away. "Yum Yum Yum." Then there was a knock on the stall door. It was Big Dave the bar's six feet tall owner. He also wanted Darthy to blow his...
Darth Darthy
11-04-2003, 11:20 PM
...candles out because he was out of breath. Unfortunately Darthy was too busy removing Micky Suttles wind pipe with a pair of tweazers and a toothpick and sending the results to...
Saranac
11-07-2003, 11:50 PM
ObiDobi's widow Michael Jackson, who conseqeuently was also doin' Darthy. Darty then spat out the saltyness and proceeded to stick the *****...
Darth Vegas
11-09-2003, 09:47 AM
...into the fiery chasm of Giant Hairy Nipple lady's...
Obidobi
11-12-2003, 12:19 AM
...glove compartment. She started to vibrate and suddenly exploded in a......
Darth Darthy
11-12-2003, 12:43 AM
...completely unexpected ball of nipple hair and sweaty pubes. At that exact momement Obidobi appeared with a bag to add the pubes to his collection which he had collected over the years. He performed a taste test on a short n' curly and proclaimed...
Saranac
11-12-2003, 04:34 PM
..."Taste's like Se'a'men" then promptly plops it into his mouth, chewing and crunching on the 8 inch hair....
Darth Darthy
11-13-2003, 12:00 AM
...with a wide grin on his face. Saranac decided to join in the festivities and grabbed a hand full. It was only when he heard a crunch he relized the sweaty, wire-like fluff was full of crabs. At first he didn't yell like a little girl, nor did he vomit. He just...
Saranac
11-13-2003, 12:11 AM
...took out a gun and shot Giant Hairy Nipple lady in the face. Spitting the crabby hairs out he twirled the gun around and abruptly shot...
Darth Darthy
11-13-2003, 12:17 AM
...himself in the bag. His left testicle exploded in a firey mass of blood and puss. He yelled a word, a word so horrible it could get him banned. The word he yelled was...
Saranac
11-13-2003, 12:20 AM
..."Poopsmear" everything's ears immedialty exploded at the sound of this profanity except for Darthy's which were extra padded with cum, cum which came from...
Obidobi
11-13-2003, 12:28 AM
.... baby spice girl and Saranac's favourite singer, Bjørn Ulveus from his favourite band ABBA. He went into the Sarlacc pit to try digging out Boba Fart, but all he could find was a smelly .......
Darth Darthy
11-13-2003, 12:29 AM
...hairy nipple lady. Unbenownst to Darthy she had already been filled by the perv...
Obidobi
11-13-2003, 01:23 AM
...erted visions of Saranac's.........
Darth Vegas
11-14-2003, 10:08 PM
mother eating...
Darth Badly
11-14-2003, 10:10 PM
pine forest scented...
Obidobi
11-14-2003, 10:25 PM
....condoms and....
Darth Badly
11-14-2003, 10:37 PM
so he slipped into one quickly so he was ready to...
Darth Darthy
11-14-2003, 11:01 PM
...poke her in the number two hole, but just then...
Saranac
11-15-2003, 03:30 PM
...Darthy came back horny and energized with his 4 footer reattached. He abrubtly tied everyone up and...
Obidobi
11-17-2003, 12:43 AM
...started the video cam for filming his own wedding night.....
Darth Vegas
11-17-2003, 01:09 AM
...which was followed by a reception at Mickey D's...
Darth Morder
11-18-2003, 01:07 AM
Only Mickey loved her too so he decided to murder darthy by .....
Darth Darthy
11-22-2003, 12:20 AM
...poking him in the chin with a slightly bruised and some might say well-passed-it's-sell-by-date pear. It didn't work and Darthy retaliated by...
Obidobi
11-22-2003, 01:10 AM
...letting the pink side of the force flow through him and his beautiful bride....
Darth Darthy
11-22-2003, 01:13 AM
...which lasted 4 hours and 37 minutes. After that marathon, Darthy and his bride were tired and let ObiDobi do some killing with a big metal...
Darth Morder
11-22-2003, 08:13 AM
Poker in the shape of Yoda's arse. Which when soaked in a batch of liquid Swartz....
Saranac
11-22-2003, 09:36 PM
...turned into a jet-black double header much like the one Darthy use for his own personal pleasures. Now that Saranac had a replacement it was on to..
Darth Darthy
11-22-2003, 09:38 PM
...a fat chick, just like Saranac liked. After he relieved himself he decided to...
Saranac
11-22-2003, 09:40 PM
...get on the ground and eat back up the excretion, something Darthy had taught him back when...
Darth Morder
11-23-2003, 10:15 AM
he was just a young Pico-inch masterbating chilli dildo sucking Padawan Burner. Only Saranac over did it and as a result.....
Darth Badly
12-02-2003, 07:23 PM
his tummy began to rumble. He slowly walked back home feeling better with each step. At his house he saw movement in the bedroom window upstairs. He use a force leap to gain entry by the window and was surprised to find that in his bed was the naked and soft form of...
Darth Darthy
12-02-2003, 08:24 PM
...a sleeping pig with its butt pointing high into the air. Saranac saw its pert bottom and proceeded to....
Darth Badly
12-03-2003, 12:46 PM
reach down and unzip himself. Then he slowly held his...
Darth Morder
12-03-2003, 01:07 PM
breathe and approached the sow only to find out that she......
Darth Darthy
12-03-2003, 02:07 PM
...was a bloke pig. "Oh well," he sighed, "just be like last time". Saranac proceeded to pull out his tiny and some might say almost invisible...
Darth Morder
12-03-2003, 03:34 PM
Originally posted by Darth Darthy@Dec 4 2003, 05:07 AM
...was a bloke pig. "Oh well," he sighed, "just be like last time". Saranac proceeded to pull out his tiny and some might say almost invisible...
Life Sabre and while enjoying his time thought to himself jeez this is such a BOAR style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif just then Darthy came in and was jealous of Saranacs luck so reached out for his lightsabre and using the Swartz ......
Saranac
12-03-2003, 11:49 PM
...blew a load all over the pig's face, then proceeded to...
Darth Morder
12-04-2003, 08:01 AM
Originally posted by Saranac@Dec 4 2003, 02:49 PM
...blew a load all over the pig's face, then proceeded to...
Look at Saranac in the same manner as Saranac looked at the Boar. When he found out what Darthy was thinking Saranac.....
OOC: Hey guys check out the new forum I created as a sequal (this being Episode I) to this Forum
BLAH WARS Episode V The Umpire Strikes Back
Darth Morder
12-07-2003, 01:19 AM
said I'll be with you shortly Then you can show me.
meanwhile on the Numbumorian command ship Darth Morder was speaking with the Spiceboy.. And Quenn Ullidulla have you filmed the Porno.
"she's escaped one Ansell cruiser passed the blockade"
grrr I want that porno filmed
"but they've gone into hyperspace it's impossible to locate them"
Not for A Sniff. This is my apprentice Darft Ballz. He will find your lost ship
back on corry's style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif saranac completed his piggyback and approached darthy.....
Darth Darthy
12-07-2003, 08:32 PM
...but Darthy's visit into the Cantina thread makes him remind his fellow Senate members that The Cantina is a place for pretentious teens who are better then us. And under no circumstances should it be entered with those with a sense of humour lest you want your warning level upped. Plo's Pub is the best place for that, especially as the ladies in there aren't suffering from constant PMS or deusions of grandure...
Darth Morder
12-09-2003, 05:19 AM
Believing this may be a rejection Saranac turned away disappointed but not angry. He went to look for Obi-Dobi to satisfy his craving but unfortunantly.....
Darth Badly
12-23-2003, 12:21 AM
He was gone for the day. Instead Saranac opened a desk drawer and scooped out a pile of his favorite magazine called...
Obidobi
12-26-2003, 12:50 AM
....."My favourite magazine". He open up on page 3 and.....
Darth Morder
01-04-2004, 06:30 PM
There as stark as daylight was a pic of Darthy enjoying a quick fix with a cheetah saranac stormed off throwing the mag into the fire....
Darth Darthy
01-05-2004, 08:29 PM
...at that moment Darthy walked in and noticed the pervy mag and cringed.
He was still being punished for that night he got so drunk he only really sobbered up in court 2 days later and barfed on his lawyer.
He'd have to make Saranac "disappear" if he was to keep his secret safe...
Darth Badly
01-05-2004, 08:57 PM
... he could never allow anyone to find out the truth about his huge
Obidobi
01-05-2004, 10:20 PM
...lightsaber, with the tiny blade wich.....
Saranac
01-11-2004, 03:14 PM
...he poked small furry things with, Saranac now completely at a loss of material proceeded to please himself by staring at the wall.
Darth Morder
01-14-2004, 08:12 PM
Hi Guys I'm starting a new thread and I need three more ppl to join so we can start. It's called The Mole: in space. Like channel 7's The Mole. if your interested plz join.
Darth Morder
01-14-2004, 08:13 PM
Andn there on the wall was a pic of himself. He thought "now that's the best looking guy I've ever seen but why is.....
Obidobi
01-19-2004, 06:56 PM
...he that small? I mean.....
Darth Morder
01-29-2004, 01:43 AM
I mean surly this guy with such a face needs more crystals in his sabre than that. Depressed Saranac....
Darth Morder
02-28-2004, 10:29 PM
Headed out and tried to get away from everybody thinking nobody cared. It was just then that the Numbumorians struck. at the sight of the intruders Saranac....
Edgeomatic
02-29-2004, 02:27 PM
got a woody
Darth Darthy
02-29-2004, 03:07 PM
...and whipped out his Itchy the Wookiee Deluxe Blow Up doll with realistic yak hair and began to...
Edgeomatic
02-29-2004, 04:50 PM
mastro bait style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif
Darth Darthy
02-29-2004, 05:13 PM
...even though his Deluxe Itchy the Blow-Up Wookiee doll had 2 realistic entries, Saranac felt the urge to wack-off instead because...
Edgeomatic
02-29-2004, 05:55 PM
he saw a picture of his mom...
Darth Morder
03-01-2004, 02:03 AM
and saying to himself I always dreamt of being a mother style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif so he headed home until he remebered his mother died because...
Edgeomatic
03-01-2004, 07:40 PM
of looking at his face when...
Darth Morder
03-04-2004, 01:43 PM
He forgot to put his magic Masking helmet on and as a result for the first time in her life she saw what her son truly looked like. Such a shock would....
Edgeomatic
03-04-2004, 05:09 PM
make a mans "meat"saber fall off and any woman puke
Darth Morder
03-06-2004, 09:55 PM
Suddenly Saranac spotted a 5'4" attractive woman staring at him with interest. As Soon as he started to aproach her , however she grew to a massive 12' tall. and picked saranac up removed his helmet and began to use him as a toy.. The sound of her Titanic voice was so loud that it'd wake the dead. It also caught Darthy's attention so he came to investigate....
Darth Darthy
03-07-2004, 09:48 AM
...which Saranac found rather pleasureable. After it was done with him it introduced Saranac itself as Won-Ton, the previous lover of Javen from the "Say Something About.." thread...
Darth Morder
03-07-2004, 09:51 AM
yet she decided that Saranac should know her real name. I am Amellysan It's a pity you're so small are you free for a time. After she finished saying this Darthy ran in and said No his not, but I am. Amellysan then looked at Darthy and said So?...
Darth Darthy
03-07-2004, 10:00 AM
...but before Amellysan could finsh the sentence Darthy's accute gaydar force power tingled his spidey-sense. "Hmm, somethings not ri - THAT'S NO WOMAN! THAT'S A MAN!!!"...
Darth Morder
03-07-2004, 10:03 AM
Originally posted by Darth Darthy@Mar 8 2004, 01:00 AM
...but before Amellysan could finsh the sentence Darthy's accute gaydar force power tingled his spidey-sense. "Hmm, somethings not ri - THAT'S NO WOMAN! THAT'S A MAN!!!"...
At this Amellysan chuckles Hahaha You fool this is the thing that makes you think I'm male. At this she pulls saranac out and places him next to Darthy. Saranac was still awestruck about his previous situation only when he saw Darthy's face did he realise he wasn't dreaming. I mean surely Darthy wouldn't be in such a dream...
Darth Vegas
03-07-2004, 10:03 AM
...."And she, uh I mean he has a giant shlong on his forehead!" Darthy's spider-sense stopped tingling, he was so utterly shocked by the sight of this! He proceeded to rip his eyeballs from his sockets when suddenly...
Darth Morder
03-07-2004, 10:07 AM
Amellysan tightens her belt stands up to her full height and grabs the Spear of Murder, her weapon that she uses to murder any who annoy her. she begins looking at both darthy and TK pointing her spear at both then changing her mind.....
Darth Morder
03-07-2004, 10:40 AM
Name: Amellysan The Blackhearted
Age: 32
Species: Human
Gender: Female
Homeworld: The Abyss
Height: 12'6" (384cm)
Eyes: Brown
Hair: Red
Complexion: Fair
Weapon: Spear of Murder +6
Sexuallity: Heterosexual ( Not that there's anybody tall enough to be involved with anyway)
Edgeomatic
03-10-2004, 11:40 PM
Dak the only 13 year old botty hunter comes in and sais with is homemade mandolarian mask and sais "i have a report of a freak of nature heeeeere!" he suddenly yelled as she picked him up
Edgeomatic
03-10-2004, 11:57 PM
"damn u. lemme go! freak!"
Darth Morder
03-10-2004, 11:59 PM
Amellysan chuckles and decides to use the kid for the same ritual as she recently performed on Saranac.
Edgeomatic
03-11-2004, 12:02 AM
"oh shiznit!" he immediantly gets his cell phone and says, "yo pimp daddy get the boys from the ghetto up here asap!" in a second gangstars surrond her w/ weapons drawn
Darth Morder
03-11-2004, 12:04 AM
Believing the gangsters put there foot in it she decided to put her foot in them. or through them to be precise
Edgeomatic
03-11-2004, 12:06 AM
"damn fool thas my crew u stepped on!" he then pulls out a magazine. "give you porno if u put me down"
Darth Morder
03-11-2004, 12:42 AM
Amellysan picks you up throws away the magazine and looking at you with a giggle says
" I already have all I need"
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