Fabulous and Insightful Advice [Archive]

Darth Insightful

01-30-2003, 01:48 AM

A real man's advice thread? I sat on my nut a short while ago and it cracked like a walnut shell. How should I handle it?

You're probably in quite a lot of pain. First thing you need to do is calm yourself down. I suggest an adult beverage. What you've got there is a very serious condition that we in the medical community refer to as brittilus ballsinus . I think you need to get yourself to a doctor ASAP. Until then, keep your feet elevated and wear as little clothing as possible down there, making sure not to violate any public decency laws.

MegoHulk

01-30-2003, 02:28 AM

I need some advice, I just killed a family of 5, how do I dispose of the bodies? Or should I put this question in Padmes thread?

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 02:32 AM

We can handle it. Mass murder is a manly thing. Go rent Very Bad Things, or wait for it to come on Comedy Central for the third time this week. It should give you some pretty good ideas. You could always call the police and turn yourself in, the coroner would take care of the bodies for you.

Rojo

01-30-2003, 04:59 AM

I always found burial to be a good plan, except now my garden is full...

Krogenar

01-30-2003, 09:49 AM

Originally posted by MegoHulk@Jan 30 2003, 02:28 AM
I need some advice, I just killed a family of 5, how do I dispose of the bodies? Or should I put this question in Padmes thread?
You must remove the hands and the head.
Also, consider spreading the evidence over several states. Time for a road trip! When you're done, start a new life someplace else.

Hey, it worked for me.

Darth Insightful

01-30-2003, 12:20 PM

I need some advice, I just killed a family of 5, how do I dispose of the bodies? Or should I put this question in Padmes thread?

First thing you're going to want to do is get rid of the bodies. But that can oftentimes be messy, so my suggestion would be to make it look like a murder-suicide deal. Find some bills and spread them around the scene of the crime. That'll make it look like there was an argument over finances that got out of hand. Secondly, leave the country, just in case the authorities manage to trace the crime back to you. Look at it as an excuse to travel the world. Doesn't really matter where you go, but my suggestion would be to end up in Switzerland. Seems like a pretty low-profile place to me, you never hear about them in the news, other than the fact that they're always neutral. Find yourself a nice Swiss girl, settle down, start a family and become a concert yodeler.

Rogue_0009

01-30-2003, 01:19 PM

I need some advice, I just killed a family of 5, how do I dispose of the bodies? Or should I put this question in Padmes thread?

OK, here's the plan, I smuggle you into Quebec, get you a job as a lumberjack and you hang out there until this blows over. From now on if anyone asks your name is Frère Jacque.

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 05:15 PM

Is anyone in need of free and impartial advice?

Padme

01-30-2003, 05:15 PM

Here is a question. What is a good way to get rid of my brother?? He is so annoying!

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 05:20 PM

Smother him with a pillow in his sleep, that worked for me. If you need him alive for some reason, I would try to get him a life. Get him out of the house, hook him up with one of your friend's younger sisters or something. You can try bribing him, that usually works. Are you graduating soon? If so just move out of the house as soon as possible. I have learned the hard way that home is a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

Padme

01-30-2003, 05:26 PM

Thanks for your advice!

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 05:27 PM

Anytime. Thank you for keeping my advice thread alive.

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 05:35 PM

I had another thought. You might try being extremely nice to him. After a while he may start to feel guilty for giving you such a hard time and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Now this solution requires that your brother have a shread of human decency in him, which I suspect is not the case.

Darth Insightful

01-30-2003, 06:36 PM

Here is a question. What is a good way to get rid of my brother?? He is so annoying!

Yet again I have to step in and make up for Fabulous' lack of intelligent advice. Smother him with a pillow? Please. That's rookie advice.

Here's what you want to do Padme: see if someone you know is looking for a helper around the house. Try to set up an indentured servant type of deal. Preferably you'll want to find a rather well-to-do family, that way your brother can live there and he'd be out of your hair. The key here is to get some monetary compensation for him. That way, everybody wins. Your brother won't bother you anymore, you get a little spending cash and he gets instilled with a good work ethic. If your parents ask where he is, just tell them that you're pretty sure he ran off to join the circus.

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 06:38 PM

Yet again I have to step in and make up for Fabulous' lack of intelligent advice. Smother him with a pillow? Please. That's rookie advice.

Padme, whose advice did you find more useful, mine or the other guy's?

Darth Insightful

01-30-2003, 06:54 PM

How juvenile. It's so sad to watch you beg for praise Darth Fabulous. I thought you were better than that. As you are so fond of saying, "I'm embarassed for the both of us."

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 06:56 PM

I am doing nothing of the kind. You claimed my advice was inferior, I want to find out who the person we advised thinks gave the superior advice.

Krogenar

01-30-2003, 08:45 PM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Jan 30 2003, 05:35 PM
I had another thought. You might try being extremely nice to him. After a while he may start to feel guilty for giving you such a hard time and treat you like you deserve to be treated. Now this solution requires that your brother have a shread of human decency in him, which I suspect is not the case.
What kind of crappy advice is that!

Beat him senseless. That's what my sisters did to me, and I left the scene quite quickly. Give it a try.

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 08:48 PM

I already advised smothering him to death. I was trying to present alternative options.

Padme

01-30-2003, 09:31 PM

I found all of your advice helpful!

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 09:33 PM

So do we need to have a small memorial service for little Obi-Wan?

Padme

01-30-2003, 10:19 PM

No!! I am not that mean! I was thinking about dropping him off somewhere, I doubt he can find his way home!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 10:22 PM

That's a good plan.

Padme

01-30-2003, 10:25 PM

Hey, I can drop him off at your place!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 10:34 PM

As long as you drop him off.

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 10:41 PM

He can live in my closet, or in one of the shower stalls.

Padme

01-30-2003, 10:48 PM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif That would be a good place to keep him!

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 10:52 PM

I figure he can be the hall servant. He can go to the market and bring us back food. He can clean my room. We can let him out to play in the snow. He can write my papers, this is win win!

Padme

01-30-2003, 10:56 PM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Mann

01-30-2003, 10:58 PM

wait, a girl on the man's thread?

Darth Insightful

01-30-2003, 10:59 PM

Somebody needs to turn the hose on you two.

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 11:00 PM

We give advice to both sexes, from a male perspective.

Padme

01-30-2003, 11:01 PM

Thats true!! It didn't state that it was just for guys!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Mann

01-30-2003, 11:07 PM

what is this, the other Half online?

Padme

01-30-2003, 11:11 PM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Mann

01-30-2003, 11:24 PM

knew you'd laugh at that one.

But I have advice about Obi-Wan. Just beat him with an ugly stick.

Padme

01-30-2003, 11:28 PM

I don't want to harm him!! I just want to get away from him!! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 11:32 PM

It's warm in Texas, take a long walk, or take a ride to the mall, or stay at a friend's house every once in a while.

Padme

01-30-2003, 11:43 PM

Thats true! I love going to the mall!!!

Darth Fabulous

01-30-2003, 11:47 PM

Good. There's your escape from your brother. Go to the mall, buy yourself a new outfit. Spoil yourself, and remember, you're good enough, you're smart enough, and dog gone it people like you.

Padme

01-30-2003, 11:58 PM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Krogenar

01-31-2003, 08:54 AM

Seems to me that dropping your brother off someplace would require taking him someplace new. Sounds like work. Just tie him up to a chair, and then go out.

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 02:00 PM

You could always FedEx him, or call Brown.

Rogue_0009

01-31-2003, 03:37 PM

Padme; Febreeze, Frebreeze solves everything.

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 04:55 PM

For one thing it's Fabreeze, not Febreeze or Frebreeze, and it doesn't fix everything. In fact it ruined one of my sweaters just the other day.

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 09:40 PM

Does anyone need advice? I am only asking because I had 666 posts and felt as though I should make another as quickly as possible.

Padme

01-31-2003, 09:45 PM

Here is another problem. I have an older sister who is married and has a stupid husband. She calls me everyday asking me for advice and she keeps me on the phone until like 3:00 am, because he is out somewhere. She won't get a job and she doesn't even go out. What sould I do?? She is driving ne crazy!! Plus, being guys what do you think her husband is doing out that late?? I have a feeling about what he is doing! But she won't listen to me.

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 09:53 PM

Well first I think you need to try to convince her to go out and have a little fun, if for no other reason than to get her mind off her problems for a little while. Try offering to go out with her. Second, you should try to talk her into just asking her husband what is going on. If he avoids answering or acts like he has something to hide, I think she will get a good idea about what's going on. If she won't try to help herself there is not much else you can do besides being supportive and listening to her problems.

Padme

01-31-2003, 10:01 PM

She has asked him what he was doing and he says that he is just hanging out with his friends. To me thats just a little stupid to hang out with his friends until 3:00 in the morning and then get up at 7:00 and go to work!!

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 10:02 PM

I agree, it sounds to me like something is going on. Has she told him that it bothers her when he stays out so late?

Padme

01-31-2003, 10:04 PM

Yes. He doesn't even care!

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 10:08 PM

This guy sounds like a jerk. Then I would say it's time for her to give him an ultimatum. She needs to tell him she's leaving until he straightens up. You said she doesn't have a job, now is the time to start looking for a way to support herself. Is coming back home to live for a while an option for her?

Padme

01-31-2003, 10:15 PM

Yes, if she wants to. The stupid thing is she says she loves him and she wants to see if he will change! Isn't that stupid??

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 10:22 PM

I wouldn't call it stupid. We can't help the people we love, and letting go of them, no matter how aweful they have been, is very difficult. You should never expect people to change, especially for the better, but hoping they will is natural when you love them. Eventually, she will figure out for herself that she deserves someone better and until she does it on her own, no one can convince her that that is true. Just be as supportive as you can be, but don't be afraid to tell her that you can't talk all night, every night.

Padme

01-31-2003, 10:26 PM

Thanks for your advice!!

Darth Fabulous

01-31-2003, 10:27 PM

Anytime.

Rojo

02-01-2003, 06:54 AM

Dear Darth's, I'm semi illiterate but somehow I have become President of the Uniatable states of Americana (or something). I didn't really win the election but my Dad says I have friends in high places.

Now he wants me to send my army into a place called Irak or something to finish what he started a long time ago.

Please help me, I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING HERE.

Darth Insightful

02-01-2003, 03:59 PM

This question doesn't deserve an answer.

Blizzard

02-01-2003, 05:06 PM

Dear Guys,

I have a problem... Every time I message someone on AIM they freak out, because I am an admin here. I don't know if they think I am going to yell at them, or scare the piss out of them, or make them kiss my ass, or if they have heard the hearsay that I am a *****. But as a result I don't have any friends and can't make any new ones.

What can I do? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/huh.gif

Javen

02-01-2003, 05:11 PM

Dear Blizz

You haven't IMed me in forever, and 99% of the time you have your away message on.Its not quite fair to say you have no friends, when I am a friend at least I believe we still are.

Blizzard

02-01-2003, 05:22 PM

Fair enough, Javen. Either I have everyone blocked or I keep the away message on. That's just my protective shell. I don't have the option of turning off my AIM, because I have AOL.

Darth Fabulous

02-01-2003, 06:34 PM

Dear Blizz, you can IM me! I'm friendly and I don't bite, or freak out because you are an administrator.

Darth Fabulous

02-01-2003, 06:49 PM

Anyone need advice? No? Then may I offer you something in the way of a sarcastic comment?

The Irish Jedi

02-01-2003, 08:21 PM

OK, I have something to ask you guys, i'm looking for a boyfriend, so what type of things do men like in a girl. and if I spot a guy I like how can I approch him without sounding desperate!

Darth Insightful

02-01-2003, 11:08 PM

First off, don't go out with the first guy who shows an interest. I know several girls who just want a boyfriend for the sake of having one and usually those guys aren't the type you'd want to be in a relationship with. Make sure you have at least a couple things in common. For example, similar musical tastes, if you're in to politics see if he is too. Same with sports. Make sure he shares some of your morals and values, that may be the most important thing. Don't misunderstand me, you don't have to have everything in common, but it would help if there were a few things.

Guys like a girl who's not controlling and overbearing. Don't be one of those girlfriends who has to be around her guy every waking moment. It's good to spend some time apart and with your friends. If he plays sports and you don't, try to show an interest. If he knows your making an effort, it'll go along way. This is a two-way street. He should show an interest in the things you like as well.

The Irish Jedi

02-02-2003, 06:00 PM

Thanks for your advice style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif

Das_Funked

02-02-2003, 06:07 PM

Krogenar

02-02-2003, 06:11 PM

Originally posted by The Irish Jedi@Feb 1 2003, 08:21 PM
OK, I have something to ask you guys, i'm looking for a boyfriend, so what type of things do men like in a girl. and if I spot a guy I like how can I approch him without sounding desperate!
I suggest a running tackle.

As a man, I like it when a woman shows initiative.

Run up at him from behind, silently, and then let out a Valkyrie scream seconds before you knock him down. After you've floored him, grab his shirt and demand a date. Repeat the process until you find the right guy.

Das_Funked

02-02-2003, 06:18 PM

Originally posted by The Irish Jedi@Feb 2 2003, 11:21 AM
OK, I have something to ask you guys, i'm looking for a boyfriend, so what type of things do men like in a girl. and if I spot a guy I like how can I approch him without sounding desperate!
Challenge him to a Guiness drinking contest. But don't win, because losing to a girl would embarass him in front of his mates and he wouldn't like that.

Darth Fabulous

02-02-2003, 08:01 PM

The advice man is in. Who wants some?

Das_Funked

02-02-2003, 08:12 PM

Let's say, for example, a girl kicked you in the shin for blowing smoke in her face. Is this a sign that she has the hots for you?

Das_Funked

02-02-2003, 08:13 PM

Let's say, for example, a girl kicked you in the shin for blowing smoke in her face. Is this a sign that she has the hots for you?

Darth Fabulous

02-02-2003, 08:19 PM

I doubt it, although you Australians seem to do everything backwards so she just might want to jump your bones.

Das_Funked

02-02-2003, 08:21 PM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 3 2003, 11:19 AM
I doubt it, although you Australians seem to do everything backwards so she just might want to jump your bones.
That was the impression I was getting. Thanks Fab.

Mann

02-02-2003, 08:31 PM

alright, I asked Padme now I'm gonna ask you:

Do you guys think that a guy should try and date one of his best friends he has known for a while, or do you think it would ruin the friendship?

Darth Fabulous

02-02-2003, 08:41 PM

If the friendship is strong enough it won't ruin anything. Tell her how you feel, and if she shares your feelings then great. If she doesn't then if she is a good friend there shouldn't be a problem. My cousin just got married to a guy she was friends with for several years before they got together. Friends make good couples, you already have lots in common and know each other well, the only thing new is the romance and intimacy. I wouldn't force the issue though. If she doesn't feel the same way you should drop it and move on. Being persistent will only make things wierd.

Darth Fabulous

02-03-2003, 12:56 AM

Does anyone need advice? Even if you don't it would be nice to indulge me just so I have an excuse to stop writing my paper for a while. Just make something up. Come on! It'll be fun!

Darth Insightful

02-03-2003, 11:09 PM

DF has brought this back to the top a few times, so I guess it's my turn now. Who needs some words of wisdom?

Darth Fabulous

02-04-2003, 06:06 PM

Anyone want to help keep us in business?

Justin

02-04-2003, 11:52 PM

No.

Darth Fabulous

02-05-2003, 06:05 PM

No.

You're so kind.

Does anyone need advice today?

Justin

02-06-2003, 12:25 AM

No.

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 12:38 AM

Originally posted by Justin@Feb 5 2003, 11:25 PM
No.
Why do you feel the need to be a jerk? Come on now, you're a moderator, you are supposed to set an example, there's no need to act like a child.

Padme

02-06-2003, 05:08 PM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Justin

02-06-2003, 05:27 PM

Oh come on, it was a joke. As the co-owner of an advice thread, you think you'd know the importance of having a sense on humor.

And hold on a minute- you just called me a jerk! I should lock your thread for your insolence, boy! Don't make me call mommy Blizz and have her give you a spankin'.

FerrisWiel

02-06-2003, 05:30 PM

Dear Darths,

My "friend" wants to wear hot-pants in winter, is this advisable? Other friends of this "friend" say that it's a bad idea and that frostbite is inevitable.

Your help would be appreciated.

Barely Clothed in Brazil.

Padme

02-06-2003, 05:30 PM

Whatever Justin! You can't lock a thread because of getting called a jerk. You are acting like a baby. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Justin

02-06-2003, 05:35 PM

Oh come on, that was a joke too! Of course I'm not going to lock anyone's thread because they call me a jerk.

And Padme, you should be more grateful to me. I left open a thread you made that I would have locked. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wink.gif

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 05:36 PM

Barely Clothed in Brazil,

It really depends on the wearer. Does she, I am assuming it is a female, look good in them? If so she should wear them for the benefit of society. If not she really shouldn't wear them regardless of the season.

Padme

02-06-2003, 05:36 PM

Well aren't you so sweet Justin!

FerrisWiel

02-06-2003, 05:37 PM

Well, my "friend" looks... okay, it's all a facade, it's really me. I want to wear hot pants in winter, is there something so wrong with that? Tell me, is there?!?

--Ferris Wiel

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 05:41 PM

Absolutely not, as long as you have a nice butt. If you get frostbite take it as a sign you should wait for summer.

FerrisWiel

02-06-2003, 05:48 PM

Fab, you know I'm a dude, right?

--Ferris Wiel

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 05:48 PM

Uh, yeah.

Darth Insightful

02-06-2003, 05:54 PM

Originally posted by FerrisWiel@Feb 6 2003, 04:37 PM
Well, my "friend" looks... okay, it's all a facade, it's really me. I want to wear hot pants in winter, is there something so wrong with that? Tell me, is there?!?

--Ferris Wiel
Yet again I see that my counterpart here is giving out bad adivice. Ferris, despite what other people may tell you, under no circumstances should guys ever be allowed to wear hot pants. In fact, I would stay away from any article of clothing that has the word "hot" in its name. Chances are that it's not meant for guys. I mean, the only thing I can think of that would be as bad as guys wearing hot pants is if they wore low-rider jeans and/or leather pants. It's just not right. Hope this helps you out.

FerrisWiel

02-06-2003, 05:56 PM

Darth,

You live up to your name. You're very insightful. And Darth Fabulous, you live up to your name, too!

Thanks and love!

--Ferris Wiel

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 05:57 PM

I mean, the only thing I can think of that would be as bad as guys wearing hot pantsis if they wore low-rider jeans and/or leather pants.

That's hitting a bit below the belt.

Darth Insightful

02-06-2003, 06:04 PM

Speaking of belts, if you do decide to wear those low-rider pants, make sure you wear one. I doubt the ladies will be very impressed by your pants when they're around your ankles and all that separates you from the rest of the world is a layer of cotton.

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 06:06 PM

First off, what is this layer of cotton you refer to? Second, I always wear a belt. Third, the ladies are always trying to get my jeans around my ankles and are always impressed by what they see.

FerrisWiel

02-06-2003, 06:07 PM

And in addition to a belt, perhaps some sealant to fill in the crack.

--Ferris Wiel

Darth Fabulous

02-06-2003, 06:08 PM

And in addition to a belt, perhaps some sealant to fill in the crack.

My crack never shows when I wear them, I have said this several times.

Justin

02-06-2003, 11:42 PM

No.

Darth Insightful

02-06-2003, 11:47 PM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 6 2003, 05:06 PM
First off, what is this layer of cotton you refer to? Second, I always wear a belt. Third, the ladies are always trying to get my jeans around my ankles and are always impressed by what they see.
That's just not right. Nobody needs to know any of that.

No.

Yes.

Justin

02-06-2003, 11:57 PM

You know, people who brag about the size of their egos are self-concious and insecure about it.

FerrisWiel

02-07-2003, 11:23 AM

The venom in this advice column is second only that in Savage Love.

--Ferris Wiel

Darth Insightful

02-07-2003, 01:36 PM

You're right Ferris, this thread has sort of taken an ugly turn, hasn't it? We started out so well too, what with DF and Padme having their little lovefest. Then in the middle somewhere we gave out what I thought was some good advice. Granted, it was mostly my advice that was good, but who's keeping track? We also dealt with some tough, real-life issues, which I thought was good. Now we seem to have deteriorated into yet another thread driven by DF's ego. Wait, the first part of the thread was driven by DF's ego too. Come to think of it, pretty much the whole thread is driven by DF's ego! I think I may have just uncovered some sinister plot in which DF's ego takes over the world! If that thing could physically manifest itself we'd all . . . well, I don't even want to think about it. It's just too gruesome.

Anyway, I'm going to make an effort to turn this back into an advice thread and away from the seemingly unstoppable behemoth that is Darth Fabulous' ego. Somebody out there has to have a question or a problem that we can fix or answer.

The Irish Jedi

02-07-2003, 02:51 PM

Well i'm back again for some wonderful advice. Theres a guy i've had my eye on for quite a while, but i've just found out he has a girl whom he frequently cheats on. She knows this and oddly doesn't seem to mind. Do you think there would be any way I can get this man for myself and change his nasty ways? I really like him.
Thanks

Darth Fabulous

02-07-2003, 02:58 PM

I really don't think you can change him. Once a cheat, always a cheat in my opinion.

Justin

02-08-2003, 12:40 AM

Irish, are you a chick or a dude?

Padme

02-08-2003, 03:20 AM

Here is a question. The other day I was watching N Sync and my brother-in-law came over and looked at the guy Chris and said "He looks delicious, mmmm." What should I do? Do you think he has secrets?

Das_Funked

02-08-2003, 03:23 AM

W...T...F...style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/eh.gif

Darth Fabulous

02-08-2003, 03:26 AM

Here is a question. The other day I was watching N Sync and my brother-in-law came over and looked at the guy Chris and said "He looks delicious, mmmm." What should I do? Do you think he has secrets?

He has problems, not secrets. Justin Timberlake is by far the hottest member of NSync. Chris is ugly, what has your brother-in-law been smoking?

Padme

02-08-2003, 03:28 AM

I think he is on something! Really why wouldn't he pick Justin Timberlake. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Das_Funked

02-08-2003, 03:30 AM

Justin Timberlake is by far the hottest member of NSync.

I think I found my quote of the week.

Darth Fabulous

02-08-2003, 03:41 AM

I think he is on something! Really why wouldn't he pick Justin Timberlake.

I know! He looks yummy! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/inlove.gif

Das_Funked

02-08-2003, 03:42 AM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

I'll take your word for it.

Padme

02-08-2003, 03:43 AM

Now you are freaking me out. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Darth Insightful

02-08-2003, 03:59 AM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 8 2003, 02:26 AM
Here is a question. The other day I was watching N Sync and my brother-in-law came over and looked at the guy Chris and said "He looks delicious, mmmm." What should I do? Do you think he has secrets?

He has problems, not secrets. Justin Timberlake is by far the hottest member of NSync. Chris is ugly, what has your brother-in-law been smoking?
Saying Justin Timberlake is the hottest member of N'Sync is like saying gonorrhea is the best of all the STD's.

The Irish Jedi

02-08-2003, 11:23 AM

I'm a female BTW

nerfer

02-08-2003, 08:21 PM

Justin Timberlake is a definete hottie.

Krogenar

02-08-2003, 11:23 PM

(Krog listens to the debate raging about NSYNC...)
(a concavity forms on his forehead, as a vacuum is formed within the confines of his skull...)
(Krogenar drools as his brain slowly bastes in it's own juices.)

:doze:

Krogenar

02-08-2003, 11:27 PM

Originally posted by The Irish Jedi@Feb 7 2003, 02:51 PM
Well i'm back again for some wonderful advice. Theres a guy i've had my eye on for quite a while, but i've just found out he has a girl whom he frequently cheats on. She knows this and oddly doesn't seem to mind. Do you think there would be any way I can get this man for myself and change his nasty ways? I really like him.
Thanks
This guy you have a crush on is a lecherous cheat. Find someone with greater moral fiber. If he can cheat on her, he could cheat on you... assuming he'd ever agree to be seen with you. My advice: find a boy dedicated enough to you, that you could cheat on him comfortably.

What is about women that makes them lust after men who are clearly unsuitable for them? They always want the 'bad boys'... ah well, what can be done?

(puts on his leather jacket and jumps on his motorcycle.)

Thank you, please drive through.

Whisper

02-10-2003, 04:43 AM

This is by far one of the funniest threads ever...I'm in tears here (not just cuz of the insomnia....)

Krogenar

02-10-2003, 11:09 AM

I think someone who's not me should develop a 'relationship' advice thread. Just for people's 'romantic queries'. I'm aware, however, that the number of advice columns is increasing at a geometric rate - and at the current rate everyone will have their own advice columns, and no one to actually read them. I suggest the following: Let's form up into several advice 'teams' - so instead of 500 advice threads, we have 5 threads. And maybe break them up by topic. Politics

Relationships

Star Wars Festoonery

Problems with my Zipper

Body Issues

Religion
If we team up, sort of like Voltron (anyone remember that show? a bunch of robotic tigers jumped together and became an uber-robot? No...? Didn't think so.) we could help more people, and combat the problem of having too many advice threads. Who's with me? Is there any advice column out there that's willing to adopt me?

Whisper

02-10-2003, 11:19 AM

I remember Lion Voltron. There was also another Voltron that had whole bunches of cars and planes coming together to form the big robot.

And I heard in Japan that therewas one Voltron that didn't have smaller components...

Darth Fabulous

02-10-2003, 12:56 PM

You can join us Krogenar. You give about as much advice as we do here anyway.

Krogenar

02-10-2003, 01:54 PM

Great! I'll start dispensing whole grain, down-to-Earth, MidWestern values-laden advice immediately.

Don't do drugs.

Thank you, please drive through.

Darth Fabulous

02-10-2003, 08:55 PM

Okay. Topic title changed to Fabulous and Insightful Advice feat. Krogenar, Now more than before.

FerrisWiel

02-11-2003, 11:18 AM

Hi, Fab, Insight, Krog,

Love the show! Long time listener, first time caller. I was just wondering, is Krog there to keep the two of you from killing each other? And did you know you come off sometimes like a bickering elderly couple?

Lotsa love!

--Ferris Wiel

Darth Insightful

02-11-2003, 11:52 AM

Good to hear from you Ferris, hope you continue to tune in.

Krogenar is here because we felt that he would be an asset to our advice thread. In our effort to appeal to an ever-widening demographic, we felt it was important to bring new talent aboard. I think Krogenar will fit right in here. It's good to have someone other than myself dispensing meaningful advice.

As for DF and mine's bickering, it's only because he's wrong and I'm right. If he was right more often then we wouldn't have these sort of problems. I just feel the need to correct him so he doesn't draw others into his delusions and lead them down the wrong path. You might say he's the snake to my mongoose. Or the mongoose to my snake, I don't really do animal analogies.

Whisper

02-11-2003, 12:07 PM

But..........you just....did an animal analogy...

sheesh...

Darth Fabulous

02-11-2003, 12:09 PM

You might say he's the snake to my mongoose. Or the mongoose to my snake, I don't really do animal analogies.

And you steal quotes from Austin Powers. Besides it doesn't matter if I am right or wrong...I'm hot and that's what people care about.

Whisper

02-11-2003, 12:16 PM

Right....wrong...I'm the guy with the gun....

Darth Insightful

02-11-2003, 12:22 PM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 11 2003, 11:09 AM
Besides it doesn't matter if I am right or wrong...I'm hot and that's what people care about.
I stand by my earlier statement:

I just feel the need to correct him so he doesn't draw others into his delusions and lead others down the wrong path.

Darth Insightful

02-11-2003, 12:41 PM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 11 2003, 11:09 AM
And you steal quotes from Austin Powers.
I did nothing of the sort. I merely borrowed the phrase. If you play the movie you'll notice that the quote has been returned in its entirety.

Whisper

02-11-2003, 12:43 PM

HA!

Darth Fabulous

02-11-2003, 12:49 PM

I did nothing of the sort. I merely borrowed the phrase. If you play the movie you'll notice that the quote has been returned in its entirety.

You didn't give the movie credit, that's all I'm saying. And I know you will probably point out that "Now More Than Before" is stolen from the Daily Show, but I am hot and can get away with such things.

Krogenar

02-11-2003, 12:54 PM

As I see it, I'm here to fulfill my talent for being a rotten curmudgeon, who hates teenagers: which is handy since a good number of advice seekers are teenagers. If DF and DI ever do decide to kill one another, I'll be here to break it up... and order each back into their respective corners, and then come out fighting.

And yes, DF and DI do resemble old ladies fighting with each other at times. I spend my time here complimenting both Insightful and Fabulous on their new church hats, and I go on "Sustical" runs from time to time. You know, it's for 'active seniors'? Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing from someone who needs advice. Because I've got a molten crockful of it, all ready to go.

New Thread Title Suggestion:

Fabulous & Insightful Advice
featuring "Krogenar w/Kung Fu Grip!"

FerrisWiel

02-11-2003, 01:21 PM

But, Krogenar, I assumed you were a teenager, much in the vein of Dick Clark, or Ernest Borgnine.

--Ferris Wiel

Krogenar

02-11-2003, 01:45 PM

Dick Clark is ... I'm not sure. He's mummified himself somehow, or through some arcane process managed to put himself outside the regular flow of time. But it reminds me of something that a famous Norwegian jet pilot once said.

Whisper

02-11-2003, 02:06 PM

What's that?

Darth Fabulous

02-11-2003, 02:29 PM

I like "Fabulous and Insightful Advice featuring Special K" better.

FerrisWiel

02-11-2003, 02:45 PM

"Vee dunnat make zee jumbo jets heeer."

--Ferris Wiel

Krogenar

02-12-2003, 10:13 AM

Originally posted by Whisper@Feb 11 2003, 02:06 PM
What's that?
What's what?

FerrisWiel

02-12-2003, 10:16 AM

My hands are dirty.

--Ferris WIel

Krogenar

02-12-2003, 02:12 PM

Originally posted by FerrisWiel@Feb 12 2003, 10:16 AM
My hands are dirty.

--Ferris WIel
My advice would be to ... uh... er... DI or DF, would you like to handle this one?

Whisper

02-12-2003, 02:12 PM

Originally posted by Krogenar+Feb 12 2003, 09:13 AM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Krogenar @ Feb 12 2003, 09:13 AM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-Whisper@Feb 11 2003, 02:06 PM
What's that?
What's what?[/b][/quote]
THAT...six posts up...

Whisper

02-12-2003, 02:12 PM

Ummm...okay...fifth post from the bottom on the previous page!

Darth Insightful

02-12-2003, 02:36 PM

Originally posted by Krogenar+Feb 12 2003, 01:12 PM--><div class='quotetop'>QUOTE(Krogenar @ Feb 12 2003, 01:12 PM)</div><div class='quotemain'><!--QuoteBegin-FerrisWiel@Feb 12 2003, 10:16 AM
My hands are dirty.

--Ferris WIel
My advice would be to ... uh... er... DI or DF, would you like to handle this one?[/b][/quote]
Gladly Krogenar. Ferris, the first thing you have to ask yourself is "Why are my hands dirty, and where have they been that they would have gotten dirty?" Let's say for example, you've been around some nuclear waste, and that's where your hands got dirty. If that's the case, then you'd need to take some more precautions than you would if you simply got a little mud on them. How can you tell? Well, if your hands have a strange, greenish glow to them, then you may have radioactive nuclear waste on your hands.

Now another possibility is that you only "think" your hands are dirty, but they really aren't. Have you performed some act of unspeakable evil lately? If the answer is yes, then your hands being dirty could be the product of your subconscience trying to get you to admit to your heinous crimes.

Krogenar

02-12-2003, 02:40 PM

Ummm...okay...fifth post from the bottom on the previous page!

No problem.

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 11 2003, 02:29 PM
I like "Fabulous and Insightful Advice featuring Special K" better.
This is an alternate thread title. While it lacks the overall panache of: 'Fabulous and Insightful Advice; featuring "Krogenar w/Kung Fu Grip" it is still clever and funny. Come to this thread, and help me celebrate my 'specialness'. Thrill as I learn to button my shirt all by myself. Next week I'll tackle numbers larger than 4 (holds up three fingers) but less than six. (holds up no fingers)

I hope that helped, Whisper.

FerrisWiel

02-12-2003, 04:34 PM

Krogenar (such a pretty name!),

I'm acting as a relationship counselor right now for you and Whisper:

Whisper wants to know what the Nodic airline pilot always told you.

Hope this has been of help! ^_0

--Ferris Wiel

Krogenar

02-12-2003, 09:16 PM

Originally posted by FerrisWiel@Feb 12 2003, 04:34 PM
Whisper wants to know what the Nodic airline pilot always told you.
... style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/eh.gif

How the hell would I know? I don't speak Nordic.
It sounded like gibberish to me, and I told him so, right after he bailed out.

Whisper

02-12-2003, 11:58 PM

My problem there was that I didn't know you and I had done a simul post...so well I...ah never mind.

Krogenar

02-13-2003, 03:09 PM

:roll: It was just a 'hanging' joke! For example: a Jew, a Palestinian, Justin Timberlake and Yahoo Serious walk into a bar.

Whisper

02-13-2003, 10:27 PM

A Rabbi a Priest and an Elephant walk into a bar.

Bartender turns around and asked "What's this? Some kinda joke?"

Krogenar

02-14-2003, 08:56 AM

So... who needs advice?

Brian

02-14-2003, 03:50 PM

Fabulous and Insightful,

What should I cook for dinner tonight for my wife on Valentine's Day?

~OBG

Darth Fabulous

02-14-2003, 03:53 PM

What kind of things does she like?

Brian

02-14-2003, 03:56 PM

She most things that I don't like. I'm a vegetarian and she eats meat. I like foriegn foods, she likes what's familiar. Come on...you supposed to be helping me. I gotta go to the grocery store before she gets home.

~OBG

Krogenar

02-14-2003, 04:13 PM

You're the man in this relationship, so go out, and buy her whatever she loves to eat (especially if you despise it) and choke it down and pretend you like it. She'll be touched, and you'll score. She realize that you are willing to give her what she wants, and that you know what her 'favorite' foods are. If you don't know what they are, call her mother or sister and find out.

Here's another Valentine's Day tip:

Give her a gift that could last all year long. I call this trick the 'neverending bouqet' - and it really, really works. And it's cheap! Buy her a nice vase for flowers. Fill it about halfway with flowers, a nice variety. Every few days, buy her another single flower, and toss it in there, and be sure to take out any flowers that are starting to wilt. Over time, the flowers will be steadily replenished, and she'll get the message - Romance requires some pruning. Not like your fingers when you stay in the tub too long, I mean, in the sense that it requires work and attention. This bouqet trick has paid off big dividends for me back in college.

Thank you, please drive through.

Brian

02-14-2003, 04:23 PM

Originally posted by Krogenar@Feb 14 2003, 03:13 PM
You're the man in this relationship, so go out, and buy her whatever she loves to eat (especially if you despise it) and choke it down and pretend you like it. She'll be touched, and you'll score. She realize that you are willing to give her what she wants, and that you know what her 'favorite' foods are. If you don't know what they are, call her mother or sister and find out.

Krogenar,

Who asked you? See below quote. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Originally posted by O-B-GATES@Feb 14 2003, 02:50 PM
Fabulous and Insightful,

What should I cook for dinner tonight for my wife on Valentine's Day?

~OBG

~OBG

Krogenar

02-14-2003, 05:12 PM

Umm... I'm a duly-deputized 'advice-giver-outer' on this thread. Check the thread title.

Brian

02-14-2003, 05:13 PM

I did, but I didn't ask you. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

But your advice was well taken.

~OBG

FerrisWiel

02-14-2003, 05:18 PM

I believe I might be of assistance here. I would say, deep fry cabbage in animal fats. That way both parties are pleased or disgusted and you feel closer due to a mutual bond of disgust!

--Ferris Wiel

Brian

02-14-2003, 05:36 PM

Originally posted by FerrisWiel@Feb 14 2003, 04:18 PM
I believe I might be of assistance here. I would say, deep fry cabbage in animal fats. That way both parties are pleased or disgusted and you feel closer due to a mutual bond of disgust!

--Ferris Wiel
I already asked you! Your advice in this thread is not well taken.

~OBG

FerrisWiel

02-14-2003, 05:42 PM

Look. I provided answers where they were needed... and I'm almost as qualified as Krogenar... and if you squint really hard and turn your head to the side it looks like my name is in the title of the thread, too!

--Ferris Wiel

Krogenar

02-14-2003, 06:54 PM

It helps if you close your eyes completely. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/smile.gif
Besides, you needed advice promptly. It was an advice emergency, in my view, and I sproinged into action.

As far as romance goes OBG, trust me, you want my advice. Women are irresistibly drawn to the vegetable magnetism that radiates from me like I'm one big chunk of radioactive love.

Buy your wife all the materials necessary for her to prepare a wonderful meal for you both. She'll appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Justin

02-16-2003, 04:42 PM

Dear...you guys...

Why would two roommates pretend not to know eachother?

Lara

02-16-2003, 05:43 PM

Dear DI, DF and last but not least Special K, one of my personalities has kidnapped another one of my personalities. What should I do?

Whisper

02-16-2003, 06:14 PM

*pssst...You forgot Special K...he gets angry when forgotten...and no on would like him when he's angry....cuz then he gets mad!*

Lara

02-16-2003, 06:47 PM

LMAO! @Whisp.

I thought Special K was implied :look:

Whisper

02-16-2003, 06:48 PM

He doesn't like to imply either...he deals with cold hard facts...and...umm yea.........

Lara

02-16-2003, 07:03 PM

There, I edited my post style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

Whisper

02-16-2003, 07:12 PM

But...that means...this little convo here will appear totally out of place!

Lara

02-16-2003, 07:14 PM

LOL Whisp, I don't want to incur Special K's wrath style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif

Whisper

02-16-2003, 07:19 PM

That's undestandable!

Mann

02-16-2003, 07:22 PM

so much advice to give, so little time!

Darth Fabulous

02-16-2003, 10:14 PM

Dear...you guys...

Why would two roommates pretend not to know eachother?

I don't know. Why does being able to view two people's IP addresses seem a little like an invasion of privacy? Why do you care? Why does the same IP address keep trying to attack my computer only to be blocked by my firewall? Why do I get the feeling it is someone on this board? Are you the mystery attacker? Is it ethical for a moderator to reveal a private conversation with a member to other board members? Does acting like a jerk make you feel like a big man? Are you on a power trip? I think these are the more important questions, don't you?

Whisper

02-16-2003, 10:17 PM

*Raises eyebrows* For some reason I think this is more serious than my slight on Justin's hypcritical ordering of no more advice threads and then makeing one himself...

Javen

02-16-2003, 10:19 PM

This is pretty deep.

nerfer

02-16-2003, 11:23 PM

Indeed

Darth Fabulous

02-17-2003, 05:11 PM

Anyone need advice?

Justin

02-17-2003, 06:27 PM

LOL! Jeeze, you're taking this way too seriously.

Fab, I'm not the one who noticed the IP addresses are the same, and I'm not the one who brought up the multiple identity thing.

I just asked you about it, and I don't think I was the only one who did that either. In fact, I'm the one who convinced the rest of the mods that you were telling the truth.

As for revealing a private conversation, I don't think I did that. I asked you a question that only you and Insightful knew the answer to, just as a joke. Now that you talked about it, I think you've revealed more than I did.

Also, I don't know enough about computers to try and hack yours, even if I wanted to.

And I'm not acting like a jerk, I'm just kidding with you. Please don't take everything so seriously. We're all friends here.

Justin

02-17-2003, 06:30 PM

Originally posted by Whisper@Feb 17 2003, 02:17 AM
*Raises eyebrows* For some reason I think this is more serious than my slight on Justin's hypcritical ordering of no more advice threads and then makeing one himself...
If you can't beat 'em, join 'em.

Darth Fabulous

02-17-2003, 07:09 PM

LOL! Jeeze, you're taking this way too seriously.

You think so?

Fab, I'm not the one who noticed the IP addresses are the same, and I'm not the one who brought up the multiple identity thing.

I never said you were, just said being able to see members' IP addresses seems like an invasion of privacy despite it's effectiveness in banning members. And the addresses are not the same they are significantly different.

I just asked you about it, and I don't think I was the only one who did that either. In fact, I'm the one who convinced the rest of the mods that you were telling the truth.

My point is what difference does it make? Forums are supposed to be a place where people can talk about things without revealing personal information if they so choose. Being forced to acknowledge who I am and am not acquainted with costs me some anonymity.

As for revealing a private conversation, I don't think I did that. I asked you a question that only you and Insightful knew the answer to, just as a joke. Now that you talked about it, I think you've revealed more than I did.

Then why mention it? Hinting at it is just as bad in my opinion because you knew one or both of us would respond to it since niether of us like you or think you are funny. Either way it was not a welcome comment and was not well received, so maybe you did step over the line a little.

Also, I don't know enough about computers to try and hack yours, even if I wanted to.

I'm so releaved.

And I'm not acting like a jerk, I'm just kidding with you. Please don't take everything so seriously. We're all friends here.

A little seriousness now and then from a moderator might be a good thing, don't you think? I would think you might have realized that your brand of humor was not highly thought of by the advice givers on this thread and that you might have decided trying to get laughs was not worth your time here. I've grossly overestimated you.

Krogenar

02-17-2003, 10:47 PM

Originally posted by Darth Lara@Feb 16 2003, 07:14 PM
LOL Whisp, I don't want to incur Special K's wrath style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/tongue.gif
Wrath? Me? I'm not wrathful.

Scornful, sometimes? Sure. But not wrathful, I don't think. Lara, if one of your personalities is holding the other hostage, you need to do the following:

Send a list of your demands to the police. I suggest you ask for a helicopter, provided that one of the personalities knows how to fly it. Also request two clown suits, so both personalities can suit up - that'll confuse the snipers. Then, make your getaway.

Krogenar

02-17-2003, 10:52 PM

(reads the fighting above)

My advice....

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/grouphug.gif

... feel the love everyone.
Or the existential dread, your choice.

Justin

02-18-2003, 12:27 AM

I don't see why this is all such a big deal. This is a Star Wars message board for crying out loud.

And what exactly did I do to have you dislike me so?

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 12:42 AM

I don't see why this is all such a big deal. This is a Star Wars message board for crying out loud.

And what exactly did I do to have you dislike me so?

It was never a big deal and was resolved a month ago, which is why you bringing it up again in public is terribly inappropriate. When it was a private discussion, I didn't have a problem with it. My problem with you is that you seem to lack the sensitivity, among other qualities, to moderate.

Justin

02-18-2003, 12:45 AM

What? Oh come on.

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:01 AM

I really don't have anything else to say to you. If you want to continue this conversation, feel free to do it by PM. I don't want this thread to continue down this path.

Now does anyone need any advice?

Obidobi

02-18-2003, 01:08 AM

Why does Obi-Wan think that I'm an Englander?

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:09 AM

I don't know, maybe he has a thing for guys with British accents.

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:10 AM

style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Obidobi

02-18-2003, 01:12 AM

Why did Padme laugh about your answer?

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:13 AM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 17 2003, 11:09 PM
I don't know, maybe he has a thing for guys with British accents.
What? Are you talking about my brother??

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:14 AM

I wasn't laughing at that answer I was laughing about Justin and Darth Fabulous arguing!

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:15 AM

I think it's because I made fun of Obi-Wan a little bit, or maybe because I just hit the nail on the head.

Obidobi

02-18-2003, 01:17 AM

Fabu!
Why does Padme like arguing?
And do you think the she can enlight her brother where I reside in the world?

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:17 AM

You are a strange man! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:18 AM

What? Are you talking about my brother??

Why yes, yes I am.

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:19 AM

Fabu!
Why does Padme like arguing?

It's her way of flirting.

And do you think the she can enlight her brother where I reside in the world?

I don't know if she can or not. Either way I don't think Obi-Wan is ready to understand where it is you represent.

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:20 AM

Originally posted by Padme@Feb 18 2003, 12:17 AM
You are a strange man! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif
Who me or that other, slightly more horny fellow?

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:21 AM

DF, Why does Obidobi act and say such stupid things? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:22 AM

Originally posted by Darth Fabulous@Feb 17 2003, 11:19 PM
It's her way of flirting.

Why do you say that?

Obidobi

02-18-2003, 01:22 AM

Fabu!
No doubt! She must mean you! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/wacko.gif

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:22 AM

Originally posted by Padme@Feb 18 2003, 12:21 AM
DF, Why does Obidobi act and say such stupid things? style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif
I could give you the general answer, but telling me which particular stupid thing he said would allow me to be more specific.

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:23 AM

Obidobi was the one I was talking about.

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:24 AM

Why do you say that?

Because it is quite obvious to the rest of us even if it is subconscious on your part.

Obidobi

02-18-2003, 01:25 AM

Obidobi was the one I was talking about.

No way! That can't be true Padme.....*sniff* After all we been through!!!! Noooooooo thats impossible.........

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:26 AM

I don't fllirt. I act one way all the time, I just like to tell people what I think.

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:28 AM

Riiiiiight. style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/rolleyes.gif

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:29 AM

Everybody flirts.

Obidobi

02-18-2003, 01:29 AM

http://64.207.13.28/mysmilies/contrib/ed/cry.gif

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:31 AM

Why would I flirt with people over the internet? I would much rather flirt face to face.

Darth Fabulous

02-18-2003, 01:32 AM

Well then hop on a plane baby.

Padme

02-18-2003, 01:33 AM

Okay! style_emoticons/<#EMO_DIR#>/laugh.gif

Darth Insightful

02-18-2003, 01:34 AM

Boy, I go away for a couple days and things get crazy around here. A quick recap for those who may have missed it:

1. Krogenar advised Darth Lara on her multiple personality problem. Have to say that I agree with his assessment. Kudos to Krogenar.

2. Justin gets Darth Fabulous so mad he's shaking like Ted Kennedy at a dry party. I think this subject has been hashed out sufficiently so I feel no need to comment further.

3. Then we've got DF and Padme renewing their little fling here lately. I myself was worried that the excitement and romance had gone out of that relationship. I see a Billy Bob Thorton-Angelina Jolie sort of thing going on here at some point, minus the divorce. It's getting closer and closer to Spring and love is in the air.

So to wrap up: DarthLara-multiple personalities; Krogenar-kudorific; Justin-getting under DF's skin; DF- mad, very mad; Padme-trying to revive romance with DF (DF obliging); Iraq-bad; Dan Quayle-still gaining acceptance.