Retort Man's Answer Thread - Where Wisdom Abounds

[Tovor]

I am the Master of Answers, the Retort Man* I am.

A wise man named BL-17 once asked me the question, "What is the first real step to gaining a little wisdom and enlightenment?"
To which I answered, "Open your mind and allow yourself to be taught."
That concept is truth, for all the great scientists and biologists and doctors and philosophers throughout history propelled society and humanity forward by their absorbing of past teachings and their enhancement and giving of what they'd learned to future generations of open minded, willing to learn thinkers.

But if you think that's what this thread is about, you have come to the wrong place. *I am Tovor the Retort Man*, and I am greater and smarter than all them old dead guys from the past. *I know everything and I have all the answers, and I have no real need for the teachings of the past when I can formulate my own answers based on my massive stores of self-gained knowledge.

Ask me all that you wish to know, and I will answer, within reason. *It is my choice to interject any humor (if at all) or sarcasm as I see fit. *I can do this. *I am the Retort Man.*
There are rules, however, to ensure that no one might take advantage of my generous offering of wisdom here.

RULES:
1) Do not ask me more than 4 questions at a time. *My time is precious.

2) Do not ask me questions about yourself, such as your favorite color, team, your height, or any such things. *I am the Retort Man*. *My time is precious.

3) There is nothing that I do not know. *If you think that I answered incorrectly, it is your fault for improperly phrasing the question.

4) If you ask me something I cannot answer, well, I will ignore you. *Why not? The previous answer guys did it. *For further clarification, refer to Rule #3.

5) Do not ask me questions pertaining to professional sports or sports teams. *I have non-disclosure agreements with the teams that I give consultations to, which cannot be breached.

6) Many of my answers may be in the form of wit or sarcasm or desperate attempts of such. *Brace yourself.

7) If you ask me something I do not know, refer to Rule #3.

8) If you are young and fragile of feelings, tread carefully in this thread. *I do not want you to be hurt.

9) If you are not satisfied with this Answer Thread, remember Rule #3.

10) This thread will be geared more toward the message board fans of the older generation, that 26.67% and 3.33% of us, plus those younger who can handle it here.

12) Do not mock my wisdom, or I will mock you for your inability to fully comprehend Rule #3. Then I will bombard you with mean thoughts. Do not defy me. I am the Retort Man*.

13) Do NOT confuse Retort* with retard. I will mock you if you do. I can do that. I am the Retort Man".

So begin your search for knowledge and enlightenment and enrich your understanding of the universe we live in (not the other universe this one sometimes gets confused with).
Inquire of me that which you desire to know and understand. I know and answer everything, except for those things which fall under the clause of Rule #2, Rule #3, Rule #5, and Rule #7.

*title subject to change without notice.
**mind subject to change without reason.
***underwear subject to change as needed.

[Javen]

Yeah if something is in a color that I cant read would the Mod like Tovor change it so I could?

Oh and here is my other question

Do you know what a neutron bomb is?

[Darth Darthy]

Dear Tovor,
* Why do some people have ginger beards and hair?
It's just wrong.

And how do you kill that guy at the end of JK:II Outcast?!?

I fogot to say congratulations on winning, Tovor! I hope you didn't cheat! Git! :lol: :0 style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

and

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/joystick.gif <--- I've never used this icon before because it look's like a smiley face ****ing. Tsk, tsk.

[Rinc]

If you were on death row what would your last meal be?

[JediBendu]

What will happen when Star Wars fans discover Mark Hamill is really George Lucas' secret lover, Britney Spears being the product of their unholy communion?

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

What should I do if there is an evil evil man trying to shoot me who realizes that I'm still flying arround and hates flying artoo's?

[BL-17]

How does darkness affect the color of a seedling?

How much is a $5 bill from the year 1928 worth now?

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

What would you do if I said hi?

[Tovor]

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Yeah if something is in a color that I cant read would the Mod like Tovor change it so I could?[/b][/quote]
A Mod like Tovor would not. *Do what Tovor does when he reads Vyndim's posts, highlight the text and make reading it a breeze. Or use the Classic skin that has a black background. Cyan looks purty on it. So do red and yellow, but blue and green are not so nifty.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Do you know what a neutron bomb is?[/b][/quote]
Yes. I told you the answer when you asked it of the last answer guy. *Despite flopping at the box office in 1982, the new TRON bomb from Disney was a feast of visual delights never seen or done before in movies. *A shame it bombed though.

[JediBendu]

TRON is way cool! It took just about the enitire computing power of NASA to render the 3d style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

[Darth Darthy]

You didn't anser my 'ginger' question. Well? Why is ginger hair so stupid? Who decided to curse the human race with ginger hair.
Those poor, poor people. I'm sorry. It's not your fault...

[Tovor]

Darthy:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Dear Tovor, Why do some people have ginger beards and hair?[/b][/quote]
I love ginger bread, the soft and chewy gingerbread men are one of my favorite Xmas treats. *Lucky guy, that gingerbreadman, he can pick at his hair all day and chew it when he get's hungry. I wish I had gingerbread hair.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>And how do you kill that guy at the end of JK:II Outcast?!?[/b][/quote]
Aquire skill, patience, and determination. *After that it all falls into place. *It is that simple.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

I want my questions answer NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Tovor]

Rinc:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>If you were on death row what would your last meal be? [/b][/quote]
My tongue when they switch the electric chair on.

[Tovor]

You all must aquire patience. *Patience is the key to being patient. *You'll get your turn to twinkle, little Starra. *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

what about me?

[Tovor]

JediBendu:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What will happen when Star Wars fans discover Mark Hamill is really George Lucas' secret lover, Britney Spears being the product of their unholy communion?[/b][/quote]
Star Wars fans will demand to know how Mark aquired ovaries and a womb. *Then they will realize exactly why George is so fond of Jar Jar. *Then they will beg to show Britney their lightsabers. *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/saber.gif

[JediBendu]

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/biggrin.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/exclamation.gif

[Darth Darthy]

Who is the evil guy out of JKII:Outcast? What's his name?
Your last answer sounded like some Yoda mumbo-jumbo. *"Skill", "Determination" and "Patience". What the hell is that? How do you kill the git?

[Tovor]

Rebel Astromech Droid:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What should I do if there is an evil evil man trying to shoot me who realizes that I'm still flying arround and hates flying artoo's? [/b][/quote]
Drop a heavy bolt on his head, and when he bends over in pain with his hands to his dented skull, fly behind him with your probe tool extended and...well, you get the idea.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Originally posted by Tovor@Aug. 30 2002 - 21:05
Drop a heavy bolt on his head, and when he bends over in pain with his hands to his dented skull, fly behind him with your probe tool extended and...well, you get the idea.
I like that you'd better watch out Darthy I can fly.

[Tovor]

BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How does darkness affect the color of a seedling?[/b][/quote]
Color is a product of light reflecting off of an object. *In darkness there is no color. *On the other hand, I used to know a Chinese student named Seid Ling, and he was afraid of the dark, so when he returned to the light we saw that his face had turned white with fear. *Your answer then is that darkness makes Seid Ling turn a whitish color, which can only be understood once he returns to the light.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How much is a $5 bill from the year 1928 worth now?[/b][/quote]
How much does a 1928 $5 bill value for? *A lot.
How much is it worth to a collector? *A lot more.
What is the value of being alive to hold the same $5 bill you got when you were a kid in 1928? Priceless.

[Tovor]

R.A.D.:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What would you do if I said hi?[/b][/quote]
I would say hi back. Are you worried about rejection before you extend friendliness?

[Tovor]

Darthy:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Those poor, poor people. I'm sorry. It's not your fault... [/b][/quote]
Why are you referring to me? I don't have ginger hair. Ginger is yellowish red, and my hair was brown with a little sandy blond mixed in for good measure. As of now, since I shaved recently, non-ginger hair is in the trash with some newspapers.

[JediBendu]

If a joint did start to answer, should I be worried.
Would it be offended if I don't respond?
Could I ask it a question instead?

[Tovor]

Darthy:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>I fogot to say congratulations on winning, Tovor! I hope you didn't cheat! Git![/b][/quote]
You "fogot"? I do not cheat, my red eyed friend. I rely in charm and wit, you git. But thank you.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>I've never used this icon before because it look's like a smiley face ****ing. Tsk, tsk. [/b][/quote]
I thought the same thing too. But let's not discuss that action here. The young girls don't know men do that yet.

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>If a joint did start to answer, should I be worried.
Would it be offended if I don't respond?
Could I ask it a question instead?
[/b][/quote]
Yes. It means you smoked too many before that one. Like Cheech Marin in Rude Awakening, smoking a bone on the side of the river, when a fish stuck his head out of the water and asked if he could have a toke of his joint.
It will not be offended. You will only percieve it to be.
It will not answer you. If it does, you have been smoking something stronger than a joint. Seek help. Don't be a fried egg. :p

[JediBendu]

I prefer scrambled anyway style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif

[Obidobi]

Is it dangerous to smoke my old socks, or grandpa´s old underwear?

[BL-17]

How many letters are in the Canadian alphabet?

[Javen]

What is the mathmatical equation of spinach

[Tovor]

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What is the mathmatical equation of spinach[/b][/quote]

4x10x212

4 ounces of water, 10 minutes heating on high temperature, till it boils at 212 degrees fahr.

[Javen]

Finally I got the answer, you really do know it all.

[Tovor]

obidobi:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Is it dangerous to smoke my old socks, or grandpa´s old underwear? [/b][/quote]
Your socks, yes. *Very dangerous. *The living creatures imbedded in the fibers, albiet tiny, might ignite suddenly.
Grandpa's old underwear, that is fine, as long as it is aged long enough like cheese, wine, and him.

[Tovor]

BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How many letters are in the Canadian alphabet?[/b][/quote]
Well gee, BL, you didnt specify French Quebec or the other English-speaking provinces. No matter, it's all the same. Overall, the Canadian alphabet has 12 letters. Plus an additional 9. And a final 5 letters.

[BL-17]

You're a Mod and people ask you questions in this thread. If an inappropriate question is asked, would it count as a flame? Would the person asking receive a warning?

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>You're a Mod and people ask you questions in this thread. If an inappropriate question is asked, would it count as a flame? Would the person asking receive a warning?[/b][/quote]
Those are questions that cannot be answered until the question is asked.

[BL-17]

All right, then... I'm not brave enough to take the chance.

A farmer has to cross a river, and has only one raft. The farmer has TWO sheep and ONE tiger that he wants to transport across the river. The raft can carry the farmer and ONE other animal at a time. The farmer has to be on the raft to cross the river. If the farmer leaves the tiger with a sheep, the tiger will EAT the sheep. The farmer wants to transport all the animals across the river without any of the animals dying. None of the animals or the farmer can swim, so if they are not on the raft they will drown. How can the farmer do it?

[Tovor]

First of all, the farmer goofed. *He was supposed to be traveling with a lion, a goat, and a head of cabbage. *But since he was traveling with the wrong animals and he only had a raft wide enough for him and one animal, which is impossible since unless it was wider the combined wieght would make the rubber raft unstable and tip over. *But there are 2 other ways to overcome his dilemma.
1) He urges two beavers to knaw down several trees to create a solid dam across the river upstream, and when the river level went down to the riverbed, he then walked across with his tiger and two sheep. *
2) This one is twice as easy. *He temps the two sheep to make nasty until the female conceives and is with calf in her sheep womb. *Then he waits until just before she is going to give birth. *Then he takes the tiger across first, then the male sheep and leaves it with the hungry tiger, then he goes back and brings the pregnant sheep over and times it just right for the sheep to give birth just as the tiger devours the male sheep, and then guess what? *He still has one tiger and two sheep!
PM me with the question, I'll let you know.

[Kit]

What would happen if I were to ignite my crappy T-shirt?
Is Sidious actually Palpatine?
And do you know the muffin man?

[Tovor]

Kit:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What would happen if I were to ignite my crappy T-shirt?
Is Sidious actually Palpatine?
And do you know the muffin man?[/b][/quote]
It would burn. And smell up your whole house like insence.
Yes. Absolutely without a shred of doubt.
I know several. Are you referring to Mr. Banana Nut, Mr. Blueberry, Mr. Walnut, or whom?

[Blizzard]

Tov, are you a hottie?

[Tovor]

Oh yeah baby. I am the One Hour Man, baby.

[BL-17]

Couldn't the One Hour Man be confused for the Ten Second Man?

[Javen]

How many rain drops can fall in an hour,if raining steady for the whole hour?

[RollaFett]

Whatever happened to Teek?

[Rogue_0009]

Could you explain socratic method?

[QuigonWindu]

Why did you close down my question and answer joint if it was created first. I was just about to make you the new Dr. Smarty pants anyway.?

What you don't like me?

Why don't you like me?

[Rinc]

Have you ever been arrested?

[Kit]

If I were to have 7 muffins from Mr. Blueberry (who you claim to know) and I were to take away 5 how many muffins do I have?

[Tovor]

Kit:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>If I were to have 7 muffins from Mr. Blueberry (who you claim to know) and I were to take away 5 how many muffins do I have?[/b][/quote]

You would have 18 muffins. The remaining two, plus the sixteen you stole from Mr. Wheat and Fiber yesterday, you fiend.

[Tovor]

quigonwindu:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Why did you close down my question and answer joint if it was created first. I was just about to make you the new Dr. Smarty pants anyway.?[/b][/quote]
Like I explained in your reopened thread, I was under the impression you offered the job out because you didn't want it anymore. *I said that if I was voted on, I would close that thread and start a new one, and you quoted me as saying that. *Looks like I misunderstood you and you misunderstood me. *I really didn't know that you wanted me to be your sidekick. *I thought you wanted me to take over the thread. *I'm sorry for the misunderstanding.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What you don't like me?[/b][/quote]
I do like you. *Why do you think I don't? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Why don't you like me? [/b][/quote]
Didn't you already ask me that question? *:look:

[Tovor]

BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Couldn't the One Hour Man be confused for the Ten Second Man? [/b][/quote]
Nope. *You and I don't look anything alike. *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

[Tovor]

Rinc:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Have you ever been arrested? [/b][/quote]
Yes, technically but not offically. *I was pulled over about 9 years ago for going through a yellow that turned red, and I hadn't known that my license had been suspended. *I had changed insurance companies and the previous company informed MVB that I no longer had insurance, but the new company didn't report that I had insurance with them. *So my license was suspended due to a typo in the letter MVB sent me. *They had told me my license would be suspended in a certain number of days if I did not provide proof of insurance, but the date of suspension on the letter was not the same date MVB had in their computer, so according to the cop, my license had already expired. *When I explained my story, he told me I was being placed under arrest but on paper only, and that I could leave the scene under my own recognisince but not drive the car until I had the situation straightened out. *
And that was how I was arrested, technically but not officially.

I'm sorry, did you just want a yes or no answer?

[Justin]

What is the Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer (42) of Life, the Universe, and Everything?

[Javen]

Didnt you miss my question on the last page?

And have any flashbacks of ROTJ lately?

[Tovor]

BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>You're a Mod and people ask you questions in this thread. If an inappropriate question is asked, would it count as a flame? Would the person asking receive a warning?
[/b][/quote]
Are you asking in general, or do you have a specific question that you need answered? Are you wanting to flame me, as per your question on what counts as a flame, or is it something else? Now I'm curious about this question of yours.

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How many rain drops can fall in an hour,if raining steady for the whole hour? [/b][/quote]
Stand by, I will find a rainstorm and count them for you.

[Jamielee]

Originally posted by BL-17@Aug. 31 2002 - 00:26

A farmer has to cross a river, and has only one raft. The farmer has TWO sheep and ONE tiger that he wants to transport across the river. The raft can carry the farmer and ONE other animal at a time. The farmer has to be on the raft to cross the river. If the farmer leaves the tiger with a sheep, the tiger will EAT the sheep. The farmer wants to transport all the animals across the river without any of the animals dying. None of the animals or the farmer can swim, so if they are not on the raft they will drown. How can the farmer do it?

Well, I can answer this one. The farmer takes the tiger across, then goes back, gets one sheep and takes it across, once he's across he leaves the sheep and takes the tiger back to the first shore, where he leaves the tiger and picks up the second sheep. he takes the sheep across,then goes back for the tiger. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/y.gif who's the know-it-all now? sorry I brag too much

[BL-17]

Originally posted by Tovor@Aug. 31 2002 - 23:10
BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>You're a Mod and people ask you questions in this thread. If an inappropriate question is asked, would it count as a flame? Would the person asking receive a warning?

Are you asking in general, or do you have a specific question that you need answered? *Are you wanting to flame me, as per your question on what counts as a flame, or is it something else? *Now I'm curious about this question of yours.[/b][/quote]
To be perfectly honest, I was just wondering. I could never flame anyone! It's just not my style... *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif

That is correct, Jamielee. Very good.


Which do you prefer more: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" or "Kung Pow!: Enter the Fist"?

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Which do you prefer more: "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" or "Kung Pow!: Enter the Fist"?[/b][/quote]
Definately Monty Python. "Enter the Fist" sounds like a film about an appoinment with the proctologist.

[Kit]

Originally posted by Jamielee@Sep. 01 2002 - 00:39
I brag too much
that you do... and yes I will stalk you around this board, as you do with me style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif But that's what I'm for. Though I must say, good answer!
----------------------------------------------------------

Anyhoo, I didn't steal sixteen muffins! It was seventeen!-- oops :look:

Now...
What is the airspeed velocity to a swallow?
And what is your favorite woodlen creature?

[Jamielee]

Kit-- I think you mean woodland creature

[Jamielee]

Rogue- socratic method is a method of teaching devised by socrates, where a teacher asks a question for a student to answer, therefore testing a student's knowledge and encouraging him/her to think for him/herself

[Kit]

Originally posted by Jamielee@Sep. 01 2002 - 12:45
Kit-- I think you mean woodland creature

:tears: :cry:

[Darth Darthy]

Dear Mr Tovor,
I sense a herb... a herb I've not sensed since uni......

It's very naughty and just because your ginger doesn't mean you have the right to smoke "herbal remedies". No matter how much you smoke, I fear you'll always be ginger.
What will you do? Will you use "JUST FOR MEN"?

[Tovor]

GollaFett:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Whatever happened to Teek? [/b][/quote]
One day he had a hot dog. Another day he saw a movie. Then one day he read a book. He also went to a book store. He sneezed, he ate, he drank, he breathed. See? Lots of things happened to him. Wind and birds flew past him as well.

[Darth Drew]

Why do fools fall in love? :tears:

[Tovor]

Kit:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What is the airspeed velocity to a swallow?
And what is your favorite woodlen creature? [/b][/quote]

Air in your throat does not move when you swallow. *The throat contracts and squeezes food and beverage and bicycle parts downward. *But, air does move with it, I will grant you that. The answer then is that in the scale of the area of the throat where swallowing is carried out, air and other objects move at a speed of -dx45x.9perwol.

On the other hand, if you were referring to the little birdy called a swallow, due to the date and time and certain religious beliefs of cultures I am not involved in, such a question cannot be answered at this time. *For moral and socialogical reasons, of course. *But, don't you think Woodstock is so cute when he's flying toward Snoopy and the wind velocity blows him upside down and he keeps flying upside down? *Heh heh. *Flying birds are funny.

The meercat is my favorite woodland creature. *
I love those little dudes, standing on their hind legs with their heads forward, scouting for danger. *Once in one of the stores I worked in, somebody made a page over the loudspeaker, and the manager who was short stood up on her toes to look over the top of the aisle to see who paged her, and I told her, "You look like a meercat!" *She had no idea what I was talking about. *Most usually don't. :look:

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What is the Ultimate Question to the Ultimate Answer [/b][/quote]
Don't you have that backwards?

[Tovor]

Who is this Jamielee who has invaded my thread? *I'd better speak to my accountant because I don't think she is on my payroll. *style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/scratchchin.gif

[Javen]

Are you making fun of me in General Star Wars thread?

[Tovor]

I am here, not there. *I cannot make fun of you there and make fun of you here at the same time. So, I am not making fun of you in the General Star Was section, but I making fun of you in general. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

[Javen]

Is that your final answer?

Ok let me be more technical then.
You were in General area at some point and changed something and you get the picture....

[Tovor]

Oh, yes, that. I figured two things...The change would explain the theme of the thread rather than appearing to be just about the guy...and, it would be amusing and make people curious about what it pertained to. I also considered adding "for 40 seconds" to it, but I thought I'd wait to see if you liked the first change. Do ya?

[Tovor]

Darth Drew:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Why do fools fall in love? [/b][/quote]
You have answered your question in the wording of the question. They are not fools who then fall in love, they fall in love and become fools for doing it.

[Javen]

Originally posted by Tovor@Sep. 02 2002 - 11:14
Oh, yes, that. I figured two things...The change would explain the theme of the thread rather than appearing to be just about the guy...and, it would be amusing and make people curious about what it pertained to. *I also considered adding "for 40 seconds" to it, but I thought I'd wait to see if you liked the first change. *Do ya?
Oh yeah I do like it, I was joking with you anyway.

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Oh yeah I do like it,I was joking with you anyway.[/b][/quote]
You didn't leave a space between the comman and the next part of the statement. You sentence merging J person!

See? NOW I'm making fun of ya! :lol:

[Javen]

You need glasses oldman.Plus what is a comman?lol

[Tovor]

A comman is the masculine form of the usual comma. It is what seperates boy sentences from girl sentences. The ones that are stuck to the next word in front are the girly commas. Didn't you ever go to comma school?

[Javen]

I was kicked out for unruley use of the comman sentence.

[Tovor]

Serves you right. So you missed your degree in Commanality.

[Kit]

I shall answer your query Tovor, but by doing such I must say, aren't you supposed to know everything? Anyway, the Jamielee, who has invaded your thread is a minotory- yes MINOTORY (she's dangerous people)- member of the Galactic Senate, who happens to know me and think I am a mean woodland creature.

As for meercats, it's strange the people that I mention them around haven't a clue what I'm talking about.

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>As for meercats, it's strange the people that I mention them around haven't a clue what I'm talking about.

[/b][/quote]
Are you repeating my answers to others? This is supposed to be a confidential eyes only thread.

[Darth Vegas]

Why do cats lick there butts, instead of using toilet paper?

[tunafishgirl]

tovor: do you like having your own answer thread?

[Jamielee]

I'm not invading, I'm just answering a few questions that you haven't.

And I don't think Kit's a mean woodland creature, I just thought he spelled woodland wrong.

By the way, a meercat's not a woodland creature, it lives on the plains. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/cool.gif But I guess you know that already if you know all . . . .

[Tovor]

Jamielee:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>By the way, a meercat's not a woodland creature, it lives on the plains. But I guess you know that already if you know all . . . . [/b][/quote]
Woods, plains, who gives a tomatoe? I love meercats without predudice, and I do not judge them by there they live. Thus my answer was correct, from a certain point of view.

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>And have any flashbacks of ROTJ lately? [/b][/quote]
Sheeeeit boy, yo lage's comin' off!

tunafishgirl:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>tovor: do you like having your own answer thread? [/b][/quote]
There you are. I was wondering how long it would take you to show up, considering how you inspired me in the Poll thread. Your answer is, yes I do.
I am confident that this thread will be a beneficial benefit to society as a whole, because if you remove the "w" you have a hole, and a hole needs to be filled. Filled with knowledge, with substance, with value, and above all with Tovorosity. I can use the word "Tovorosity", for I am the Retort Man*.

Is that your final question?


* Name subject to change without any warning.

Kit:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>I shall answer your query Tovor, but by doing such I must say, aren't you supposed to know everything? [/b][/quote]
Dare to question me, do you? Refer to Rule #3.

Agent Bond:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Why do cats lick there butts, instead of using toilet paper?[/b][/quote]
Because they do not have opposable thumbs, and their claws wind up shredding the paper before it works, and they end up tearing their butts with their claws. If you had claws, you wouldn't use toilet paper either.

[Obidobi]

How come some of the female´s posting on this board so "*****y"?

What kind of humour do they have?

[Blizzard]

Yeah, Tovey, how come I am so *****y.

[tunafishgirl]

tovor:

i'm sorry it took me so long to post in here. i've been meaning to, but i really don't get on here too much on the weekends. but here i am. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif i'm glad to have inspired you to do this. i think you're doing a great job thus far.

as it's really to early for me to think of any real questions to ask you, all i can ask is this: why isn't it thursday yet???

.............................

later that morning (7:40 a.m.)...

ooh, ooh, ooh, i love coffee! i was able to think of a question for you. aren't you proud of me?

okay, here it goes...tovor: if you could only watch one star wars film for the rest of your life, which one would it be?

[Grim Jackal]

Why was Invader Zim cancelled?

How can I d/l the remaining episodes without incurring another $300 bill?

Why did I ask three questions when I only needed two?

[Obidobi]

Originally posted by Blizzard@Sep 4 2002, 05:48 AM
Yeah, Tovey, how come I am so *****y.
Blizzard! I don´t think that you are *****y, but some of the others is a bit *****y when you pull a joke or two! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[tunafishgirl]

yeah, obidobi, i didn't really like your blanket statement about female posters being *****y. i don't really think i've been *****y on here...hopefully, i'm not included in your statement. ???

[Obidobi]

Originally posted by tunafishgirl@Sep 4 2002, 08:09 PM
yeah, obidobi, i didn't really like your blanket statement about female posters being *****y. i don't really think i've been *****y on here...hopefully, i'm not included in your statement. ???
Nope Tunagirl! You are not *****y. See in the cantina thread.

[Darth Drew]

What is the fastest plane on earth?

[tunafishgirl]

thank you, obidobi. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

tovor: where are you today? anyway, i do have another question for you...hopefully you can help me out.

? where, oh, where is my tunafishman??? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huh.gif

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Originally posted by obidobi@Sep 4 2002, 03:18 AM
How come some of the female´s posting on this board so "*****y"?

What kind of humour do they have?
Sure *coughs out the words "look who's talkin"*

[Tovor]

obidobi:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How come some of the female´s posting on this board so "*****y"?
[/b][/quote]
Bad support from the chairs they sit in for hours while posting, leads to arching of the back, stretching of the lower back and buttockal area, and thus a pain in their tucases.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What kind of humour do they have?[/b][/quote]
A Hewmore is the brand of chair that they have, and the type of Hewmore that they own is the "Bidchexpressor." Although far from comfortable, the Bidchexpressor does wonders for the shy and inhibited in in enabling them to express themselves better and vent their buttockal discomfort upon others unfortunate enough to cross their paths.

Blizzee:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Yeah, Tovey, how come I am so *****y?[/b][/quote]
It's either the Bidchexpressor chair you sat in, or something you ate, or something sharp that you sat on.


tunagirlcaserole:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>all i can ask is this: why isn't it thursday yet???[/b][/quote]
You asked the question too soon. It is Thursday now.

More questions will be answered at my convienance. It is late. The Retort Man is tired. Needs to style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sleeping.gif

[Darth Vegas]

Why do doves suddenly appear......?

[freedom01851]

Originally posted by Blizzard@Sep 4 2002, 12:48 AM
Yeah, Tovey, how come I am so *****y.
Tovor,

Is it possible for a person to be banned for flaming themselves?

[tunafishgirl]

tovor:

first i lost tunafishman, now i've lost you. where are you??? ???

[Darth Darthy]

Dear Mr Ginger Bloke (Tovor),
Are they making Troops 2? I heard a rumour a while ago...

[Javen]

Tovor you on vacation like Blizzard or with her?

[Obidobi]

Tovor!
Do I have a picture in my sig, or am I the only one who can see it?

[Darth Darthy]

I can see it.
It's an evil chap chopping off some guys head.

[Obidobi]

Originally posted by Darth Darthy@Sep 8 2002, 04:09 AM
I can see it.
It's an evil chap chopping off some guys head.
Evil chap?
Hellooooo Darthy!!! Can´t you see it´s me! The evil sithmeister Obidobi himself!!

[tunafishgirl]

tovor: what's up with this answer thread? why haven't you posted in here lately? what up???

[Tovor]

obidobi:
Tovor!
Do I have a picture in my sig, or am I the only one who can see it?
Yes you do, and it is bad assed.
==========================================

Why was Invader Zim cancelled?
How can I d/l the remaining episodes without incurring another $300 bill?
Why did I ask three questions when I only needed two?

1-Because Nickelodian has 10 shows on their schedule, and simply ran out of room and time.

2-Seek out the video collection.

3-Because you want attention.
==========================================
Tunafishgirl:
ooh, ooh, ooh, i love coffee! i was able to think of a question for you. aren't you proud of me?
okay, here it goes...tovor: if you could only watch one star wars film for the rest of your life, which one would it be?
1-I am very proud of you, but I hate to think that without the coffee you couldn't have focused your train of thought.

2-Star Wars: T.R.D., Book I,"L.O.T.S.", written by Tovor. I'm not kidding.
==========================================

Darth Drew:
What is the fastest plane on earth?
The horizontal plane. It is everywhere at the same time, all at once...
__________________________________________
:roll: :roll: :roll:
__________________________________________
==========================================

Darth Darthy:
What will you do? Will you use "JUST FOR MEN"?
No. I use a razor.
==========================================
Tunasaladgirl:
? where, oh, where is my tunafishman???
I heard he got put on a sandwhich. Very sad, but very tasty.
==========================================

Why do doves suddenly appear......?
You have poor peripheral vision, and don't notice them until they are in front of you. But they are always there. Always.
==========================================
freedom01851:
Tovor,
Is it possible for a person to be banned for flaming themselves?
It depends on how badly you embarrass yourself and if you hurt your own feelings. Are you a sleymo? If you say yes, you will be banned for flaming yourself.
==========================================
Tunapattywithgrilledonions:
tovor:
first i lost tunafishman, now i've lost you. where are you???
I am right here. I have always been here. I will always be here. Here is where I am, and wherever I go, there I am. And wherever there is, if I'm there, then there is where here is.

My name is not (T)tovor here, here it is Retort Man*.


*Name subject to change without notice, warning, logic or reason.
==========================================

R.A.D. girl:
How come you never ask my advice in Dear Starra, are you offended by me(1), do you not like me(2), do you think I'm stupid(3), What?(4)
1-Nope.
2-Nope.
3-Nope.
4-Maybe.
==========================================

Darthy:
Dear Mr Ginger Bloke (Tovor),
Are they making Troops 2? I heard a rumour a while ago...

Refer to Rule #10. But don't trust rumors. Only nasty gossipers spread rumors.
==========================================

Raven:
Tovor you on vacation like Blizzard or with her?
What is a vacation? Refer to Rule #3.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

<span style="color:7030FF">How come you never ask my advice in Dear Starra are you offended by me do you not like me do you think I'm stupid, What?</span>

[Darth Darthy]

Dear Tovor,
I came here seeking enrichment. So where's the money then?

[Tovor]

Those who call me Tovor in this thread will not be addressed. Here I am the Retort Man*. Seek out the Retort Man*, for in this thread Tovor will not reply.



So sayith the Retort Man*



*Name subject to change whenever.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

<span style="color:7030FF">So then will the Retort man be seeking my advice in Dear Starra?</span>

[tunafishgirl]

Originally posted by Tovor@Sep 9 2002, 08:12 PM
I am very proud of you, but I hate to think that without the coffee you couldn't have focused your train of thought.
Retort Man:

have no fear...i can think without coffee. however, i get up at 4 a.m. and am at work by 6 a.m., so it takes me a little bit to really wake up in the morning.

anyway, i'm glad to see you responded. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

when did you write LOTS?

[Tovor]

RAD:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>So then will the Retort man be seeking my advice in Dear Starra? [/b][/quote]
You forgot to capitalize the Man after Retort. That should not be forgiven, yet it shall.
I shall seek your counsel in Dear Starra. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/blush.gif

[Trilogist]

Dear Mr. Retort Man sir:

1. What is Blue Fairy?

2. Is it possible, by simply reading the ingredients of chewing gum, to unlock the secrets of the universe?

3. Can a true artist, or a person possessed of a certain creative force, be profitable? In other words, should one pursue it as a career?

[Javen]

skip*

[flo fett]

Dear Retort Man of questionable gingerishness,
i have merely a few questions to ask of you this night

1. Is it okay to find the old Obi-wan Kenobi attractive or am I ill?

2. Do you think it would have been forward of me to ask Jeremy Bulloch out on date after he said I had a lovely name, or do you think his wife would have had my guts for garters?

3. Does anyone who is registered with ICQ actually ever use it?

I wait with baited breath for your knowledge of these things

[Darth Vegas]

Dear Retort Man,


What is the Matrix?

[Rinc]

Retort Man

What would you do if i sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me?

[bodhisattva yoda]

legitimate question:

how did padme guess that dooku was behind the assassination attempts?

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Mr.Retort Man,
How do I stop Darthy from telling me his toe story?

[Darth Vegas]

Retort Man, why are brussel sprouts so nasty?


Just how much wood can a wood chuck chuck?


Is floss necessary, what is its true usage?


What's better, PS2, X-BOX, Gamecube, or Atari?


Why am I looking down at Wayne's basement, but it's not Wayne's basment?


Help me Retort Man, you're my only hope.

[Tovor]

Trilogist:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>1. What is Blue Fairy?
2. Is it possible, by simply reading the ingredients of chewing gum, to unlock the secrets of the universe?
3. Can a true artist, or a person possessed of a certain creative force, be profitable? In other words, should one pursue it as a career?[/b][/quote]
1. A book of fairy tales, children's stories without a clear plotline or logical sequences and outcomes.
2. Yes, and the secrets of the universe are: Corn Syrup, Glycerin, Artificial and Natural Flavoring, Softener (Soy Lecithin), and Red 40 Lake. I told you this thread would enlighten you. Now chew on that data for awhile.
3. No. That's why I became a moderator. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/eh.gif

==========================================
Flo Fett:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>1. Is it okay to find the old Obi-wan Kenobi attractive or am I ill?
2. Do you think it would have been forward of me to ask Jeremy Bulloch out on date after he said I had a lovely name, or do you think his wife would have had my guts for garters?
3. Does anyone who is registered with ICQ actually ever use it?
I wait with baited breath for your knowledge of these things.[/b][/quote]
1. Many women find old men attractive, especially the ones who can still use their lightsabers. If you were a man, however, it's a "Don't ask, don't tell" issue.
2. Yes and yes.
3. Some people do. Some other people think it's a pain in the ass because if you don't minimize the contact window it stays right in your way.
You'd better gargle some mouthwash for that baited breath you have. What are you trying to do, lure a sturgeon to your hook?
==========================================

Rinc:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What would you do if i sang out of tune, would you stand up and walk out on me? [/b][/quote]
Yes, and I would throw my wine in your lap too. Singing out of tune is no way to serenade a guy.
==========================================

bodhisattva yoda:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>how did padme guess that dooku was behind the assassination attempts? [/b][/quote]
It was a gut feeling she had. You could tell she used her guts by studying her perfectly curved and toned abdomen muscles toward the end. The truth always comes out in the end, and I was studying her end evertime she had her back to the camera. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/saber.gif
==========================================

R.A.D.:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How do I stop Darthy from telling me his toe story? [/b][/quote]Tell him a detailed diarrhea story.
==========================================

Agent Bond:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>1- why are brussel sprouts so nasty?
2- Just how much wood can a wood chuck chuck?
3- Is floss necessary, what is its true usage?
4- What's better, PS2, X-BOX, Gamecube, or Atari?
5- Why am I looking down at Wayne's basement, but it's not Wayne's basment?[/b][/quote]
1- They aren't. They are great with melted butter. Smart men eat their veggies. That's how Retort Man came to be so wise.
2- Wood chucks would not chuck wood and have no desire to. There was a mass woodchuck protest in Canada recently, due to unfair stereotyping by city folks who wrongly accused them of being wood chuckers.
3- Yes, floss is necessary. It's true usage is to maintain a space between each tooth to prevent them from crowding each other.
4- Atari. Always stick with the originals, even if they are from the dark ages.
5- Because either you are confused, or Wayne lives in his basement but is too ashamed to admit that it's his basement.
==========================================[

[Darth Vegas]

Originally posted by Agent Bond A.KA. TK-007@Sep 11 2002, 11:20 AM
Dear Retort Man,


What is the Matrix?
Hey you forgot to answer this one Retort Man!!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif


Why do slugs choose to live outside their shells, yet snails seem to be so stubborn? Why aren't snails open to new ideas?

Why does fruit grow on trees, instead of in the fruit bowl?

What is it with money? Why do I always seem not to have any?

Why does asparagus make your piss smell like poop?

Whose better? Pulp Fiction John Travolta, or Battlefield Earth John Travolta?

Is there really no spoon?

How come Vader gestures his hand after he's speaking, when he is no longer speaking, in the scene in ANH where the officer comes 9into the room and announces to Tarkin that the Rebel base on Dantooine was abandoned? In Star Wars answer please.

Whose got a better taco, Taco Bell, or Natalie Portman?

[flo fett]

Originally posted by Tovor@Sep 13 2002, 11:29 AM
You'd better gargle some mouthwash for that baited breath you have. What are you trying to do, lure a sturgeon to your hook?

What can I say? It's the only way, I'm a desperate woman.

[Tovor]

Agent Bond:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What is the Matrix?[/b][/quote]
The Matrix is life and the world around us. Your life is not real. The world around you is not real. The Matrix is what your brain is hooked up to, convincing you that what you do, see, hear, and feel, is real. But everything is composed of ones and zeros, combined in countless sequences to make the images in your head of what is reality and material seem real.


You have broken Rule #1 not once but twice. Shame on you. Therefore your questions will no longer be answered unless and until you adhere to Rule #1. Retort Man has spoken. So let it be written, so let it be fun. Have a nice day. :mad:

[freedom01851]

Originally posted by Agent Bond A.KA. TK-007@Sep 13 2002, 02:56 AM
Whose got a better taco, Taco Bell, or Natalie Portman?
Retort Man, if I may be presumptuous, I would like to try to answer this one.

While many have had the chance to taste Taco Bell's taco, I do believe that there are very few who have had the chance to see Natalie Portman's taco, much less taste it. Although, I do believe that she is probably like everyone else, she probably buys the hard taco shells in the box at the supermarket, which are always much more difficult to eat than a soft-shelled taco supreme at Taco Bell.

If Retort Man does have an appropriate answer, having tasted both tacos, I myself would be quite impressed.

[tunafishgirl]

Retort Man:

how come you never answered my question???

when did you write LOTS?

[Javen]

the Retort Man
Do you think that I will still be alive when Haleys Comet comes back close by Earth?

[Darth Drew]

<font style='width=80%; filter:glow(color=firebrick)'><span style="color:silver">Retort-Man
Why won't Starra turn to the dark side?</span></font>

[Dark Jedi]

If a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it does it make a sound? Does it even fall at all? Or does not the tree exist?






The ultimate Question:WHY?

[Tovor]

Freedom:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>If Retort Man does have an appropriate answer, having tasted both tacos, I myself would be quite impressed.
[/b][/quote]
So you're asking me which one is juicier? Sorry, but although Taco Bell thrives on advertising, Nat does not. And being the gentleman that I am, I do not kiss and tell taco tales. http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/otn/funny/jump1.gif
=======================================

tunadame:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>how come you never answered my question???
when did you write LOTS? [/b][/quote]
Because I forgot. This is not an easy job, you know. Being this wise does take a toll you know.
When, when, when. About 3 years ago I first came up with several ideas for the story and wrote a rough outline for a possible novel but with no real plans to seek a publisher for it. I was trying to work on several other stories at the time, but a few months later I took the story more seriously and set down to develope a draft summary. And that I did. The novel is not completed but the story is fully fleshed out with a descriptive start, a more detailed ending, and a lot of good stuff in between. The summary, what I call a detailed outline, is a good draft about 115 pages long. I worked on it more after that, but I haven't had time or organization to get back into it in more than a year. When I do get back to it, it is the first of a two book series, and although my story in my mind ends with book 2, further thought and development has led me to consider a 3rd for a solid trilogy.
=======================================

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Do you think that I will still be alive when Haleys Comet comes back close by Earth? [/b][/quote]
Nope. You'll be as dead as Dole's dingaling. Sorry. http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/tweetz/headshake.gif

[Tovor]

Darth Drew:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Retort-Man
Why won't Starra turn to the dark side?
[/b][/quote]
Because she's a starra, and starras prefer to twinkle.
=======================================

Dark Jedi:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>If a tree falls in a forest and there is no one there to hear it does it make a sound? Does it even fall at all? Or does not the tree exist? [/b][/quote]
The tree does not exist, because nothing is really real in the Matrix; it's all images projected into your mind. But you aren't supposed to know about that.
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it will not make a sound. Even if there is somebody there to hear it, it still does not make a sound. The tree falling, and hitting the ground, causes vibrations in the air. The eardrum picks up those vibrations and sends the signals to the brain, which interprets the vibrations affecting the eardrum as sound. Without the eardrum to recieve and the brain to interpret the vibrations, there is no sound. Even with a person near to "hear" the fallen tree, there still is no sound. Sound is only in the mind, outside of which, there are merely vibrations in the air.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>The ultimate Question: [u]WHY?[/quote]
"Be you why?"? Because if I wasn't me, I'd be someone else. Duh.

[Darth Vegas]

1: Why do slugs choose to live outside their shells, yet snails seem to be so stubborn? Why aren't snails open to new ideas?


2: Whose better, and why?

A- Pulp Fiction John Travolta

B- Battlefield Earth John Travolta

C- Face Off John Travolta

D- White Man's Burden John Travolta


3: Why did Spider-Man suck?


4: How come Vader gestures his hand after he's speaking, when he is no longer speaking, in the scene in ANH where the officer comes into the room and announces to Tarkin that the Rebel base on Dantooine was abandoned? In Star Wars universe answer please.


My FOUR questions Retort Man, would you be so kind as to answer them?

I never did read the rules until now, now I know!!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

[Javen]

Uh....Did you just compare me being dead with Bob Doles dingaling?http://216.40.249.192/mysmilies/contrib/xerx/smileydavid.gif

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

<span style="color:7030FF">Why in the style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif was Amory banned?</span>

[freedom01851]

Retort Man,

This one has had me perplexed since the very first time that I had seen The Munsters on TV as a little kid.

When a frankenstein monster and a vampire have a child, why does it come out being a werewolf?

[Tovor]

This is not the place to discuss anyone's banning. I like Amory, but if I kept writing T'bone messages insulting him and putting his efforts down, and sending him PM's with statements to upset him, he would ban me as well. But that is purely a hypothetical example, and cannot be discussed further in this thread. But rejoice, for you have Obi-Wan and Padme back.
=======================================

Javen, Haley's Comet comes around every 76 years, right? And that is about Dole's age, right? And he needs Viagra, right? I did not compare you to his dingdong, I only implied that when the comet comes back you will be as dead as his droopy dangler is now. Heh heh heh. The Retort Man has delivered his wit. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

=======================================

Agent Bond:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> 1: Why do slugs choose to live outside their shells, yet snails seem to be so stubborn? Why aren't snails open to new ideas?
2: Whose better, and why?
A- Pulp Fiction John Travolta
B- Battlefield Earth John Travolta
C- Face Off John Travolta
D- White Man's Burden John Travolta
3: Why did Spider-Man suck?
4: How come Vader gestures his hand after he's speaking, when he is no longer speaking, in the scene in ANH where the officer comes into the room and announces to Tarkin that the Rebel base on Dantooine was abandoned? In Star Wars universe answer please.
My FOUR questions Retort Man, would you be so kind as to answer them?
[/b][/quote]
That was five questions, Bond. If you hadn't asked me if I would answer your four questions, you would have had only four and I would have answered. Sorry, try again. Remember...four. Not five. Four. And then I will answer your four for sure. But if you give me five I will give you no jive. Now try again and keep the thread alive. http://www.uniquehardware.co.uk/server-smilies/contrib/blackeye/lol.gif

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Hello! Why do some people never grow up?</span>

[Tovor]

Freedom:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>This one has had me perplexed since the very first time that I had seen The Munsters on TV as a little kid.
When a frankenstein monster and a vampire have a child, why does it come out being a werewolf?
[/b][/quote]
Do'h! You have asked the Retort Man a question which spans the realm of knowledge and understanding, one of the most perplexing and likewise important questions the human race has yet had to deal with, a question only the Retort Man can answer satisfactorarily. But aren't you more concerned with Marilyn's relationship to the nuts and bolt patches and threads family of monstrousity? No? Alright then. Here is the answer you seek...Lily Munster was not a vampire. You misunderstood the relationship between her and Grampa, who certainly was a vampire. Grampa, the mad scientist, rather than Doctor Frankenstein, was the one who assembled Herman Munster from human and mechanical parts. He was Herman's creator. Anyone who recognized Lily's resemblance to the Bride of Frankenstein would have deduced that Grampa "created" her from the unlife as well. Eddie would have been a normal child born from two parents built from spare parts, but he was the result of too many spare animal follicles spliced in for extra flavoring and far too many hormone genes that leaked from haphhazardly kept test tubes.

[BL-17]

You play Ultima Online, too, huh?

[Darth Vegas]

1: Why do slugs choose to live outside their shells, yet snails seem to be so stubborn? Why aren't snails open to new ideas?


2: Whose better, and why?

A- Pulp Fiction John Travolta

B- Battlefield Earth John Travolta

C- Face Off John Travolta

D- White Man's Burden John Travolta


3: Why did Spider-Man suck?


4: How come Vader gestures his hand after he's speaking, when he is no longer speaking, in the scene in ANH where the officer comes into the room and announces to Tarkin that the Rebel base on Dantooine was abandoned? (In Star Wars universe answer please!!)


My <span style="font-size:12pt;line-height:100%"><span style="color:blue">FOUR</span></span>
questions Retort Man!!!!!



OK, hope I got it right this time. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

[Tovor]

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Hello! Why do some people never grow up? [/b][/quote]
You did not address me in the proper manner. I am the Retort Man. In the future I will not respond to those who do not address me properly. But since you have returned after your hiatus and I welcome you back, I will answer this once. But read the rules on the first page, they are there for a reason. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Hello! Why do some people never grow up? [/b][/quote]
Some do not want to. Some are physically incapable due to a growth abnormality they were born with. Others are mentally incapable due to low levels of maturity hormones in their brains. Still more choose to act like children because they felt they missed out on their younger years and still strive to relive them. Certain people are remorseful and regretful because due to emotional problems such as long term permanent clinical depression, they never got to appreciate their lives when they were younger, and for that reason have hesitation regarding accepting their age and a past they cannot go back to.
And then, there are certain others who act annoying and outgoing simply because they are dying to have fun and that involves joking ceaselessly with others in the hopes that those others will joke back, even though some others either don't wish to or don't feel comfortable doing so in the same way.

Did that answer your question?
========================================

BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> You play Ultima Online, too, huh?[/b][/quote]
Nope. I never played nor saw that game.
========================================

Agent Bond:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> 1: Why do slugs choose to live outside their shells, yet snails seem to be so stubborn? Why aren't snails open to new ideas?
2: Whose better, and why?
A- Pulp Fiction John Travolta
B- Battlefield Earth John Travolta
C- Face Off John Travolta
D- White Man's Burden John Travolt
3: Why did Spider-Man suck?
4: How come Vader gestures his hand after he's speaking, when he is no longer speaking, in the scene in ANH where the officer comes into the room and announces to Tarkin that the Rebel base on Dantooine was abandoned? (In Star Wars universe answer please!!)[/b][/quote]

1-Because snails are not idiots. They have witnessed the cruel human act of pouring salt upon defenseless slugs to watch them dissolve, writhing in pain. The snails stay in their shells out of simple common sense; an attribute the suicidal slugs never seem to use.
2-White Man's Burden. Travolta played the other side of the racial fence well, portraying a white man suffering from the racism and segregation many black folks have long dealt with. It was a hard role for a white man to carry off convincingly, and he did it well.
3-Spider Man did not suck. It was a good movie. However, it was a one-timer viewing, not the kind of film with the right dialogue and action scenes to warrant enjoyment of multiple viewings. Yet, this summer it appeared to eclipse AOTC, the first time any Star Wars film was ever outdone by a competing film release.
4-My theory is that GL is planning with the Ultimate Edition to insert some prequel-related dialogue into that sequence to match Vader's gestures. On the other hand, in a cut slip of dialogue, Tarkin had admonished Vader, telling him, "You're losing your train of thought again you putz!. Once again you forgot what you were going to tell me, yet gestured with your hand out of confusion as if I was going to hear your silent words regardless."
========================================

Dark Jedi:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>The ultimate Question:WHY?[/b][/quote]
The Ultimate Answer: WHY NOT?

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Retort Man there are you happy I said it

Why in the style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/censored.gif was Amory banned?

[Javen]

Didn't Retort Man answer the question about Armory?

In a hypothetical way of course style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

No of course he did not but I think I know anyways so it doesn't really matter I guess.

[Javen]

Retort Man, am I going to be banned because of that icon up above in my post?

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Oh thank you Mr. Retort Man. You have much knowledge! You answered my question very well. Thank you so much. How did you come about all of your knowledge?</span>

[BL-17]

Retort Man,

How could you have not played Ultima On-line if you had pictures of those creatures in your signature before?

How many times, by the end of Ep. III, will Yoda have sighed and shook his head silently to himself in the entire Star Wars saga?

[Darth Vegas]

Dear Retort Man,

Thanks for answering my questions, I have been truly enlightened!!!!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/thumbsup.gif

Now for some more questions:

1: What would Jean Claude Van Damme be like as a Starfleet Captain?

2:^Same for Dolph Lundgren

3:^Same for George Carlin

4:^Same for Sean Connery

[Tovor]

RAD:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Retort Man there are you happy I said it

[/b][/quote]
Yes. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif Starra, read through the Feedback threads. The banning was not a secret. Read the discussions there and the light shall be seen.
========================================

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Retort Man, am I going to be banned because of that icon up above in my post?[/b][/quote]
The owners and admin haven't noticed it yet, so give me a while to direct their attention to it and then I'll answer your question, okay?

Heh. No, not that one. I'll get Vader to add some clarification, because there are some vulger ones in that section that he was warning against. To be safe, however, don't use any from that section in the future.
========================================

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> Oh thank you Mr. Retort Man. You have much knowledge! You answered my question very well. Thank you so much. How did you come about all of your knowledge? [/b][/quote]
You're welcome. You're welcome so much. You wish to know how I came about all of my knowledge? Do you remember the near fatal incident when I split my head open on the road after I was hit by a car? When they put my brain pieces back into my head, much of the road surface remained stuck to the plump and wet parts of my brain, so you could say I inherited a good deal of street smarts.
========================================

BL-17:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>1-How could you have not played Ultima On-line if you had pictures of those creatures in your signature before?
2-How many times, by the end of Ep. III, will Yoda have sighed and shook his head silently to himself in the entire Star Wars saga?
[/b][/quote]
I'll answer #2 first. My answer is that I am not allowed to answer. If I told you, I would breaking my non-disclosure agreement with George Lucas.

#1-I also never dropped a refridgerator on anyone's head, but that has nothing to do with using this smiley:
http://www.gamers-forums.com/smilies/contrib/slim2g/Fridge.gif
=======================================

Agent Bond, you are welcome.
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>1: What would Jean Claude Van Damme be like as a Starfleet Captain?
2:^Same for Dolph Lundgren
3:^Same for George Carlin
4:^Same for Sean Connery [/b][/quote]

1- Dull. But would kick serious alien butt even against a Klingon with a bat'leth.

2-"He is merely a 'red shirt', if he dies...he dies." (Think Rocky 4)

3-"Spock, we've been flying around this gahddang solar system like a couple of crazy mothers, searching up Mars and Venus and Uranus. Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it."

4- "Beam me down, Moneypenny. I've got a meeting date with Poosey."
========================================

Obi-Wan:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> Hey Retort Man, Which is better Galactic Senate or TheForce.Net? [/b][/quote]
That is analogous to comparing Star Wars to Star Trek. Star Trek has more movies, books, and teleplays and a lot of it is true entertainment, but in scope and impact the quality of the former still outshines the quantity of the latter.

So sayith the Retort Man. A Star Trek fan, but a Star Wars fanatic. With good reason and without unfair bias.

[Obi-Wan]

<span style="color:blue">Hey Retort Man, Which is better Galactic Senate or TheForce.Net? </span>

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Obi that is not a question to ask a GS mod style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sly.gif You need someone who goes to both sites and is not a mod unless they are a mod on both.

[Tovor]

Bond and Obi-Wan have been answered.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Retort Man why didn't you answer my question could it be that you don't know the answer or you don't like me I'm lost here?

[Tovor]

RAD, what question? The only one you asked was about Amory, and I answered that.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Yeah but I still don't get it he told me he and they said he and I'm all mixed up and he di this and I read that and I'm still confussed. He showed me those posts and he showed me the PM's that helped him get banned and then he e-mailed me and It's all too much.

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'> Yeah but I still don't get it he told me he and they said he and I'm all mixed up and he di this and I read that and I'm still confussed. [/b][/quote]
I'm confussed too. Not about Amory but about what you wrote. I read that several times and I still can't make heads or tails out of what you tried to write. If you want an answer other than what I told you and what you can read for yourself in the thread where the banning was announced, ask T'bone yourself. What do you want me to tell you, that he was banned because the square root of 93x14.7 divided by a sponge fish versus 33.1.34.31.22 wrapped up in old newspaper tied with a pink shoelace nicked in 4.9 different places exactly one centimeter apart is the solution to all things unknowable? :look: Would that make you feel better?

[Javen]

Retort Man

Do you think Star Wars EPIII, will equal or surpass both
AOTC and ESB?which by the way are 2 of my fovorite SW episodes)

[Padme]

<span style="color:red"> Mr. Retort Man, What profession do you think I would be good at?</span>

[Blizzard]

Dear Poptart Man,

When will I find a decent man to marry?

[BL-17]

Retort Man,

Why are people no longer asking me questions at the Ask Mr. Know-it-all (http://www.galacticsenate.com/index.php?act=ST&f=19&t=1136&st=925) thread? Are people under the impression I have lost my answering capabilities? Is my soap no longer doing what it should? Or is it that I've simply been forgotten?

[Tovor]

BL-17, you have to take control and be outgoing and confident. I posted a few questions over the last 2 days, did you answer? No.

[Tovor]

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Do you think Star Wars EPIII, will equal or surpass both AOTC and ESB?[/b][/quote]
Yes.

Blizzee:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>When will I find a decent man to marry? [/b][/quote]
Six months, 26 days from now, starting from the day before yesterday.

[Tovor]

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Mr. Retort Man, What profession do you think I would be good at? [/b][/quote]
You would be a good psychotherapist. You could then help people like Darthy and lessen their desperate need to tell women about their toe and wart problems.

[Darth Vegas]

Retort Man,

What is the ultimate goal of the average Star Wars fanatic and why?

A) To meet face to face with god (GL)

B) To go around in public dressed as a stormtrooper because he/she thinks its a fashion statement

C) To grow in all worthless knowledge of useless crap

D) All of the above

[BL-17]

Originally posted by Tovor@Sep 17 2002, 11:24 PM
BL-17, you have to take control and be outgoing and confident. I posted a few questions over the last 2 days, did you answer? No.
I thought those questions were being addressed to Obi-Wan... I now realize I was mistaken.

Thank you, Retort Man.

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Mr. Retort Man, If you can see into my future, what man am I going to marry? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif </span>

[Kit]

Originally posted by Padme@Sep 19 2002, 12:49 AM
<span style="color:red">Mr. Retort Man, If you can see into my future, what man am I going to marry? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif </span>
Padme, I, and everyone here can answer that. Your future (but actually, current) husband is Anakin Skywalker. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">HA!HA! I mean in real life, not the Star Wars galaxy! That would be fine as long as its Hayden Christiansen! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif </span>

[Lara]

Why do I seem to beg for someone's attention? why don't I accept that that said person doesn't want anything to do with me? why do some ppl give up when it's their turn to work on a relationship? will I ever stop hurting? will I ever get this person out of my mind? why do I lack so much self-esteem?

[Lara]

Dear Gracious Retort Man, (I like Poptart Man better style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif )

How did it feel to hear my voice? (email me this one, oh mighty one style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif )

Why do I keep seeing bald guys all over the place?

[Javen]

Javen:
[QUOTE]Do you think Star Wars EPIII, will equal or surpass both AOTC and ESB?
Yes.

Yes to equal or surpass?

[Tovor]

Agent Bond, the one with a way so long user name:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>What is the ultimate goal of the average Star Wars fanatic and why?
A) To meet face to face with god (GL)
B) To go around in public dressed as a stormtrooper because he/she thinks its a fashion statement
C) To grow in all worthless knowledge of useless crap
D) All of the above [/b][/quote]

You are average, right? And you are here asking me questions, right? Therefore the most obvious answer is C)To grow in all worthless knowledge of useless crap.
========================================

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Mr. Retort Man, If you can see into my future, what man am I going to marry? [/b][/quote]
Well. duh-uhh! Your future husband is the man you are going to marry. http://216.40.241.68/otn/love/smlove2.gif (He's the one on the left.)
========================================

Darthlara:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>will I ever stop hurting? will I ever get this person out of my mind? why do I lack so much self-esteem? [/b][/quote]
Yes, after you take Excedrin PM. Yes, when you squeeze your mind like a sponge he will drip out. Because your body does not have enough water, heat, and esteam outlet tubes to produsa enougha self-esteama.

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Why do I keep seeing bald guys all over the place? [/b][/quote]
Are they in NY too? Damn! T'bone told me that there are about a hundred guys who look just like me in New Jersey. I realized that the sperm donation I made in Jersey 10 years ago has been used by the Jerseyminioans to secretely clone 100 Tovors. And now there are more bald Tovor clones in NY, "the Empire State"? This is scary, like a SW movie coming to life, Star Balls, Episode Too, "Attack of the Tovor Clones." Report them ASAP to the proper anti-clone committees before they rise up and take over, or have sex with all 100 of them to see if they are like the real thing.
========================================

Javen:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Yes to equal or surpass? [/b][/quote]
Equal doesn't taste like sugar sir, so sir,pass. I'll take Sweet n Low.

[Blizzard]

Dear Poptart Man:

Why April 10th, 2003? What is the signifigance of April 10th, 2003?

[Lara]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Are they in NY too? Damn! T'bone told me that there are about a hundred guys who look just like me in New Jersey. I realized that the sperm donation I made in Jersey 10 years ago has been used by the Jerseyminioans to secretely clone 100 Tovors. And now there are more bald Tovor clones in NY, "the Empire State"? This is scary, like a SW movie coming to life, Star Balls, Episode Too, "Attack of the Tovor Clones." Report them ASAP to the proper anti-clone committees before they rise up and take over, or have sex with all 100 of them to see if they are like the real thing.
[/b][/quote]

LMAO! Mr. Retort Man, I'm afraid nothing beats the real thing! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sly.gif

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Mr. Retort Man, Why are younger brothers so annoying?</span>

[Tovor]

Blizzee:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Why April 10th, 2003? What is the signifigance of April 10th, 2003? [/b][/quote]
I am not exactly sure if it is to be April 10 because seeing into the future is not my specialty without the assistance of my "Time to Look into the Future" thread. But what I do see in my fuzzy and vague visions are connections between your wedding and historic events of the past. They say Rome wasn't built in a day, but traditionally Rome is believed to have been founded on April 21st, 753B.C., and likewise your destined marriage wasn't built in a day, but will culminate in April of 2003. Also, the Library of Congress was established on April 24, 1800, and you are a librarian so there's a connection there. Pocahontas married John Rolfe on April 5th, so there is the romantic connection. Robert Peary reached what he claimed was the North Pole on April 6, 1909, and that fits with your name Blizzard, as well as you reaching for your husband's pole in April. Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's home run record on April 8, 1974, and I see some guy scoring another type of home run on that date in 2003. Yuri Gagarin was the first man to orbit the Earth on April 12, 1961, and I see some guy, possibly of Russian descent, going around the world with you. Paul Revere made his famous ride on April 18, 1775, shouting "The British are coming!", so that might coincide with your wedding night, possibly with a British husband. Also on April 18, the San Fransisco fire and earthquake began in 1906, and the vision shows your passions being ignited and someone rocking your world, so maybe your future husband will be a half and half Brit/Russian raised in San Fransisco, who marries you and gives you his Rice a Rony, "the San Fransisco treat". But more importantly, April is the flowering of Spring which began in March, and in April the birds fly north again, small animals that hibernate come out of their hibernation, the birds and the beez start buzzing and sucking nectar from the flowers already blooming. They also say that April showers bring May flowers, so something wet may bring some growth from something long overdue. And that is why I am absolutely certain that your wedding will be in April of 2003. Or 2004.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

I would also like the answer to padme's question Mr.Retort man. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Mr. Retort Man, Why am I so obsessed with Trading Spaces?</span>

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Mr.Retort man what is Trading Spaces? I'm a bit confussed.

[Tovor]

R.A.D.:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>I would also like the answer to padme's question Mr.Retort man.
[/b][/quote]
Okay, no problem. Here it is:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Padme:
Mr. Retort Man, If you can see into my future, what man am I going to marry?
Retort Man:
Well. duh-uhh! Your future husband is the man you are going to marry. [/b][/quote]
There you go, the answer to Padme's question. Happy? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

No no her question about little brothers. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

[Aayla]

Originally posted by Rebel Astromech Droid@Sep 21 2002, 08:45 AM
No no her question about little brothers. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif
<span style="color:red">Yes, I would like to see this question's answer.</span>

[Kit]

RAD,
The TV show, Trading Spaces is a show my mom is, too, obsessed with. And it interrupts some of the occasionally good programing on TLC.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Kit,
That doesn't help me much. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sly.gif :look: style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif

[Blizzard]

How did you get to be so damn brilliant, Mr. T?

[Jamielee]

Well, starra, its seems to me like anyone who watches more than 1 or 2 episodes of that becomes automatically addicted, so you're not alone!

[Kit]

Jamielee are you implying that I am addicted to that? Because I'm really not.... my mom though........ ???

[Tovor]

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Mr. Retort Man, Why are younger brothers so annoying? [/b][/quote]
Because you are ANNOYABLE. Little brothers are like mosquito bites. The more you scratch them, the more annoying the itch becomes. If you leave the window of opportunity open, they will flap and flutter in like invited vampires and become pain in the necks. Wait, hold that, that was the answer about older sisters I was giving you. My bad. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

Where was I? Oh yes, younger brothers, why are they so annoying? Because you are annoyable, and you let them annoy you. Big sisters, the next time little brothers annoy you, threaten to give your girlfriends a tour of their "clean" underwear drawer, and then do it. I assure you, little brothers will either never annoy you again, or they will become more careful of skid marks next time. :roll:

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Originally posted by Jamielee@Sep 22 2002, 02:11 AM
Well, starra, its seems to me like anyone who watches more than 1 or 2 episodes of that becomes automatically addicted, so you're not alone!
I've never even seen trading spaces I don't even know what it is. Padme is the addicted one not me. :look: style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/unhappy.gif style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/eh.gif

[Tovor]

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Mr. Retort Man, Why am I so obsessed with Trading Spaces? [/b][/quote]
Cause you're a female, and females like going into other people's houses and passing judgement on their furnishings and choice of decor, and deciding how they could make their neighbor's rooms look better. And because if someone else paid for the changes and supplied the materials, (http://tlc.discovery.com/fansites/tradingspaces/tradingspaces.html) females would jump at the chance to show their neighbors how they think their neighbors should live.
You obsession comes from your dissatisfaction with one of the rooms of the home of one of your neighbors, and your nagging desire to redecorate that room to your own taste and style with someone else's money, while showing off your own decorative choices on tv.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Mr.Retort Man why have the mods neglected to do anything about streen's posts in the Com Chatter? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/mad.gif

[Tovor]

Cause we thought that was a pic of you. Isn't it? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

That isn't funny style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Yes. But the problem is I only want to watch the episodes with the guy carpenter. I just can't break away from Trading Spaces!</span>

[Tovor]

The pics are now gone, gals.

[Rebel Astromech Droid]

Thank you kindly Mr.Retort Man but why doesn't anyone like my new sig?

[Lara]

Blizzee, cause you'll come and visit me, we'll go out some place, there will be a guy, among all of the guys that look at you, who'll fall in love with you and marry you style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

[Tovor]

Padme:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Yes. But the problem is I only want to watch the episodes with the guy carpenter. [/b][/quote]
You must like the way he screws. (reread Rules #11 and #12.)

RAD:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Thank you kindly Mr.Retort Man but why doesn't anyone like my new sig? [/b][/quote]
It's too big, colorful, and distracting. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/eh.gif

[Lara]

Bad, bad, bad Mr. Poptart man! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/sly.gif

[Lara]

Mr. Retort Man, why does my big toe refuse to speak to my small toe?

[Tovor]

Yeah, my bad. At least I didn't say anything about getting nailed.

[Lara]

Well, I've always liked that side of ya! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

[Blizzard]

I think Padme's parents aren't going to like that... again...

[Tovor]

Refer to Rule 11 and Rule 12.

#11) This thread will be geared more toward the message board fans of the older generation, plus those younger who can handle it here.
#12) Although I am a moderator, here I am the Retort Man*. You can be a little looser in this thread, but remember the board rules anyway. Respect all other participants here. Do not defy me. I am the Retort Man*.

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>How did you get to be so damn brilliant, Mr. T?[/b][/quote]
Such brilliance comes with age and mileage. And for me, the benefit of being overwieght is that aquired and formulated knowledge is stored in my fat cells for quick access.

[Tovor]

Darthlara:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Mr. Retort Man, why does my big toe refuse to speak to my small toe? [/b][/quote]
Two reasons. One reason is the constant interruptions of the 3 toes in between. The other reason is that toes don't have vocal chords.

[Kit]

Originally posted by Tovor@Sep 22 2002, 11:21 PM
Darthlara:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Mr. Retort Man, why does my big toe refuse to speak to my small toe?
Two reasons. One reason is the constant interruptions of the 3 toes in between. The other reason is that toes don't have vocal chords.[/b][/quote]
But they do have access to tongues. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

Lord, that was offal style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif

[Padme]

<span style="color:red">Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha! Ha!Ha!</span>

[Javen]

If a person voluntarily wanted to be banned for doing nothing wrong, could they?

[tunafishman]

Dear Mr. Retortman:

Where the hell have I been ?!? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/eh.gif

[Tovor]

<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>If a person voluntarily wanted to be banned for doing nothing wrong, could they?
[/b][/quote]
It's easy. Just hit the LogOut button at the top of your screen. Heh heh heh.

[Lara]

Kit, LOL!!! eeeew, just what Tov likes, tongues and toes :0 style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif

LOL! Tov.

Blizzee, ya know me, my mind's in the gutter.

[Kit]

Originally posted by DarthLara@Sep 23 2002, 04:49 AM
Kit, LOL!!! eeeew, just what Tov likes, tongues and toes :0 style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif

LOL! Tov.

Blizzee, ya know me, my mind's in the gutter.
style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif Too much info about the Retort Man (AKA/ Tovor) style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

[Tovor]

"Toes", Lara? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif Ewwwyyyuk. You must have me confused with some other guy with a foot fetish. I don't even eat tomatoes because they have toes on the end. I don't even like touching my own feet. I don't even like using yardsticks because they have three feet. I don't like breaking world records because those are feats. The Retort Man* has been repulsed.




*Current title subject to change at any moment, any time. Without notice, warning, or reason.

[Tovor]

tunafishman:
<div class='quotetop'>QUOTE</div><div class='quotemain'>Where the hell have I been ?!? [/b][/quote]
What? Who are you? You have the nerve to come here and ask the Retort Man* a question after all