JackBauer24
08-12-2006, 12:10 AM
Audio commentary dos and don’ts.
DON’T give away all of your secrets. Sometimes, the best part of movies is not knowing how things are done. We don’t need to know every little detail of the making of the movie, especially when it comes to the special and/or practical effects. EXAMPLE: In his commentary of Men in Black, director Barry Sonnenfeld spends half the movie citing the shots that were real and which were CGI. WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW!
DON’T play location spotter. We really don’t care if this shot was filmed in California or that shot was filmed in Bum****, Maryland and we don’t need to hear about it.
DO feel free to digress, to a certain point. Some of the best moments of audio commentaries have come from discussions that have gone beyond the scope of the movie itself. As long as the digression is interesting, of course.
DON’T feel forced to have the entire cast on the commentary; sometimes, actors aren’t interesting in real life. It’s best that we don’t have to listen to them sometimes. This goes especially for those commentaries without strong lead commentators that can help get responses from the actors. Nothing worse for the commentary than to have long silent stretches. EXAMPLE: In the Se7en commentary, the usually wonderful Morgan Freeman has very little in the way of interesting comments and just drags the whole commentary down.
DO have more than one person in the commentary. Talking to oneself is generally considered a sign of insanity.
DON’T point out the obvious. We’re watching the movie. We can SEE that event X is happening on screen.
DO give credit where credit’s due. There is nothing wrong with thanking the various people for their contributions to the film.
DON’T play the date game. Nobody cares what scene was filmed when. If you HAVE to, mention the start of filming and/or the end of filming. THAT’s IT.
DO have fun. You’re in the coolest ****ing profession in the world, and now you get to talk about it! Don’t act like you’re being tortured as you do this.
DON’T be afraid to tell the truth. If you had problems with someone on set, talk! We want to hear it. Now, don’t burn your bridges or anything, but don’t pretend like everything was completely perfect on set, either. EXAMPLE: In the Dogma commentary tracks, Kevin Smith fully admits that there were problems on set with Linda Fiorentino. But he does it in a rather diplomatic way.
DO reminisce. This rule applies more to older films. Sometimes the best stories to talk about come from the set of the film. Talk about it!
DON’T stop when you’re on a roll. Too many times, commentaries get into the most interesting discussions at the very end of the movie/tv episode and are forced to cut short with the end of the credits. If the discussion is interesting, keep it going! Even if the DVD producers have to throw up some film stills or something, we may want to hear what you’ve got to say.
DO discuss cut scenes/footage. Okay, as fans of the material, we are interested in hearing what didn’t make it in. Talk about it! EXAMPLE: On the Men in Black commentary, they make mention of a completely alternate ending with a talking Edgar bug but don’t go into detail. Come on, guys!
DON’T be afraid to admit where you were wrong. Look, if your movie was bad, own up to it! Go ahead and say where it could have been better, but don’t pretend like the movie was Gone With the Wind if it was Freddy Got Fingered
DO record commentaries for every episode. Yeah, guys. Fans of tv shows feel pretty damn ripped off spending upwards of 50 bucks for a season box set, only to get a few commentaries here and there. We like your show. We want to hear you talk about it. EXAMPLE: For the 24 DVD sets, there is an average of one commentary per disc. Yeah....there’s FOUR episodes on a disc. That ratio sucks.
DON’T vanish. If a commentator leaves during the commentary, at least admit it; say where they’re going. EXAMPLE: Halfway through the Goonies commentary track (which serves as a wonderful cast reunion), star Sean Astin vanishes into thin air. Actually, chubby air, given his size at the time....
DO prove you’re still there. Sometimes, certain commentators have more to say than others. Doesn’t mean that we don’t want to hear from everybody. EXAMPLE: On the Mallrats commentary, Jason Lee spend most of the track as a mute. For the guy with the second biggest mouth in the movie, that’s a mean feat!
DON’T forget the drama. On a movie set, **** happens. But when it does, you get some really interesting stories out of it. Tell us about it!
DO feel free to add strange people to the commentary tracks....if they’re interesting. Sometimes it is interesting to hear commentary tracks by people that had nothing to do with the movie/tv show and are just fans. But if they’re not interesting, that nagging "Why should we care?" question comes right back out to us. EXAMPLE: For the new Roadhouse DVD, two famous (okay, semi-famous) fans, director Kevin Smith and producer Scott Mosier recorded a fan commentary. And I, for one, would kill to get a commentary track with them on a Star Wars DVD.
DON’T feel like a commentary is required. Guess what? Some movies don’t need a commentary track. I mean, does anyone really care what the director of Tommy Boy has to say? Really?
DO keep it moving. Slow talkers are the bane of audio commentaries and sometimes require a push from their fellow talkers to get what they need to say out.
DON’T record separately. Nothing bogs a commentary down more than by having the commentators NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER. Editing their comments together does not sound like a discussion; it sounds like the commentators are stuck up jackasses who refuse to respond to one another.
DO be funny. If you made a comedy, feel free to continue being funny on the commentary. PLEASE! EXAMPLE: the Austin Powers movies are pretty funny, but the Jay Roach/Mike Myers commentaries are some of the most boring commentaries I’ve ever listened to. Hey, Mike, you’re a comedian! Take one guess what you’re supposed to be doing. I mean, if we wanted to hear someone drone on about nothing, we’d go back to the Morgan Freeman Se7en commentary.
DO prepare. Nothing makes a commentator sound more retarded than having zero knowledge about the movie/show he/she’s talking about. You were there. Hey, if the bong resin and blow have destroyed your memory, do a little research before you sit down and talk about a movie you weren’t even aware you made. On that vein, DO feel free to listen to radio talk shows for examples. Because that’s basically what you’re about to do. Your very own two hour radio show.
DO get drunk. Hell, it can’t hurt, right?
My personal examples of good commentaries:
-Any Kevin Smith commentary (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, etc...). The man knows how to make a commentary interesting. Add to that the fact that all of his fellow commentators are usually interesting and have something else to add and you’ve got some of the best commentaries out there.
-The Futurama commentaries. Now this is televison commentary at its best. Every episode of the four volume set has a full-length commentary, and every commentary has close to (if not more than) a half-dozen members of the cast and crew on it. And these are some of the funniest and most enjoyable commentaries recorded.
-Ghostbusters. You wouldn’t think that this commentary would be terribly interesting, but Harold Ramis, Ivan Reitman, and Joe Medjuck manage to fill the track with fun stories and memories from the making of the film. The only thing that would make this better would be the addition of Dan Aykroyd to the team, but as it stands, it doesn’t really need him. Just a fun and interesting commentary.
-The Lord of the Rings. By having multiple groups record commentaries for the films, then splicing the commentaries together, you have a rare example of a well edited commentary track. With more than a dozen people on some tracks, it never gets dull. And these are three and a half hour movies we’re talking about.
-The Goonies. It’s like a reunion show, and it’s fun to hear. And watch, as it were.
My personal examples of so-so commentaries:
-The Star Wars films. As big a Star Wars fan as I am, I had a degree of trouble listening to these commentaries. They’re boring! Lucas spends most of the commentaries sounding like he’s sleeping through them, which only lends more credence to my theory that he’s really frozen cryogenically next to Walt Disney’s head.
-Men in Black. This is just an example of bad choice in commentators. Tommy Lee Jones and Barry Sonnenfeld may be interesting, but they’re low-energy. Give us something to keep us awake and from noticing Sonnenfeld’s constant explanations of how special effects were done. Don’t really care which shots of the little dude in the big dude’s head were actually 11 feet tall, man.
-Evolution. Okay, there’s nothing overly wrong about this commentary. Except for the fact that it’s more entertaining than the movie itself. A decidedly bad thing.
My personal examples of BAD commentaries.
-The Austin Powers movies. See rant above.
-Se7en. See rant above.
So, guys- thoughts? Any DOs/DON’Ts to add? What about your own best/so-so/worst commentaries?
DON’T give away all of your secrets. Sometimes, the best part of movies is not knowing how things are done. We don’t need to know every little detail of the making of the movie, especially when it comes to the special and/or practical effects. EXAMPLE: In his commentary of Men in Black, director Barry Sonnenfeld spends half the movie citing the shots that were real and which were CGI. WE DON’T WANT TO KNOW!
DON’T play location spotter. We really don’t care if this shot was filmed in California or that shot was filmed in Bum****, Maryland and we don’t need to hear about it.
DO feel free to digress, to a certain point. Some of the best moments of audio commentaries have come from discussions that have gone beyond the scope of the movie itself. As long as the digression is interesting, of course.
DON’T feel forced to have the entire cast on the commentary; sometimes, actors aren’t interesting in real life. It’s best that we don’t have to listen to them sometimes. This goes especially for those commentaries without strong lead commentators that can help get responses from the actors. Nothing worse for the commentary than to have long silent stretches. EXAMPLE: In the Se7en commentary, the usually wonderful Morgan Freeman has very little in the way of interesting comments and just drags the whole commentary down.
DO have more than one person in the commentary. Talking to oneself is generally considered a sign of insanity.
DON’T point out the obvious. We’re watching the movie. We can SEE that event X is happening on screen.
DO give credit where credit’s due. There is nothing wrong with thanking the various people for their contributions to the film.
DON’T play the date game. Nobody cares what scene was filmed when. If you HAVE to, mention the start of filming and/or the end of filming. THAT’s IT.
DO have fun. You’re in the coolest ****ing profession in the world, and now you get to talk about it! Don’t act like you’re being tortured as you do this.
DON’T be afraid to tell the truth. If you had problems with someone on set, talk! We want to hear it. Now, don’t burn your bridges or anything, but don’t pretend like everything was completely perfect on set, either. EXAMPLE: In the Dogma commentary tracks, Kevin Smith fully admits that there were problems on set with Linda Fiorentino. But he does it in a rather diplomatic way.
DO reminisce. This rule applies more to older films. Sometimes the best stories to talk about come from the set of the film. Talk about it!
DON’T stop when you’re on a roll. Too many times, commentaries get into the most interesting discussions at the very end of the movie/tv episode and are forced to cut short with the end of the credits. If the discussion is interesting, keep it going! Even if the DVD producers have to throw up some film stills or something, we may want to hear what you’ve got to say.
DO discuss cut scenes/footage. Okay, as fans of the material, we are interested in hearing what didn’t make it in. Talk about it! EXAMPLE: On the Men in Black commentary, they make mention of a completely alternate ending with a talking Edgar bug but don’t go into detail. Come on, guys!
DON’T be afraid to admit where you were wrong. Look, if your movie was bad, own up to it! Go ahead and say where it could have been better, but don’t pretend like the movie was Gone With the Wind if it was Freddy Got Fingered
DO record commentaries for every episode. Yeah, guys. Fans of tv shows feel pretty damn ripped off spending upwards of 50 bucks for a season box set, only to get a few commentaries here and there. We like your show. We want to hear you talk about it. EXAMPLE: For the 24 DVD sets, there is an average of one commentary per disc. Yeah....there’s FOUR episodes on a disc. That ratio sucks.
DON’T vanish. If a commentator leaves during the commentary, at least admit it; say where they’re going. EXAMPLE: Halfway through the Goonies commentary track (which serves as a wonderful cast reunion), star Sean Astin vanishes into thin air. Actually, chubby air, given his size at the time....
DO prove you’re still there. Sometimes, certain commentators have more to say than others. Doesn’t mean that we don’t want to hear from everybody. EXAMPLE: On the Mallrats commentary, Jason Lee spend most of the track as a mute. For the guy with the second biggest mouth in the movie, that’s a mean feat!
DON’T forget the drama. On a movie set, **** happens. But when it does, you get some really interesting stories out of it. Tell us about it!
DO feel free to add strange people to the commentary tracks....if they’re interesting. Sometimes it is interesting to hear commentary tracks by people that had nothing to do with the movie/tv show and are just fans. But if they’re not interesting, that nagging "Why should we care?" question comes right back out to us. EXAMPLE: For the new Roadhouse DVD, two famous (okay, semi-famous) fans, director Kevin Smith and producer Scott Mosier recorded a fan commentary. And I, for one, would kill to get a commentary track with them on a Star Wars DVD.
DON’T feel like a commentary is required. Guess what? Some movies don’t need a commentary track. I mean, does anyone really care what the director of Tommy Boy has to say? Really?
DO keep it moving. Slow talkers are the bane of audio commentaries and sometimes require a push from their fellow talkers to get what they need to say out.
DON’T record separately. Nothing bogs a commentary down more than by having the commentators NOT TALK TO EACH OTHER. Editing their comments together does not sound like a discussion; it sounds like the commentators are stuck up jackasses who refuse to respond to one another.
DO be funny. If you made a comedy, feel free to continue being funny on the commentary. PLEASE! EXAMPLE: the Austin Powers movies are pretty funny, but the Jay Roach/Mike Myers commentaries are some of the most boring commentaries I’ve ever listened to. Hey, Mike, you’re a comedian! Take one guess what you’re supposed to be doing. I mean, if we wanted to hear someone drone on about nothing, we’d go back to the Morgan Freeman Se7en commentary.
DO prepare. Nothing makes a commentator sound more retarded than having zero knowledge about the movie/show he/she’s talking about. You were there. Hey, if the bong resin and blow have destroyed your memory, do a little research before you sit down and talk about a movie you weren’t even aware you made. On that vein, DO feel free to listen to radio talk shows for examples. Because that’s basically what you’re about to do. Your very own two hour radio show.
DO get drunk. Hell, it can’t hurt, right?
My personal examples of good commentaries:
-Any Kevin Smith commentary (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, etc...). The man knows how to make a commentary interesting. Add to that the fact that all of his fellow commentators are usually interesting and have something else to add and you’ve got some of the best commentaries out there.
-The Futurama commentaries. Now this is televison commentary at its best. Every episode of the four volume set has a full-length commentary, and every commentary has close to (if not more than) a half-dozen members of the cast and crew on it. And these are some of the funniest and most enjoyable commentaries recorded.
-Ghostbusters. You wouldn’t think that this commentary would be terribly interesting, but Harold Ramis, Ivan Reitman, and Joe Medjuck manage to fill the track with fun stories and memories from the making of the film. The only thing that would make this better would be the addition of Dan Aykroyd to the team, but as it stands, it doesn’t really need him. Just a fun and interesting commentary.
-The Lord of the Rings. By having multiple groups record commentaries for the films, then splicing the commentaries together, you have a rare example of a well edited commentary track. With more than a dozen people on some tracks, it never gets dull. And these are three and a half hour movies we’re talking about.
-The Goonies. It’s like a reunion show, and it’s fun to hear. And watch, as it were.
My personal examples of so-so commentaries:
-The Star Wars films. As big a Star Wars fan as I am, I had a degree of trouble listening to these commentaries. They’re boring! Lucas spends most of the commentaries sounding like he’s sleeping through them, which only lends more credence to my theory that he’s really frozen cryogenically next to Walt Disney’s head.
-Men in Black. This is just an example of bad choice in commentators. Tommy Lee Jones and Barry Sonnenfeld may be interesting, but they’re low-energy. Give us something to keep us awake and from noticing Sonnenfeld’s constant explanations of how special effects were done. Don’t really care which shots of the little dude in the big dude’s head were actually 11 feet tall, man.
-Evolution. Okay, there’s nothing overly wrong about this commentary. Except for the fact that it’s more entertaining than the movie itself. A decidedly bad thing.
My personal examples of BAD commentaries.
-The Austin Powers movies. See rant above.
-Se7en. See rant above.
So, guys- thoughts? Any DOs/DON’Ts to add? What about your own best/so-so/worst commentaries?