Star Wars Limericks

[Oscar the Grouch]

I've been writing some of these the last couple of years...

Once in a dark dank palace near Boonta Eve,
there lived an overweight rancor keeper named Steve
when the rancor died
Steve the keeper cried
and blew his nose on a poor Weequay's sleeve.

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There once was a man from Naboo
had a cleft chin and warped point of view
Before the Jedi could sense it
he said, "I AM the senate!"
and the galaxy was in some deep poodoo!

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C3PO pitied his self as he went.
His tired old servo motors were spent
Han Solo jawed,
"Hurry up, Goldenrod
or you will become a permanent resident!"

--------------

The Jawas had been dead for awhile,
and the bantha tracks weren't in single file.
"And isn't it nice
the blasters had been so precise?,"
thought 3PO as he threw another Jawa on the pile.

[Sarah-Leia]

Lol! They're funny and good! Hope to see some more! :D

[Jedi Master Harrison]

Excellent! I particularly liked the Sidious limerick! :rofl:

[Oscar the Grouch]

Thanks! Here's a couple more:

True, when they froze Captain Solo, I wasn't around,
but, I coulda swore that his hands had been bound.
However, when Leia thawed him out
I had good reason to doubt
Because the binders were no where to be found!

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Darth Maul gave a hideous laugh
He'd eliminated some Jedi riff-raff
Obi Wan gave a cry
as he flew through the sky
and sliced the suprised Sith right in half.

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I wandered in to the local WalMart store
and saw some new toys for Episode Four
I bought a Greedo, a jawa,
a buck toothed Ponda Baba,
and by the time I got to the car I was poor.

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I found the dancing Yoda on my dvd.
You go to "Options then type a "1", "1", "3"
and finally an "8",
it really is great!
He raps and busts a move, aw yeah BOYEEEE!!

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In a truly unforgettable part of Star Wars lore,
after Artoo Detoo got puked up on the shore,
"A Jedi named Yoda I must find",
the towheaded wonderboy whined.
His new aquaintance said,"After we eat. Not before."

Luke cried, "But I don't see why must I wait?"
The green muppet rolled his eyes as he ate.
"Some patience, must you learn,
quench your anger and in turn
quench your fear, and your haste, and your hate."

[Jedi Master Harrison]

:wtg: :yeah: Darth Maul was my favourite of that selection!

[sharyntyre]

:happydance: I like them, pretty funny stuff

:welcome:

[Oscar the Grouch]

Old Yoda walks like he has bad arthritis pain,
but when he fights, something isn't the same.
He does flips and he spins
but then after he wins
he still hobbles around with his cane.

I suspect I know the real reason why
there are two extremes to this guy.
Frank Oz's hand up his @$$
makes it hard to move fast,
but when he's CG, the little man can fly!

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Last night I consented to let my friend's son borrow
My Darth Vader Tie Fighter, and much to my sorrow
he left it on the floor
and its left wing is no more
I think I might stop crying sometime tomorrow.

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One cold day on the planet of ice and snow and frost
Luke was fleeing a wampa and he soon became lost.
Hallucinations then began,
He saw a bluish glowing man,
Who told him to get his butt to Dagobah at any cost.

There was something familiar about the ghost's face.
Someone he knew from a different time or place...
He looked again at the man
But all he saw was Han
Who came to shove Luke up a dead tauntaun's...ase? http://forum.blueharvest.net/html/emoticons/tounge.gif

Luke wondered, "Was it true? Was that really Ben?"
"I think it would be awesome to talk to him again,"
"But first I'll need a shower,"
"This tauntaun stench can overpower,"
"Just about anything including an eopie's rear end.

[Jedi Master Harrison]

^ Fantastic! Keep 'em coming! :rofl: :thumbs-up:

[Sarah-Leia]

They're just too good! :rofl:

[Oscar the Grouch]

Little Anakin pushed the stick with all his might,
his fighter "stumbled" through the midst of the fight.
Then he "accidentally" did slip
inside a Confederation ship
and then "by chance" blew it up...yeah right.
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[Jedi Master Harrison]

Take a bow! :wtg: :rofl:

[Angry Wookiee]

Once A young fellow from Tatooine
Riding in a X-wing could be seen
Luke was his name
Explosion his game
A Jedi the emperor had foreseen.

[Angry Wookiee]

Thast a name i've not heard in a long time
Obi wan, upon finding luke, did chime
Vader killed your dad
I know it makes you sad
but you will meet him, I'm sure, in time.

[Jedi Master Harrison]

You'd make a good limerick tag team! :) Good stuff AW!

[Angry Wookiee]

Vader was finally complete
With a body suit that looked real neat
But it rides up in places
And Vader makes faces
It’s so itchy and hold's in the heat

Quit your b****in’the Emperor said
If it weren’t for the suit you’d be dead
Put your helmet back on
cus it won't be too long
Till the scabs start to form on your head

That’s disgusting, a trooper then spoke
And Vader's not good with a joke
Grabbed him right by the neck
Threw him down on the deck
And his head soon begin to smoke

[Angry Wookiee]

I'm a Jedi like my father before me
I won't turn to the Dark Side you'll see
Kill me if you like
This Jedi is on strike
Till my daddy tosses you out with glee

[Oscar the Grouch]

Yeah!! We should rewrite the whole saga in limerick form... :D

[Angry Wookiee]

Lets do it, I'll start.

A long time ago, so they say.
In a Galaxy far, far away.
A story was told,
For the young and the old,
With millions of fans to this day.

[Jedi Master Harrison]

I'm looking forward to this, that's a good start! :w00t:

[Oscar the Grouch]

The story begins on the planet called Naboo,
besieged by a greedy Trade Federation who
despite pleas and shouts
blocked their trade routs
And so the Jedi dispached a team of two.

[Angry Wookiee]

“I have a bad feeling” Obi said
QUI-GON said “clear your head,
an unusual amount of fear
I do sense here.”
Soon Dofine was filled with dread.

[Jedi Master Harrison]

I'm not going to clutter up your thread with me telling you they are great after every couple of posts, but just so you know I am really enjoying this thread and hopefully the other Senators will as well! :happydance:

[Oscar the Grouch]

"These types are cowards, the talks will be short."
And indeed Nute blanched at TC-14's report
That they received Jedi guests
investigating the queen's requests
that had been presented before the Senate's court.

[Oscar the Grouch]

The Neimoidians next move was not that smart.
The Jedi's Republic cruiser they blasted apart
The men lit their swords
and started towards
the door but were stopped by bad gas (not a fart).

"They must be dead by now," Nute Gunray said.
But the Jedi jumped out and cut off a battle droid's head.
They chopped up a few more,
Nute said, "Lock the door!"
Rune said, "I have a feeling we'll all soon be dead.

Qui-gon thrust his lightsaber through the door.
Nute said, "HA! That's just one door, I have more."
So the blast doors were closed
They were safe...they supposed
Until again a spot on the door glowed like before.

"Still coming through!!?" a shocked Rune wailed.
"Impossible!" said Nute as the blast door failed.
But then destroyer droids showed up
and the Master and his padawan pup
turned heel and fled rather than risk getting nailed.

"We've got them on the run!" Rune laughed.
"They've gone hiding up the ventilation shaft."
The Jedi emerged at a vent screen
The couldn't believe what they'd seen!
A droid army!? And from the looks, it wasn't understaffed.