Star Wars Ponderables

[Jawa Juice]

Okay here is kinda like a game but not.... Ill start...

Give a reasonable answer to the question, and make up your own.



What is the politically correct name for african americans in the Galaxy?

[Rogue_0009]

Dark skinned humans

If Yoda was 900 why didn't he take the time to take a few grammar lessons?

[Handothrawn]

They wouldn't allow any of those damned Greens into school with the regular people.

If a planet's gravity is enough to pull a ship out of hyperspace, why is everyone afraid of bouncing into a star?

[Obitwokenobi]

Stars are so dense that they have a smaller gravity field (Making this all up)

How did JarJar survive for ten years between TPM and AotC?

[Jawa Juice]

Put him in a padded room


Why do storm troopers where such elaberate armor, and get they die with one good shot of the blaster.

[Jacen Solo]

The armor is really only plastic, but no one is telling.

What is the Ewok death toll from falling from trees?

[Handothrawn]

Not very high, most have an impervious layer of fur and fat surrounding their bodies.

How come there are no superheroes in the GFFA, I mean New York alone has the Avengers, Spiderman, the Fantastic Four, and Daredevil.

[Marbleman]

Originally posted by Luuke_Skywalker@Apr 30 2003, 01:57 AM
What is the Ewok death toll from falling from trees?
here! arm yourselves with knowledge. EWOK HOLOCAUST (http://www.theforce.net/swtc/holocaust.html)

down with the rebellion! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/satisfied.gif

[Rogue_0009]

Because the GFFA has the jedi do that sort of thing.

Why do all the Imperial officers have British accents if its set in outer space?

[Jawa Juice]

Cuz it happened a long time ago, brittan is still taxing the galaxy

Does sideous take show's with his hood on?

[Master Patton]

Only when he feel's like he's in the dark...

Why do they call them strike foils?

[Javen]

because they're what you hit when someone is mad.

Why does Death Star have that trench around it?

[Jawa Juice]

Storm troppers! get it storm troppers, Nazi's trenches... okay im juss gonna stop talking.

How come Droids juss work by being welded and dont need to be wired togather?

[Obitwokenobi]

They drink lots of caffeine so they're already wired.
The Noghri are so cool... Why are they only in the Thrawn trilogy?

[Rogue_0009]

You are mistaken they make many cameo's and guest appeareances in other novels.

[Jacen Solo]

Because anyone who refers to Princess Leia as "Lady Vader" is not worthy of a huge part.

Why was Amidala suddenly able to get up and say "let's go!" after several minutes of groaning in pain on a sand dune?

[Jawa Juice]

because "Love will keep her alive"

How does the same actor play padme` in epsiode I as a 14 year old girl then a few years later play a 24 year old woman in episode II?

[KMdigital]

Wearing chest supressors under costume in the first episode, then magically growing boobs in the next via costumes that "push up".

Do you think the sash made of wookie hair boba fett wears is Chewey's father? Do you think Boba would confront chewie and point to his sash saying "Chewie, this is your father"?

[Obitwokenobi]

No. No.


Who is Sifo-Dyas?

[Javen]

He's my grandpa.

How did Luke know where Yoda would be on Dagobah?

[Clara]

He watched Big Brother and noted the travel path.

Why does Janson and Hobbie always (most of the time) seem to turn up together? I mean, they were in the same movie, the X-wing books...

[Rogue_0009]

Because they're good friends.

Why is it, that in the films we almost never see Lando and Luke talk to each other?

[Count Dookie]

^Because they were lovers and they were trying to keep it in the closet.

[Count Dookie]

oh yeah...the next question. Why don't Luke and Leia get disgusted after they realize they are kin that they had smooched like lovers.

[Javen]

Because she knew Luke was gay after findin out about him and Lando.


When the shield station blows up, how do the heroes nearby survive the explosion? And why isn't there a big forest fire?

[Obitwokenobi]

The heroes are wearing asbestos, and the Endor moon has rare asbestos trees.

Where is Dash Rendar now?

[Jawa Juice]

In jamaca with tupac and biggie

How do Huts reproduce?

[Handothrawn]

Actually that one does have an answer, they're asexual.

How did Luke not sense a trap on Endor, before Chewie grabbed the dead animal?

[James]

Well how did Obi-Wan know where to find Luke when he was attacked by the Tuskens on Tatooine??

[JediKeri.]

Because Obi-wan lived out there and was always keeping an eye on Luke.

Why does Wes Janson play pranks?

[Obitwokenobi]

He is wearing a thong, and that makes him feel bitter.

Where is Jar Jar now?

[Obidobi]

He is at the toilet, taking a dump.....

Why didn't the Rancor have any balls hanging underneath ....?

[Obitwokenobi]

It was neutered.

Is there any truth to the rumor that Leia is pregnant with Jabba Solo?

[Ikrit]

Yes, they were twins and she changed their names to Jacen and Jaina so Han wouldn't notice.

Why is George Lucas not making a third trilogy?

[maddog62]

He is wearing a thong, and that makes him feel bitter.

Where is Jar Jar now?


I hear that he wears it backwards and it still covers everythng up.

[Obidobi]

Originally posted by maddog62@Jun 4 2003, 07:39 PM


Where is Jar Jar now?



Just finished taking a dump, and on his way out of the toilet...!



Where is Ryzall ?

[glenmcg]

Wiping jar jar's arse

Why does Cammie give Luke a dirty look in the Star wars cut scenes?

[Jedi D'oh]

She's still upset about that fiasco between Luke, Fixer, Biggs, and that Tusken chick.

Why wasn't Tank at the Rebel Base with Biggs?

[Obidobi]

He overslept........


How does Padme die...?

[glenmcg]

She's a bit randy when Anakin goes away to kill jedi and has an accident with his Lightsaber in bed.

how many clones does it take to change a light bulb?

[Lord Rocha]

None. They cant change a light bulb.

Why Leia never wears decent clothes ?

[Obidobi]

She wants Luke to have the hots for her...... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

Did Han Solo like donuts....(o)(o)..?

[Lord Rocha]

I dont think so....he had an accident with a donut when he was young.

Why Shimi claims Anakin has no father ?

[Count Dookie]

Because there were too many men to know for sure who was the daddy.

Why doesn't Beru talk much in ATOC?

[Obidobi]

Because she has ugly teeth, and lisp....

Who is the father of Gardulla the Hutt..?

[jaymanchu]

Originally posted by Javen@May 12 2003, 12:43 AM
How did Luke know where Yoda would be on Dagobah?
He used the force!

How can a metalic robot (C3P0) who can barely grasp anything with his hands, fall about 100 feet and grab onto a flying giant robot, hanging on with just his fingertips?

[jaymanchu]

Originally posted by Obidobi@Jun 6 2003, 01:53 AM
Because she has ugly teeth, and lisp....

Who is the father of Gardulla the Hutt..?
Pizza the Hut.

Why do we not see any more of the species from the Cantina scene other than maybe Hammerhead?

[Mothman]

Because the costumes were borrowed.




At the very beginning of ANH when the Tantive IV was being attacked as it flew over Tatooine, how come Vader didn't sense that Obi-Wan was on the planet?

[Obidobi]

Because Obi-Wan was at the toilet at that time, and the smell covered him......

Why didn't Qui Gon disappear...?

[Obitwokenobi]

Originally posted by maddog62@Jun 4 2003, 10:39 AM
He is wearing a thong, and that makes him feel bitter.

Where is Jar Jar now?
^Looks like a familiar post...


QG didn't disappear because he's going commando.

What does that have do to with anything?

[Obidobi]

Everything............!

What was the color of padme's underwear in AOTC...?

[Obitwokenobi]

Unapplicable. She was going commando, too.

Did Hayden know this?

[Obidobi]

No way...He didn't get that far.....


Will he ever know? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/w00t.gif

[Obitwokenobi]

Maybe. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif


Will Obi-wan?

[Obidobi]

Yes, cause he is the one who takes it off when the twins are born....(and keeps it as .... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif hmm well....? )


Who is born first...?
Luke or Leia ?

[Obitwokenobi]

Leia. Her name is first alphabetically. Plus, she is infinitely more mature than Luke in Ep. IV.


How come she is so much more mature when she should only be a few hours or so older?

[Obidobi]

Girls mature earlier than boys.....It's the same all over the world....sad but true....! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif


Did Jabba and Gardulla having an affair...? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wub.gif

[Obitwokenobi]

No! They're both gay!

-------------------------------------------------

Who did Jar Jar have an affair with?

[Obidobi]

Jarina Jarina Bonks



Why is it so easy to get banned at Starwars.com...?

[bluemilk]

because the employees get paid by bounty! It's not a job it's a sport style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hehe.gif

What was so wrong with Oolas dancing that she deserved being tossed down into the pit as Rancor bait?

[Obidobi]

The dancing was okey, but she didn't strip....like she was ordered to..... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hehe.gif

Did Boba have an affair with Ryzall....?

[Obitwokenobi]

No. With Mara Jade.
--------------------------------
Who enjoyed it more?

[Obidobi]

Luke Skywalker....cause she was fully "trained" when she came to him...... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif


Did the "frog like" creature outside Jabba's palace enjoy it's meal...?

[Obitwokenobi]

Yes.

---------------------------

In what manner?

[Obidobi]

Because it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif and sometimes it style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif Jabba's dog....


Is there a traitor in the jedi council?

[bluemilk]

it depends greatly on one's own point of view style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/hehe.gif

What kind of soup was Yoda making for dinner when Luke crashed his pad?

[Obidobi]

It was a soup made of snake snot, with extra boogers.... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blink.gif


Why didn't Vader take the name..."Darth Stepvader"...?

[felix]

Because with the force it is do-or-do-not - there are no halves.

Do droids have a messiah figure?

[Obitwokenobi]

Yes.

---------------------------

Who?

[Obidobi]

The one.....the only.......Obidobi


Why...?

[Jawa Juice]

actually i heard they were athiest...who knows

Why didnt John Shaft use his lightsaber?

[Obitwokenobi]

It was shorted out because of some "liquid".

---------------------------------------------------------------

Who did the droids sacrifice to Obidobi on Endor?

[Handothrawn]

A hermaphroditic monkey.
______________________

Where would Ewoks find a hermaphroditic monkey?

[Obitwokenobi]

In Wicket W. Warrick's Ewok hood.

---------------------------------------------------------------

What was it doing there?

[lotos]

Originally posted by Obidobi@Jun 8 2003, 11:25 PM
Girls mature earlier than boys.....It's the same all over the world....sad but true....!
Do boys ever mature?

[Rogue_0009]

Only in the sense of cultivating more nose hair.

[Obitwokenobi]

I've matured!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
mostly...

[one with many names]

I don't understand the question.

[Obidobi]

It's because you have too many names...




What is "One with many names' " names ?

[Obitwokenobi]

Winnie the Pooh
Piglet
Tigger
Rabbit
Pichu
Jar Jar
Wicket
Paploo
Barney

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Where are my briefs?

[Obidobi]

On top of your head remember.....



How often do you change them...?

[Obitwokenobi]

Right now

-------------------------------------

When's the next time?

[Obidobi]

Soon I hope....


Why did Leia always knew...?

[Obitwokenobi]

She is a psychic, just like Prof. X

--------------------------------------------

What aer me taallking abotu?

[Obidobi]

Star Wars I guess....?

Does this thread belong here in the General?

[darth bobo]

who knows?

do you think hupty dumpty was pushed?

[JKRich]

yeah by little boy blue..
are jedi like eunichs?

[Momin327]

I have no idea what a eunich is, and I've seen POTC too!

Would Jabba eventually break Leia's will if she was his slave for a longer length of time?

[darth bobo]

yes... i mean look at those sexy ripples of fat!!!
sooo hard to resist!

why, why, why delilah?

[Javen]

Because Samson is so strong.

Is Hoth actually Alaska?

[Momin327]

Yeah. The Wampa cave is an igloo.

Why did the dianoga REALLY grab Luke?

[darth bobo]

it had a crush on him!!!

can i have an amen?

[Katsu Ma'roy]

no, but you may have a MTFBWY

Why does Ben have to physically go all the way to the tracker beam to shut it off..instead of using the force?

[Obidobi]

Because Vader would have felt it and sent some bad vibes to block it...

Do you think Rystall's orange hair is cool?

[Obi-Stu]

Orange is in at the moment...

Who was the real navigator through the core?

[Momin327]

The Force.

Who controls the British crown?

[Obidobi]

Originally posted by Momin327@May 12 2004, 09:23 PM
The Force.

Who controls the British crown?
What in a galaxy far away does the British crown has to do with SW? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/giveup.gif

What was the smell that Leia discovered?

[Momin327]

Steve Martin's Cajun cooking, of course!

Who would win: Lando or Mr. T?

[Obidobi]

T'bone would win!

Do you think you know everything about SW?

[Katsu Ma'roy]

"T'bone! Do you think you know everything about SW" (yes he DOES know all! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif



What does blue milk taste like?

[darth bobo]

bubble gum flavour milk...
nice!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/barf.gif

who's sexier? leia or amidala

[Obi-Stu]

In the words of RM,"if only we could find that damned metal bikini..."

Did darth Vader murder Anakin Skywalker?

[Momin327]

Psychologically, yes. Vader mortally wounded Anakin.

Did Leia keep her metal bikini?

[Obi-Stu]

I like to think she did.


going with that. Did Han ever get to see her in it?

[Momin327]

After getting away from Jabba, I hope so.

How did George celebrate his 60th today?

[Obidobi]

He spent his day at a public toilet because of yesterdays party..

How will Jar Jar die?

[Momin327]

His speeder's engine explodes.

How will greedo shoot first?

[Obidobi]

He'll pull the trigger...

Why does he miss?

[Momin327]

He was always the loser at laser tag.

What couldn't 3PO "bear to watch" in Jabba's palace?

[Obidobi]

Oola having a nice dinner with the Rancor...

Was he jealous?

[Sam Kenobi]

Of course.

Why us Mos Eisely worse than Coruscant (a wretched hive of scum and villany . . .)?

[Momin327]

Coruscant has perfume. 'Nuff said.

What was Aunt Beru cooking before the Sandtroopers showed up?

[Sam Kenobi]

food

What was Uncle Owen doing?

[Momin327]

He was headed for the South Ridge to check his vaporators.

Why haven't we seen Han's father?

[Sam Kenobi]

Because Han ran away, or was abandoned, or some reason like that.

Why did Ackbar make the B-Wing revolve around the cockpit?

[Momin327]

He thought it would make the Empire squeal seeing it.

Did Jabba insist on having Leia's ears pierced when he made her his slave?

[Obidobi]

I guess he insisted on a great many things....

How could Luke mistake that much?

[Sam Kenobi]

easily

Who would win: Yoda or Windu?

[Momin327]

Yoda. 'Nuff said.

What is the GFFA equivalent of the free world, as in "Keep On Rocking in the Free World?"

[Obidobi]

How does that have anything to do about Star Wars.....?

Do you think the Sarlacc need a toothpicker after it's meal?

[Momin327]

If he's got something in his mouth.

Seriously, what did Leia do to her bikini after escaping from Jabba?

[Obidobi]

She put it away in some suitcase...

Do you think she wore it at her wedding night?

[jedi hunter]

It is hopeful.

Do you think R2 makes a good drink holder?

[Momin327]

He makes a mighty good gin & tonic, so yeah.

Besides the Sail Barge, did R2 ever see Leia wear the bikini?

[Obidobi]

Yeah.. When she took it off herself and into the inner part of himself.

Is R2D2 into bikinifetishism just like Momin?

[jedi hunter]

probaly.



Does R2 love it when he short circuts.

[Sam Kenobi]

Depends on his mood.

Does 3P0 like it when he short circuits?

[Momin327]

Of course not, prissy droid...

Do you suppose Luke's ever invited a girl to bathe with him in the oil bath thingy?

[Sam Kenobi]

Nooooooo . . .

Did Luke ever have a girlfriend?

[Obidobi]

Yes.. Her name was Camie and in ANH she was played by Koo Stark, but was cut in the film.

Did you know that?

[Momin327]

I certainly did, from the novel version.

Did Leia have the eqivalent of handmaidens when she was Princess of Alderaan?

[jedijaybird]

What do your think the inside of Vader's Helmet smells like?

[Obidobi]

Sith Poodoo....

[one with many names]

Who was the first of the jedi order?

(i got my ideas but i want to see what you think)

[Tovor]

Originally posted by Obidobi@Sep 6 2004, 05:11 AM
Yes.. Her name was Camie and in ANH she was played by Koo Stark, but was cut in the film.

Did you know that?
Quoted post

I beg to differ, my fine sailor friend. Camie was hooked up with Wormer, apparently, from her close proximity to him in the Toshe Station cut scene. I think she was sitting on his lap when Luke burst in blurting about the space battle.

[Obidobi]

^nah.. She was just cheating on him.... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Momin327]

Has Leia ever worn a bikini prior to ROTJ?

[one with many names]

I think it may be possible.

What happened to the one she got from jabba after that movie?

[Momin327]

I hope she kept it.

If they didn't burn the dead jawas, would Obi-Wan and the droids sell them?

[StarDestroyer]

Originally posted by one with many names@Sep 17 2004, 01:18 PM
Who was the first of the jedi order?

(i got my ideas but i want to see what you think)
Quoted post



Kaja Sinis was a Civian born on Coruscant 25,000 years before The Phantom Menace. He was the first Jedi and founder of the Order of Jedi Bendu Knights. The term Jedi meant “light bringer” in the Civian language. Sinis created the techniques allowing one to use the Force. He discovered two sides of the Force, the good side (called “Ashla” in Civian) and the dark side (called “Bogan” in Civian). In the early years, it was the duty of a Jedi to study both the Ashla and the Bogan, but serve the Ashla or good side.

[StarDestroyer]

that one does have an answer, 'cause i'm a loser... :thud:

[Sam Kenobi]

The Force.

Why was someething familiar about Dagobah?

[Momin327]

The smell of Yoda's gas. "A Jedi feels the Force flowing through him!"

[Momin327]

*bump*

[Momin327]

Bumpers infinity!

[o8_jedi]

Considering how we see The Tree from ESB in Clone Wars Vol. 2, was The Tree a popular location for the trials?

[Momin327]

Yes. Yoda was a tree-hugger.

Did the imperials know they got a dianoga in their garbage compactor(s)?

[o8_jedi]

Yes. What would a sewer (or garbage compactor as it were) be without a dianoga?

Why is it that, with the exception of Yoda vs. Dooku, Yoda vs. Palpatine, and Qui-Gon vs. Maul, that lightsaber duels end with someone losing a limb, their head, or other form of slicing?

[Momin327]

The Jedi were given a lightsaber and a brain, but only enough energy to run one at a time.

Did Luke ever have any birthday parties when he was a kid?

[cj790]

Yes, but the other children grew tired of just having Blue Milk and Moisture Vaporator Mushrooms to eat.



Does R2 D2 actually like Threepio?

[Talcy]

Originally posted by o8_jedi@Jun 1 2005, 04:53 PM
Why is it that, with the exception of Yoda vs. Dooku, Yoda vs. Palpatine, and Qui-Gon vs. Maul, that lightsaber duels end with someone losing a limb, their head, or other form of slicing?
Quoted post

Two ways to kill with a sword - stab or slash/cut. Take your pick.

How long did the Rancor have that bit of drool hanging there for?

[Bretsch]

Weeks? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif


Speaking of Rancor's................some SW characters must have had terrible B.O. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/barf.gif

[Talcy]

Was anyone around long enough to make a complaint to the Rancor Keepers about the smell, though?

[Bretsch]

^Good point. But still, there are lots of characters who would really stink, starting with Java, or even a Wookie's breath

[Javen]

If Luke was too short to be a stormtrooper. Then howcome it magically fits on on him just fine? hmmm...

[Momin327]

The black jumpsuit beneath the armor's elastic.

Did Leia eat anything when she was Jabba's slave girl?

[Bretsch]

You don't want to know style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue2.gif

[Momin327]

Why was it that TK-421 was the only stormtrooper in the whole OT to have a grappling hook with him?