The NEW and IMPROVED "A long time ago..."

[SonGokou]

Okay, some of us (me) got into trouble for personal lampooning on the original thread. So to start off can I just say:
"SORRY!!!!!! It wasn't meant to be a personal jibe, just some lighthearted rib tickling."

Okay, the rules are the same, but I guess no lampooning of real characters, living or dead. No animals were harmed in the making of this production...

[SonGokou]

A long Galaxy ago, in a time far, far away...


STAR WARTS: THE HUMOROUS MENACE

EPISODE II

The Senate has made a vote, all cheeses are to be taxed, including Stilton, the outlying star systems are not...

[Obidobi]

.... in the mood for taxes, so they contacted a fearfull sithlord named Darth Annoyed to..........

[Polunis]

"rub out" the oppressive tax collectors. Little did he know...

[Obidobi]

.......that he was banned into oblivion by his master Darth Outraged and had no opportunety to "rub out" anything.
On the planet of........

[Polunis]

Vienna Sausage, the Jungle Timmys were living it up until one fateful morning...

[Obidobi]

..... when the bad smelling cheese of Stilton woke up and......

[Polunis]

spoiled their day with his raunchy scent. The hapless Timmys fled away only to...

[Obidobi]

...... realize that he forgot to put on his shoes, and his newly bought set of underwear that he........

[Polunis]

sold his internal organs to provide the necessary funds. Dismayed and disheartened...

[Obidobi]

.... he went to a faumos slave owner called Didelido and.....

[Polunis]

pilfered his prize pig for the Pageant. Ah, life is looking up for...

[Nathan Butler]

(Note to fellow mods, others: Yeah, this is technically a resumption of a locked thread, but in this case, it should be fine. I'll take responsibility for keeping it open if anyone else objects.) Carry on, carry on. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Obidobi]

(Thanks Nathan style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif )( Please free SonGokou)


........ all the hapless Timmy`s in the far away time in a galaxy not so long ago. A young Jedi master, with the gloryous name Glory Wan Mohamed and his padawan........

[Polunis]

Johnny Bob decided to make their fortune by selling...

[Obidobi]

.....themselves to a house of....(you know). This however.....



style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unhappy.gif

[Polunis]

resulted in their immediate dismissal from the Galactic Postage Stamp club; disguntled postal workers immediately stormed their...

[Obidobi]

.....dumpster in their search for love dolls and wine bottles. A terrifying fight followed...........



style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unhappy.gif

[Polunis]

resulting in the postal workers impaling themselves on knives. The fearless Jedi blast off to...

[Obidobi]

........ Big Jedi Momma and asked for hiding. In the meantime The famous slave owner Didelido was furious and sent out a bounty hunter........




style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unhappy.gif

[Polunis]

named Pegleg Pete to eliminate them. Luckily for the Jedi, Pete...

[Obidobi]

....the Pegleg did`nt have any legs, so his mother grounded him until he had bought some new. When Glory wan mohamed and Johnny Bob got.........

[Polunis]

to their destination, they congratulated themselves on their "legwork" as opposed to that of Pegleg Pete. The Moldy Fish were in concert, so they opted to attend and enjoy the mosh pit. The Master lost his...

[Darth Darthy]

...lightsabre in an unfeasably large, oddly placed chunk of Stilton. To get it back he's gonna have to...

[Obi-Wan]

...Buy 40 boxs of cookies and a large order of malts....

[Darth Darthy]

...which, unfortunately aren't in season on this side of the Rim. He would need something different, something pointless, soemthing even more ludicrous than 40 boxes of cookies and malt...

[Obidobi]

..... He needed something to eat, something that smelled like his toes and was really discusting. They stumbeled over some............

[Darth Darthy]

...Stilton! It was like the Force had will'd it to be. Without pause for thought our intrepid hero dug into a hunderd and thirty four pounds of pure cheese to free his lightsabre. Can he do it?...

[Obidobi]

(What the he** is Stilton?)

HMMM! Wondering wondering! Then he suddenly got it. He just had to play some on his gameboy. Overfilled with joy, the wise Master Glory wan Ahmed recived a lightsaber from Mario andLuigi inside the hundred and thirty four pound of cheese. Johnny boy was.........

[Darth Darthy]

...more than a little annoyed to find the blue cheese that is Stilton clogging up the game slot on his Gameboy Advance™. He had had enough, he would let go of his anger and destroy the nearest...

[Obidobi]

...... outside toilett. Sadly inside this old and ancient crap place, there was a sith doing his craphing and.....

[Darth Darthy]

...more then a little annoyed to be disturbed mid push. Electric bolts shot out from his...

[Obidobi]

..... his very small friend between his knees and his tummy button. But since "his friend" was so small it...........

[Darth Darthy]

...it only produced a tiny electrical 'discharge', a bit like when you put your tongue* to a 9V battery. Our Jedi hero was not impressed and...

*This in no way implies that our intreped Jedi Hero put his tongue anywhere near the Sith Lords "Friend"...

[Obidobi]

....throwed a bucket of icecold jawa juice over him. The evil sith lord with the fearfull name: Darth Sniff started to cry and ask for.......

[Darth Darthy]

...a paper towel and a cage with a single gerbil in it. Our Jedi hero was even more unimpressed, withdrew his slightly cheesy lightsabre from under his heavy cloak and...

[Obidobi]

....puked. What an incredible smell of that saber. The sith lord fainted and.....

[Darth Darthy]

...cracked his skull on the bowl. Well, he was dead as was our hero who had been gassed to death. Back in the Jedi Temple Yoda was most disheartened. Actually he was only slightly disheartened because our Jedi Hero was actually a toilet cleaner/Jedi wanna be. Our TRUE Jedi Hero had only just removed his sabre from the 143lbs of Stilton and was...

[Obidobi]

.....returning to the Jedi temple. He got there just in time for the dayly Jane Fonda work out hour. Hark Hark Splutt that was his name, reported to Mace Windu that......

[Darth Darthy]

...Yoda was watching Janes body pulsating, sweating, bobbing up and down, up and down, up - "Shut the *BLEEP!* up you snitching son of a *BLEEP!*. Yoda's old let him watch what he wants. Anyway Jedi Hark Hark, get yo ass in gear we have a problem on..."

[Obidobi]

.... one of the moons of Pussycat. A big peanut is attacking a village of Dassdrauger. These friendly toilett cleaners is asking for our help and since the death of Ahmed........

[Darth Darthy]

...felt obliged to help. Be careful Hark Hark, these peanuts can be hard unless shelled in the correct manner..."

[Obidobi]

...."Yes Master I will" replied Hark Hark Splutt. But again, Watch Yoda, I belive his mind is becoming more and more filthy. The grey side I´ve felt in him......

[Darth Darthy]

...Concerned with thought of Yoda goin' Bad and Pervy, our hero piloted his crimson-white Jedi Star Fighter to the Pussycat System only to be confronted by...

[Obidobi]

... the upper body of Darth Maul. Well not the actual body, but the ghost of his upper body." I´m back for my revenge " he said.
But sadly since he had to use his arms for walking, his lightsaber skills were poor. He ended up sliceing off one of.........

[Darth Darthy]

...a couple of his own horns and his nose. Wheezing, Darth Maul growled, "You will pay for your ignorance young Jedi. Did you really think you were here to extermenate a large peanut? My master will enjoy...erk...ack...ughhhhhhh."
With that, a noseless Darth Maul...

[Obidobi]

.... took a bad step with one of his arm and fell over his blade, chopping of his hatefull tongue." I wuilll guett jo fod thid" he said and disappeared with a.......

[Darth Darthy]

...small chicken that appeared from nowhere. Jedi Hark Hark had over come his first hurdle. Confused by the appearance and subsequent dissaperence of the Chicken and the Sith (now a childrens story published by LucasBooks) he slipped back into his Jedi StarFighter and...

[Obidobi]

....after a couple of lightyears he finaly reached the pussycat system. There he culd see a huge box of peanuts orbiding one of the moons. Not any peanut, but it was Polly peanuts(Norwegian.eating some now) and they were.....

[Darth Darthy]

...exactly like Planter Peanuts but without the multi-national sponsorship/corporation behind it. Luckily they weren't that stong, Jedi Hark Hark knew what had to be done...

[Obidobi]

... He started to eat so many peanuts that he could, but there were too many." I need reinforcement", he said to himself and......

[Darth Darthy]

...reinforcements he got. Jabba and Yoda used to go to school together, ya see and Yoda still owed Jabba an unpaid debt. Jabba flew as quick as his fat ass would allow, exiting on hyperspace he wittnessed the most glorious thing he had ever seen, "Free peanuts...Ho,ho,hooo.", he belowed...

[Obidobi]

.....and started to blurb penuts like hell. He also brought with him a lot of beer. Beer and peanuts was one of Hark Hark´s favourites snacks. All of a sudden They sat together singing It´s a long way to tipperery and Der Junge trinking alcohol jawohl jawohl. This.......

[Darth Darthy]

...brought great pain to the Galaxy, a disterbance in the Force. "Pain.", mumbled Yoda to Mace, "Young Hark Hark is in so much pain...".
Hark Hark burped the burp only a Jedi could, his indegestion gone he felt much relieved. *Ready to finish the job he came here for...

[Obidobi]

... but as so many many times before, a trip to the toilet was needed.(Not again) style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

This time the toilet was free of any danger. Jabba and Bib Fortuna (who suddenly join´s our story), however.......

[Darth Darthy]

...were busy contacting they're "friend", Boba Fart. "Ho ho hooooo",roared the bloated one "A target nnnggh... I have for you Fart. A Jedi to meet your ernnnngh ...skills."
Bib bent over and wipped, Jabba smilled as he finished the message to the hired hand, "Don't lose your head over this bounty hunter, he's just a weak Stilton smelling Jedi."... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif

(This story's getting goooood:))

[Obidobi]

..."As u wish, your fatfullness" Boba Fart replied, and went into his starship Crap 3 1/3 . With the bounty hunter on his way and Jedi Hark Hark on the toilet, Jabba started to.......

[Darth Darthy]

...to push the final pebble. He knew it would be one of those poops that didn't matter how many times you wipped, it just kept on givin'. He smiled at the thought of Bib doing his "dirty" work for him...

[Obidobi]

...... and almost faint because of the bad smell. But Bib has been through this before and........

[Polunis]

reluctantly resigns himself to his unsavory fate. He considers the possibility of purchasing industrial-strength diapers, but...

[Darth Darthy]

...knew he'd be the one to empty the damn thing anyway. Meanwhile...

[Obidobi]

...... our Jedi hero Hark Hark was finished on the toilet. Suddenly he discover: No more paper. What could he do? He.......

[Darth Darthy]

...used his only option. Hark Hark wipped himself on his cloak and left the toilet. He joined Mace, Yoda and another Jedi and made a suggestion, "Lets play the cloak swapping game before this mission begins." They all agreed, Mace swapped with Yoda, Hark Hark with the other Jedi, they all laughed and that was that.
With his clean cloak and new smelly partner Jedi called...

[Obidobi]

...... Puke van der Laden , he went back to the moon of Pussycat for their reward, saving them from the Evil polly peanuts. But Boba Fart that finally made it there,........

[Darth Darthy]

...ready to follow through his plan. And fart. Sometimes. Following the vile odour of Puke van der Laden, Fett cornered his intended victims, raised his FartGun 2000™ and...

[Obidobi]

...... the only thing that came from the gun was: Yes you are absolutly right...... a fart . Hark Hark started to Hark, but Puke van der Laden was used to that kind of discusting smell so.......

[Darth Darthy]

...he savoured it. Puke van der Laden was a Sith all along. He threw his sabre which lopped Boba Farts left leg off...

[Obidobi]

.....and he started to whine and scream for his Mummy. The mummy heard him and came out of a pyramid that all of a sudden revealed it self in the space over the Pussycat moon. Puke van der Laden, now a Sith?,.........

[Darth Darthy]

...looked up towards the sky and was bemused at the awsome sight of a mummy in Trade Federation space. "Once I've finished with Hark Hark I will tax you mummy!", he yelled with a clenched fist. He looked at the equally confused Hark Hark and...

[Obidobi]

.......started to puke all over them. This yellowish green spermalike fludium.........

[Darth Darthy]

...with carrot-like chunks (he didn't have any carrots for lunch though...), dribbled down his chin. "Destroy you I shall!" He gurgled at Hark Hark, who was now covered in chunks. Hark Hark was to quick though, and while the Sith lord was vommiting to death Hark Hark...

[Obidobi]

.... took a quick trip in a rollercoaster in the theme park that suddenly came floating. Then he was looping and spinning around around, and chopped off.......

[Darth Darthy]

...the Sith Lords head. The rollercoaster broke down and gave Hark Hark whiplash. Not only did he kill the evil Sith Lord but he also had a case for the personal injury courts. It was a day to be long remembered, it had seen the end of the Sith and...

[Obidobi]

.... the evil Theme Park going down at the court. The pussycat system where free of both peanuts, sith and theme parks. The Pyramid flied away and the Dassdraugers could have lived happily ever after, if it was´nt for the Teletubbies, but that is another story. The Jedi council........

[Darth Darthy]

...was pleased at this turn of events. The council would recieve the divadends from the court case and spend it on popadums and make Hark Hark a Master.
This peace lasted only 2 and half minutes though, the council summond Hark Hark...

[Obidobi]

.....that really was a Master from before, now became a Mix Master. With his new title he took to himself a new padawan, a padawan with insight in all laws, and went to the supreme court where a newborn sithlord was waiting. This new.....

[Blizzard]

...Jedi Padawan, a dancing hamster...

[Darth Darthy]

...danced far too much for Jedi Master Hark Harks liking. It was almost like a bad web page. So he "accidently" impaled the irritating rodent on his lightsabre. But it didn't die, not just yet...

[Obidobi]

.... oh noooo! He just left with the Chippendales and left our Jedi hero Mix Master Hark Hark Splutt on his own again. This sad event really ......

[Darth Darthy]

...upset Yaddle, the rodent was her secret lover and he was now gone touring the Galaxy. *Mix Master Jedi Hark Hark however, was releived at his turn of events. He was sure to get a more compotent Padawan after his visit to the senate...

[Obidobi]

....where the newborn sith was waiting. Since this sith was newborn, he could not speak a word. He was just lying there babbling and playing with........

[Darth Darthy]

...his spit bubbles. These were no ordinary spit bubbles, oh no. These were Sith spit bubbles with the potency of acid, and one bubble was on it's way to our hero...

[Obidobi]

.... who easily avoided it. This poor newborn sith started to cry. Hark took up his phone a called for Darth Fart......

[Darth Darthy]

...who was currently engaged with a small case of constipation, and after the injuries he substained by the hands of Hark Hark he was in no mood to talk...

[Obidobi]

.....so Hark just had to force push the newborn aaaall the way to the pit of carkoon.Then he took a long wanted vaccation.
Yoda was becoming deeper and deeper into the grey side and.......

[Darth Darthy]

...longed for a vacation himself. With Jane Fonda perhaps. With her supple curves, bouncing up and down, up- "Yoda!", Mace interupted, "we have a problem..."

[Obidobi]

......outside the outerest rim of the outer rim that you possible can imagine. A small shuttle were spotted. It has flag with stars and scratces and carry the name "Inn". We need someone to...........

[Darth Darthy]

...to perform a saftey check and ensure it has no cracks in the fuel line. Becareful Mix Master, I sense a disturbance in my glass of Jedi Juice flavour Kool-Aid™."

[Obidobi]

... But Jedi mix master Hark just sat there with his blue drink with umbrella and everything. No no no, he said. Send someone else.
The yellowish red side I sense in you, Mace replied. Refusing such a important matter.......

[Darth Darthy]

...could be considered very, very naughty indeed. Mace was beginning to wonder if Mix Master was travelling down the dark path. At night. With no street lights or anything...

[Obidobi]

... and Mace was right. Hark was off the water wagon for good.
He got really drunk of the mix of jawa juice, sith poo and some kind of other slimy carrot mixture. When he was leaving the drinking place called "The dark Path" for some rest, he met a priest in the door.The priest said." Young Jedi, you are on the wrong way. Turn before it´s too late."
Ohh! did Hark say and turned around and went back into " The Dark Path".

On the other side of the galaxy, Another.......

[Darth Darthy]

...Jedi down another dark path from another pub called the "Dark Path" sensed a fellow "Dark Pather". His name was Son...

[Obidobi]

...and holy Gokou who was ba.... into oblivion by his old master........

[Darth Darthy]

This new threat revealed, Yoda awoke from meditation, "2 there are now, Master Windu. From nowhere, these Sith keep popping up."
"Shut the *BLEEP* up little green man! I'm almost on level 6 here!", retorted Mace while playing his brand new spangly GameCube, "Why don't you get off yo wrinkly green butt instead of telling us what to do all the time. Damn, I died cause of you!"
With that Yoda...

[Obidobi]

...Took a long vaccation, Not with Jane Fonda, who was´nt availible. No, he contacted Britney, who was more than willing to.......

[Darth Darthy]

...rub sensual oils into the wrinkle and cracks of Yodas tiny body. She massaged him and informed him that for only $2.99 she would perform a special service...

[Obidobi]

.......Really? replied Yoda. Then I want scramble eggs for breakfast after the massage every day all my vaccation. Later that day........

[Darth Darthy]

...after Britney performed her service, a service to rude to be explained in detail on a PG forum, Yoda had a smile on his face as wide as his oddly-shaped head would allow. Hed decided to lighten up and....

[Obidobi]

....let go of the grey side. Vaccations can really make the diffrent. Then after the fifth time, Yoda was running after Britney repeating "I mean you no harm" , "I mean you no harm" , he suddely stops. A new disturbance in the force came to him.........

[Darth Darthy]

...Boba Fart was back! And with a new ally to exact his revenge upon Mix Master Hark. His new warrior partner was none other than...

[Obidobi]

..... the Mummy. This old and ancient dark lord was back for his revenge. Filled with the absolute power of the pink side of the force he........

[Darth Darthy]

...was empowered by the Pink Side*. Jedi Mix Master Hark Hark and his Padawan were off on a new adventure, an adventure so foul, so disgusting that only the minds of Obidobi and Darthy were capable of comprehending it...(where's Polunis eh?)...

*The Pink Side is © Obidobi Industries, any unauthorised use is strictly prohibited. You will be sued.

Act 1. Scene 2.5.................

[Obidobi]

Jedi Mix Master Hark Hark Splutt was instructing his new padawan, Luuke the Duke, in how to clean toilets, when Yaddle came through the.....


Where are all the other members? Are Darthy and Obidobi the only members with childish, sick, and filthy minds?

[Darth Darthy]

...hole at the bottom of the toilet. Covered in raw peanuty-corn-like poop she spoke in her strange backwards accent: "Hmm, corny my life has become, as if written by a bunch of fools... Anyway, Boba Fart has a shipment of illicit spice-smoking-depresants, smok-ummm,erm, inspect these spices Master Yoda would like."
Hurry, go to the Riche Maze Mix Master, find these spices...

[Obidobi]

...and bring them to me. Mention this to another living soul you shall not. I´s only mine, Hear do you? MINE! But Master Yaddle, what is going on with you? I sense.....

[Darth Darthy]

..."evil within you. NO! Wait! It's...it's...Love, it is. Love me, you do. With all of your green heart."
"NOOOOOOOOO!", yelled Yaddle, "Your not my Father!!"
"Wrong film, fool.", mumbled Yoda,
"Correct, you are", replied Yaddle, "I love you Yoda. But your secret spice addiction, killing you it is. Your only twelve but you look a hundred. What will you tell your next student? That 900 years old you are, look as good they will not?!?"
Yoda said the firdt thing that came to his mind...

[Obidobi]

..." Meditate on this matter I will", Yoda said. Suddenly Mace came in the door. WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!!! The grand master and his fellow species doing this type of things. I think we must bring you to the honorable senator Jar.......

[Darth Darthy]

"...Jam, brother to Jam Jar, uncle to Blueberry Jam and mother to Jar Jar. He will explain everything down to the most minute detail..."

*P.S. Ha ha haaaw. Take a look in "General Star Wars>Does Age matter?" thread. Haa haaa haaaaw. I really am that funny. *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/happy.gif

[Obidobi]

....along with his uncle´s sister´s cousin´s dog, the old and ancient Pearl Strawberry jelly jam, who.......

[Darth Darthy]

...was actually a distant relation to Chewbacca. But that's another trilogy...
Anyhoo, Darth Hark Hark was causing chaos throughtout the RimRim of the outer Rim, a place where only people who lived In the Rim of the Most Outer Rim knew of. He was...

[Obidobi]

...attacking the small shuttle, with star and scratces on the side, with the name Inn , that already had a fuel leakage, that was in deep $hit, that could have blown up, like the other, that.......

[Darth Darthy]

...shuttle that we won't name cause it actually happend and people died. (and I can't remember the name of it). This Shuttle looked a lot like a flying...

[Obidobi]

....Batman,but it was´nt. It was really a big Alien Donut that took a wrong turn in the roundabout behind the dark side of......

[Darth Darthy]

...Uranus (well come on, it hasn't been mentioned yet). The Shuttle was called "Inn" and was travelling far to close to Uranus. The Jedi had to do something otherwise the Shuttle would be Inn Uranus. Something had to be done....

[Obidobi]

.... with Uranus. It was all too smelly and full of.....




(I got that one :p )

[Darth Darthy]

...(dang you really did get me there...)full of, full of... um, well Uranus is full of $hit, but we'll go with gas. Don't want to be banned style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif . Luuke the Jedi had his nose full, how could he avoid bad puns AND bad smells at the same time (while still avoiding Darth Hark Hark)...

[Obidobi]

... Well he just had to improvise. He set his killer droid to deal with the shuttle full of gas, and took care of Darth Hark with the gas from the shuttle in Uranus. He was......

[Polunis]

overjoyed at the propitious turn of events, but he came down with a bad case of hemmorrhoids. In the depths of his agony...

[Darth Darthy]

...he saw the light. Well, actually he saw a tube of Anusole, the Galaxy's most powerful butt relief cream. Unfortuantely it was in the hands of...

[Obidobi]

.....Pearl strawberry jelly jam, who was out of our story, so it was no chance to get his hands of this agony killer cream. The only way.........

[Darth Darthy]

...he was going to rid himself of this affliction was to operate himself. Using his lightsabre he carfully cut around the hemorrhoids. Thankfully the lightsabre quarturized his anus, so no stitches were required. He would now throw these soggy yet deadly heamorroids at his arch enemy at the first chance he got...

[Obidobi]

... , But who was his arch enemy? Jedi Luuke the Duke was just introduced! This was a mystery that needed resolvement. Could it be Zurg? No that was the enemy of Buzz Lightyear. Could it be.......

[Darth Darthy]

...the incredibly evil, almost so frightening Luuke could barely think about it, terrible, psychotic Master of All Siths - obidobi?...

[Obidobi]

... Yes! The cruel and ugly Darth Obidobi. The master of the masters that used the evilpinkside of the force. He was accused of many evil things. But the most cruel thing he ever done was stealing the color of Blizzard from time to time.He......

[Darth Darthy]

...he was so empowered by the pink side that he emenated pure concentrated pink. A pink so vile that anyone who stared into the pinkness would...

[Obidobi]

....instantly be overfilled with joy and get a mind that was so filthy that the only one to be more filthy could only be his master over all the other colors of the force: The one the only DARTH DARTHY, who was......

[Darth Darthy]

...sooooooooo soooooooooo powerfull that he burst. But not before handing down his immense knowledge, sauve sophistication, and tireless wit to his friend and fellow Force wielder, Obidobi...

[Obidobi]

.... who has recently converted, and become a sith jedi lord. The power of the pink side was soooo evil that no one could be safe. The toilet humor is taking over and nobody can stop it. Now together they......

[Darth Darthy]

...they will march on to the Jedi Temple on Corruscantly and destroy all forms of toilet paper. The Jedi will be lost, confused and quite itchy...

[Obidobi]

....especially in their " bottoms "( I use that word since this board is containing kids that can be offended of another word that I´m not going to use because..... Well enough of this).
The Jedi tried to escape the wrath of Darth Darthy and His companion Darth Obidobi, but the toilet houmor was so strong that.......

[darth covington]

after the council loses the tissue and toilet they despratly searched for there tissue they scratch continusly that convinces the senate to create a TOILET ARMY equipped with it's new supply of toilet tissue but a new menacing force(the megenta side) see's this and poisens the tissue with...

[Darth Darthy]

..."A serious problem this...is. Erg.", Moaned Yoda. Indeed it was more perilous than anybody imagined, the narritive was completely confused. Regardless, the itching went on, every time someone would "slip a sly one by", residue would project from the anal-beardage causing many deaths. These deaths were labeled "Death-by-poo-flake-at-lightspeed", and were becomming the bane of the Corruscantly. Our Sith Lords were pleased...

[Obidobi]

.....and took upon themselfes a new apprentice, with the fearfull name Darth Covington that without any reason at all join our smelly story. Maybe he found it......

[Darth Darthy]

...not by accident but throught fate. Darth Covington was eager to show his skills to his new lords and decided to...

[Obidobi]

.... add some filthy stuff to our story. Lets hope our two pinky dark lords did´nt scare him away with their smelly......

[Darth Darthy]

...fingers. Their fingers smelt foul, so foul that one sniff could induce a fit of vomiting for hours, leading to a carroty death. For some unknown reason the smell was very similar to...

[Obidobi]

.... the body smell of Jabbas, mothers, cousins, uncles, sisters ,dads rancor. It was so.....

[Darth Darthy]

...difficult to get though. Well, it would be if they had not been masters of the pink side and didn't mind sticking their fingers up the rancors...

[Obidobi]

...... smelly evil trolls eye. This ruined our shoes and killed the fearfull beast.
Gaining more and more powers, our hero´es path to ......

[Darth Darthy]

...the pink side was complete. Soon Yoda would pay dearly for speaking in such stupid prose, soon they would make sushi from his ears and...

[Obidobi]

... the toilet army was wiped out with a swift stroke. Yoda fled to a stinky planet and started a sushi bar and.....

[Darth Darthy]

...and cried. A lot. Our evil Sith Lords weren't finished with him yet, they opened the "Super Special Sith Sushi Bar" and undercut all of Yoda's prices sending his business...

[Obidobi]

... down the dumpster of their own super sith special sushi bar called " The Dark Path", Where the now very old and drunken before a jedi mix master, Hark Hark Splutt sat in one of.....

[Darth Darthy]

...the dark boothes in a smokey backroom. Slumped over his drink dribbling something about a Mummy and Sith Lord, he let out a loud burp. The Dark Paths' bouncer was not happy at having such a drunkard in this family drinking establishment so...

[Obidobi]

...he drank his hole family. First he put them all in a blender, then he drank them. The bouncer was now without a family and....

[Darth Darthy]

...went crazy. On reflection he relized that to drink ones own family is not only unthinkable but completely irrational. He decided to end his pointless exsistence by putting himself in a blender and drinking himself, all the while the patrons of the Dark Path watching on...

[Obidobi]

...., clapping their fluffers and cheering loudly. The Teletubbies and Buzz lightyear was joining him in the blender, so it became a mix of stupidness and plastic along with.....

[Darth Darthy]

...a very old lady who used a cane to walk. Hark Hark smilled and burped again. He felt the force flowing through his big toe and knew he might have a chance at destroying the 2 Sith that had taken control of the Galaxy by means of toilet paper oppression...

[Obidobi]

... but he was wrong. He did´nt know the power of the pink side. These two Evil filthy dark lords of the pink sithing bulls, where far to powerfull for the drunken old mix master. He probably should have joined the teletubbies in the blender, and got drunken by the bouncer. but that was of course impossible, since they were not related at all. Instead he.....

[Darth Darthy]

...stood up, farted and left the bar. He decided to travel to the Rim of the Outer Rim where he could be trained in the arts of Drunken Boxing. Perhaps he would enter a contest or two, win some money and retire...

[Polunis]

however, he decided thought better of it since Social Security was such a mess. Besides, he needed some...

[Darth Darthy]

...Stella&reg; Flavoured beer to begin drunken boxing. He didn't have any so he scrapped the idea. While floating aimlessly around the outer rim of the Outer Rim he came across...

[Obidobi]

....another drinking place. He went in and ordered a Stella flavoured beer. The place where crowded of all the thinkable and unthinkable species.
Suddenly a beautiful young lady human came running into the bar. She started Yelling." Have anybody seen Mike Hunt? I´looking for Mike Hunt. Someone has taken Mike Hunt!. The old and drunken Mix master came to her and said: I would love to see your cu... Hmmmm help you to find.....

[Polunis]

"...Mr. Hunt." She grows exceedingly indignant at his glaring incompetence. "Look here, punk. I don't need any of your knavery!" She picks up the barstool and swings....

[Obidobi]

...it around and around and starts to dance with it. Then she says, I´m not looking for "Mr. Hunt". I´m looking for Mike Hunt. Someone has...... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif

[Polunis]

hit his speeder causing considerable body damage, so I think you ought to help me out or...

[Darth Darthy]

I'll slap you in the face with a rare yet deadly Hairy Fish. :0 So hairy and yet deadly are these fish that...

[Polunis]

their hairs clog up your arteries. As you can tell, it is not a pleasant affair to come into contact with them. Besides, if the hair doesn't kill you, then you can always count on the flesh-eating fungus that grows on its side to take you down. Now, are you...

[Darth Darthy]

...gonna screw with one of these hairy yet deadly fish?!? I thought not, but our stupid retired Jedi drunkard did. That's where it all went really, really really wrong...

[Polunis]

and now I have nightmares about these fish; however, I am not afraid to use them. What's it going to be, punk?

[Darth Darthy]

..."I couldn't care less about Mike Hunt or his damned speeder. What, you gonna slap me in the face with that hairy yet deadly fish? Well....?"

[Polunis]

"You asked for it, punk!" Thwack! "How do you like that?" style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/devil.gif

[Darth Darthy]

"Ow!", he mumbled. "OOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW, HOLY BANTHA S style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif !!!" he yelled.
The fish was even more deadly then he had expected, he was now dead. Deader than he could ever had expected... *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/skullwink.gif

[Polunis]

...so he proved all the grumpier the next morning. Now that she made it clear she meant business, an awkward silence falls upon the room. All eyes are trained on her. Suddenly, ...

[Obidobi]

..... Obidobi came back from his vaccation and started to post again. He was sunburned and had a biiiiiiig hangover so....

[Darth Darthy]

...he brushed his shoulders covering the woman in flakes of dry skin while spontainously vomiting his hangover over her. She dropped the hairy yet deadly fish...

[Obidobi]

..... into a toilet bowl nearby. Then the drunken mix master suddenly came back from the dead and..... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif

[Darth Darthy]

...kicked ass using his drunken boxing skills. After a frenzied minute of Hong Kong Kung Fu style action he looked up; the entire bar was dead. Not only had he died a Dark Jedi drunkard, he had regained life and killed 37 people in a bar. Even the entertainer, Stripping Polunis lay...

[Obidobi]

....slayed in a corner. "I knew watching all that bad hong kong movies would pay off some day", He says. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/saber.gif Outside the bar "The dark path" a huge........ style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/flirt.gif

[Darth Darthy]

...pubic hair was released from the wrist of bounty hunter Boba Fart, wrapping around our Desceased Darkside Drunk. He was completely stuck and would have to rely on...

[Obidobi]

...... his stinking hemoroidfilled and sithpoofilled trolls eye. It had helped him against these kinds of hair before. He pumped it up so it almost exploded, then he opened up the "evil eye" and.......

[Darth Darthy]

...squirted the acidic juice of his eye on Boba Farts arm, melting it into a puddle of mush at his feet. "Eeek!", squeaked Fart, "I'm melting, I'm melting! What a world..."
Released from the tight grip of the pube, Mix Master Hark Hark would now join forces with the Flakey-Pukey-Powers of Obidobi and...

[Obidobi]

... and his companion Darth Darthy on their journey towards a filthy story and a couple of laughs.Since Mike Hunt disapeard they.... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/scratchchin.gif

[Darth Darthy]

...had a new investiagtion to investigate. The banning of Polunis... :0

[Obidobi]

..... is a big mystery and need resolvment.Darthy was the chief investigator and started to investigate immidiately. Was he taken by Fart before he melted or....

[Darth Darthy]

...the investigation would never had been finished. After 2 hours of waiting for a reply from Smeghead he still had no answer or idea what was going on. He attepted to use MSN only to be told it was too busy, after a while he tried again. Only to find Polunis didn't actually have MSN messanger...
He was starting to get pissed off............. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/banghead.gif

[Obidobi]

....and sent the investigation over to Obidobi who instantly asked Tovor. While waiting for an answer he......

[Darth Darthy]

...played with his testicles pondering why people were being banned on such a regular basis...

[Obidobi]

.....When finished playing, he starts to let the pink side of the force flow through him and......

[Darth Darthy]

...and smiled the smile only a relieved man could smile... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sly.gif

[Obidobi]

.... when the true story about Polunis came to an end. Well well, life must go on and so must also our story. It was a dark time in the galaxy not so far away and a very short time ago. The........

[Darth Darthy]

...New Republic was facing a new, yet pink menace. Darth Hark Hark had risen from the dead. Once a Jedi Mix Master, he was now a drunken boxing Pinkside Warrior. One who would stop at nothing to control the Galaxy and the Galactic Senate Forum...

[Obidobi]

... He took upon himself a apprentice and called him Darth Snot. He had a big runny nose and ........

[Darth Darthy]

...an irregularly large left eyeball devoid of an eyelid. Hence he couldn't blink. Ever. His running nose and deformed eye gave Darth Snot a menacing air about him...

[Obidobi]

.... , He could´nt only force choke and do that kind of silly stuff. Oh no , he could also give everybody closer than 50 meters a very very bad and pukeing flu. The victims of this snuffy dark lord ......

[Darth Darthy]

...would erupt in a mass explosion of vomit. Soon he would travel to Coruscant and to the seat of the Newishy Republic. Soon the senators would pay dearly...

[Obidobi]

..... for their ignorance. Their stupid medicin was no match for Darth Hark Hark and his snotty apprentice. Snot gave them a couple of sneezes and waved with his handkerchief so.........

[Darth Darthy]

...Senator Chiztinhispantz did something in his pants. It smelled. Very bad indeed.
"Eeuurgh!", proclaimed Obidobi,
"It smells like you did a shi... in yer pantaloons there Senator", yelled Obidobi, ensuring the rest of the Senate would hear...

[Anti-pink Jedi Pants]

Darth Major Willy intervened "I vow to distroy all pink jedi, I am a Master Bater of the mauve side of the force"

[Darth Darthy]

"You may be the Master of Bater, but you will, never BEAT Us!!!!!!"

[Obidobi]

..Nothing could compare with the pink side so no other color will not stand a chance. Darth Hark Hark and his apprentice Darth Snot sent over a black banana (that reasontly fell out of senator Chiztinhispants pants) and.......

[Darth Darthy]

...slapped it in Major Willy's face. The nutty-corn texture gave it away - this was no banana...

[Obidobi]

...noooo! It was a big brown "cable" sent directly from the senators trolls eye and ......

[Darth Darthy]

...and killed Major Willy instantly. The Senate watched on in horror, what the hell was happening to their beloved Senate? The entire Senate Hall was covered in the corny...

[Obidobi]

.... bæsj. The smell was incredible and The Darths was overfilled with joy. They need a couple of toilet cleaners now meesa thinks, Darth Snot said. The senators.....

[Darth Darthy]

...began to turn green. And then it began; the chain of vomitting spread from one senator to another, the smell was attrocious. Darth Snot smiled and...

[Darth Darthy]

...wondered what had happend to Obidobi. Did he commandeer his cruise ship and crash it into a large piece of ice, otherwise known as an iceberg? Perhaps he got drunk as usual but this time fell overboard taking the captain with him, leaving the ship to float lost forever in the north sea...

[Obidobi]

.... No he just had so many other things on his scedule that he was not able to post so much, until Tuesday. Then he will be back on the ship and..... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/joystick.gif

[Darth Darthy]

...Darth Snot was not pleased. His old master was comming back soon, Darth Snot knew - in order to be the most powerfull Pink Jedi he would have to kill his old master Jedi Obidobi of the Pink Side. Then the Galaxy would be his.

Maybe.

[Obidobi]

.... but even Darth Snot knew that to kill the most powerfull pink jedi of them all would be impossible. That could´nt be done, so.........

[Javen]

He meditated awile until he fell asleep and had a dream
from..........

[Darth Darthy]

...his sleep. He saw a young, 20 something blonde, she was neked.

Obidobi awoke, pealed his pants away and thought to himself;
"Could this new threat, Darth Snot be a blonde Swedish National, who could speak fluent Noreegise?"... :scratchchin:

[Obidobi]

Darn! It was only a dream. A very wet dream it was.But no sweedish could speak fluently Norwegish so it had to be a dream. He......

[Darth Darthy]

...broke wind while he thought. It did no good. No thoughts had come to mind. But he remembered - he had something to do. Like kill Darth Snot (who was not a blonde Swedish naked lady who could speak Norwaygeese)...

[Obidobi]

....Obidobi suddenly entered the story and killed Darth Snot. Just because he was spreading the flue everywhere. This could not go on, so he just wiped him out and went back to his business on the ship. He was back.......

[Darth Darthy]

...just in time for Sithy Tea Cakes and Stella Flavoured beer. Having defeated his foe, Obidobi relaxed, lit a deathstick and broke wind. He knew soon though, a new threat would befall the Pink Side and he was the only protector capable of defending the Galaxy. Which Obidobi renamed "The Big Place" after taking control....

[Obidobi]

... of the "Big place".
Having a hell of a party an singing "Der junge trinking alcohol jawohl jawohl", he was not aware of the new danger arising. He.......

[Darth Darthy]

... heard a noise.
*Brrrrrpppppp*, came the reply from his stomach.

it was his lunch. He had too much Stella Flavoured Beer the previous night and far too many deathsticks. He felt dizzy and had a watery mouth.

The evil within was about to arise....

[Obidobi]

..... but there could´nt be his lunch since that was so long ago. No it must have been something else. He heard some strange noise from the Toilet . Was it the big and cruel septicnisse that was back? Or was it......

[Darth Darthy]

...the shell fish he had eaten earlier. He thought they were a bit sour...

[Obidobi]

.... and his fingers smelled like prawns. Maybe he put all of his eleven fingers where it should not have been?.....

[Darth Darthy]

...then again, perhaps he put them right where they should have been... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Obidobi]

..... Anyway, he was fed up with the most. He went to the toilet and......

[Darth Darthy]

...became a Sith. it was a strong piss no doubt about that. But the odour was potent enough to make Obidobi see the light. There was no light. Only dark. Soon he would rule the Galaxy with an apprentice, one he would call....

[Obidobi]

.....Darth Darthy. But he was no apprentice. They where equal. The way to rule in the galaxy was now declared open by the queen and........

[Darth Darthy]

....would soon tremble at their feet. Nay, their toe nails. The Galaxy of the Senate would bow before them both, in awe at their magnificance. Soon, they would defeat the final hurdle, soon they would destroy the mod known as...T

[Obidobi]

oilet cleaner. (We know who!) . The Jedi was crushed and the toilet cleaners was cleaning all toilets! What could they do? They started to annoy everybody who.....

[Darth Darthy]

...burst into an annoying but shortlived rash.

"Master Obidobi.", replied Darthy the Drunk. "Perhaps it's time we went to a Cantina, if for nothing else other than to annoy it's patrons."

"Yeeeeessss, I feel the urge to drink many Stella/Grolsch Flavoured beverages and pinch the bottom of that Clara chick. You never know eh?...."

Darthy nodded in agreement.

[Obidobi]

And together they went to the cantina just for fun, just to annoy and to get drunk eat bad prawns. Filled with evil in all colors they......

[Tovor]

...began slowly caressing each others chest pecs, and kissing passionately. Perhaps they had drank too much, or perhaps they were just getting started before...

[Obidobi]

... Tovor kept on hallucinat even more! The sad Mod was really suffering from glaucoma since he......

[Darth Darthy]

...had smoked that last deathstick. His parents always told him it would come back to haunt him.

Tovor awoke with a...

[Obidobi]

.... grin on his face, since someone put a huge......

[Darth Darthy]

....I can't finish that Obidobi. You trying to get me banned?!?

[Obidobi]

(No I´m not trying to get u banned Darthy.)Then I will continue.

.....jar of bad garlic prawns beside him. Tovor was filled with joy, because now he could eat to his trolls eye begged for mercy. He started to .......

[Darth Darthy]

...convulse in spasms of pleasure. Only these were "special" prawns from Sainsburys that cost the equivalent of $9 and were meant to be garlicy. Instead they were deadly...

[Obidobi]

.... and filled with Hunter juice that was ......

[Darth Darthy]

...potent enough to kill a large planet....

[Obidobi]

... Suddenly a young and naive kid tried to disrupt the famous Sith meisters. He would know better......

[Darth Darthy]

..if it weren't for the fact that God had sent him on this mission. Where's the nearest church? "Praise Jeeeezzuzzzzzz Keeeer-isssssst!"

[Obidobi]

... Who? Sent by who? The famous Sithmeister Obidobi had no clue what was going on. He......

[Darth Vegas]

.......went to investigate this, but then he had to take a dump. He reached the bathroom only to remember that there is no more toilet paper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So he.............

[Darth Darthy]

..he wiped himself on his lightsabre. What happended next was not a pretty pretty...

[Obidobi]

.... sight. The dump of Obidobi was so evil that the lightsaber exploded. There was nothing else to do than use the onehoundred and eleven trick on the wall. He.......

[Darth Darthy]

...he wiped his ass 111 times on the wall, left the toilet with a smile but slightly ichy ass. He would have to go buy something to clean the corn from his anal beardage...

[Obidobi]

.... and 3 of his fingers.He needed to find some paper quickly. The smell was awesome and.......

[Darth Darthy]

...had a power over people. As he walked to Toilet-Paper R' Us, he waved his fingers in peoples faces. Causing them to die. He chose Sithy-Smooth Andrex, wiped and left to continue his mission...

[Obidobi]

in the galaxy. It seemed like everybody wanted to throw him out of it. But the pinkside of the force helped him again. All of his enemy´s gathered together in a last try to.......

[Darth Darthy]

...kill obidobi with a huge group hug and many, many Bibles...

[Obidobi]

..... but did they manage it.! Nope! He was to powerfull and evil. Anyway it was them who made him like this. He used to be a peaceful father of two boys and a jedi. Now he was a monster who didn´t........

[Darth Darthy]

...eat his greens and wiped his butt with his fingers. Soon they would all pay...

[Obidobi]

... for their ignorance. He was all evil now and liked it.They.....

[Darth Darthy]

...would soon be his *****es. There was no doubt about that...

[Obidobi]

. Darth Darthy and Darth Obidobi went to their private chambers, and ordered some room service and some....

[Darth Darthy]

...pu style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif y. After the "entertainment" had finished they demanded food.
The spice was flowered and bud-ridden, the beer Stalla-ish (5% or more) and the "entertainment" was "entertaining". The food was the best...

[Obidobi]

.... at home. But at home there was not possible to get any. So he had to go another place to get rid of his hungryness. That was a big mistake.........

[Darth Darthy]

...because McDonalds said it was a restaurant. Or so the sign outside read. It lied. This so called McBurger was mostly gristle and brain. Obidobi grew angry with the staff, they insisted it was 100% beef...

[Obidobi]

... but it was not. Obidobi was so angry that he slicede the staff into small pieces, and started to make his own burgers after an ancient sith recipy. This was.......

[Darth Darthy]

...considered grotesque by most of the fat customers, one particularly fat woman in a corner regurgitated her SuperMegaMcCrapBurger. On her fat son.
Obidobi was an accomplished Sith Chef and had 12 special herbs and spices that made his McDonalds Staff Burger finger lickin'...

[Obidobi]

....nose picking best tasting in the hole wide toilet in this ship. There is nothing like a s(H)itburger made by a sith. Darthy......