Discussion: Back Stage

[DarthSolo]

Has anybody read my friggin Fanfic? id like some feedback. i dont care if you think it sucks cause im still gonna finish it, but still give me some feedback, even if you do think it sucks

[Zane Marit]

Where is it???

I'll give it a read

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[DarthSolo]

I dont know how to make links, but it is in the Coruscant Theater forum. Yeah thats the forum we're in now. It's called Back Stage, Spice and Peace Brigade dealings.

[Zane Marit]

OK...read what was up so far. Your space battles are written very well and the pace of the story is on target. I am intrigued by the idea of another Fett.

I do have some questions tho...

Why would the Rodian address to all his patrons about his dealings with the Peace Brigade and being a spice runner...It just seems like a dumb thing to say to patrons ???

If these guys are allies of the Peace Brigade. And the PB is allied with the YV, then why would the YV attack them?

It's good that you have the 2 different versions of spice in your story, but you don't go into the difficulties of getting into Kessels atmosphere. No one can just walk around on Kessels surface. I am sure you know this but a reader that doesn't know should know that. It would be better not to leave it to assumption.

All in all it is a good story. Keep it coming.

[3rdgenerationfett]

i liked it write more but you know me, and got the 3rd gen. fett from me so whatever

[DarthSolo]

thank you! both of you,

As for the vong attacking them, something went awry and it pissed the vong an peace brigade off, so the Rodian was going to try to make it up to them, and he needed all of his patrons to know, so they could do their duties accordingly. he kept them in the dark because he didnt want the secret to get out, the comedy club was already a front for a spice funning organization, and now the spice running organization is a front for the peace brigade.

and i just spaced the kessel atmosphere thing. ooops

thank you for you complements zane, the next chapter should be out tomorrow or sometime this week, im a slacker and havent written in a while.

[Zane Marit]

Thanks for explaining my questions...I hope i didn't come across as a "Super Geek" about the Kessel thing...I guess I just wanted to make you aware for continuity reasons ???

I love how original your story concept is (Mine is not really original, just what I think would happen in EPIII)...from the opposite side of things (Spice runner/comedian). Anyways...keep it coming.

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[DarthSolo]

awesome, im writing the next chapter within a few minutes!! no your not a super geek, i was aware of it, i just completely forgot when i was writing. I'll have to change that if i put it anywhere else.

If you like the idea of the new fett, i have at least one story featuring him that i am thinking of. i'll probably start writing it after this one is finished. maybe im a busy man. bussiness and laziness dont go to well together

[Zane Marit]

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[DarthSolo]

Chapter 8 is up!!

BTW Zane, what is your fanfic called? maybe ill give it a read, since you gave mine such an honor!!

[Zane Marit]

The Last Apprentice...Its on the same page as yours just a few more down...Also check my sig. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cool.gif

[DarthSolo]

oh ok! im an idiot!! great

[DarthSolo]

well it has been finished!! please give me any feedback! cause im gonna revise it and make it better! thank you

[Zane Marit]

I dunno where to begin...The end seemed really rushed, like you just wanted to end it. ??? With a little more thought to the story and some more time to develop it, it could be awesome. The idea is great, it just seemed rushed towards the end.

Was the Ryn Checklev or was he a different species? A Ryn as a jedi would be weird since they are very secretive and rare to come across, but still to have one as a jedi is interesting.

As a first draft this shows promise, but still needs work.


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[DarthSolo]

you are amazingly perceptive, Zane. It was terribly rushed. ive gotten soo busy lately that i lost track of it. I had a great idea for the last battle and just spit it out without any thought. I will be doing a second draft sometime when i get time to sit down and revise it. It'll be better. thanks man, for lettin me know! ill tell you with any develpments!!

[Zane Marit]

No problemo...I really think you have a great story idea. It just needs to be polished up a bit. I hope you don't find this too harsh, but hey at least someone is reading your stuff and getting you feedback. It appears no one really has anything to say about the 2 I have up here.

I will finish Knight Trials and probably not any others...


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